Redefine One Word, Then Redefine Others As Well

If You Can Just Redefine Words When Ever You Want To , Then We Petition To Redefine These As Well

We feel that if you can "redefine" the word marriage to satisfy certain people, that we should be able to redefine other words as well.

We petition that the following words be changed , and given a new meaning:

(listed are the words and the new meanings)

Ramification (ram?uh?fuh?kay?shun) n. A consequence that is forced down your throat.

Politician (polly?tish?un) n.Someone who shakes your hand before an election and your confidence after it.

Stalemate (stale?mate) n. A leading cause of divorce.

Classic novel np. A book which people praise, but seldom read.

Compromise n. The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.

Conference n. The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference room np. A place where everyone talks, no one listens, and later everyone disagrees about what was said.

Doctor n. A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

Etc. abb. An abbreviation that makes others think you know more than you actually do.

Father n. The banker that nature provides.

Lecture n. The art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the lecturees without passing through the minds of either.

Office n. A place where you can relax after a strenuous night at home.

Smile n. A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears n. The means by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.

Acre n. Someone that aches

Afterdraft n. Life following conscription

Atomize v. To transform from a male cat to a female.

Carnation n. Country where each citizen owns an automobile

Childhood n. Cowl for an infant.

Colander n. Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.

Coroner n. A round corner

Cytology n. The study of real estate.

Diode n. A pair of two long poems.

Emotion n. Electron movement (also e-motion).

Evening n. The first Chinese woman God created.

Exercise n. Her former body measurements.

Immediate v. To refrain from mediating.

Liquor n. How a male animal cleans his mate.

Manometer n. An instrument for detecting disguised males in a group of females.

Maritime n. Hour of a wedding.

Nitrate n. The price after sundown.

Season n. Male offspring of Poseidon.

Syntax n. Tariff on immorality.

Tautology n. A riveting, gripping study.