Unfair child support laws
Public Comments (14,822)
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Jul 10th, 2016Someone from Pittsburg, CA writes:
As a result of he mother of my child keeping my child from me for almost 6 months, I decided to take her to court.. At the time she had a job as well.. After a long painful process of her making up lies about me to get as much time as she could I finally got joint custody. She then filed for support.. She is now getting a third of my paycheck every 2 weeks. And now she is unemployed collecting my money.. And also she lives at home with her parents with her husband who has a job.. All the while she loves there rent free, doesn't pay for groceries or anything being that her parents are wealthy. I live on my own and pay my own bills while I have to give a third of my paycheck to my "daughter" who doesn't see a dime of my money.. I don't see how this is fair to my child or my situation either. -
Jul 10th, 2016Someone from Decatur, GA writes:
First I just want to say ever child should be well taking care of,but the child support system is based only on money being sent for the child (which in some cases doesn't even go to the child) rather than providing and better stand point for the father to be around the child or children. Meaning I child never recognizes the money time being spent with the child or children is more important so if that's what's important why not help the parent with better seeing the child first,by not suspending his license,not taking a big percentage of his earnings,starting a program on getting the parent to be more interactive with the children then just extorting. Clearly I could go on about this Child Support System that obviously doesn't care about the father being in the childs life but just finding a way to once again discouraging the parent by stripping them of there financial earnings,and/or driving abilities,even incarcerating a parent (Felony).Lifes hard enough as it is.REPORT COMMENTS
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Jul 10th, 2016Someone from Southington, CT writes:
The current child support laws are shameful. With a 50/50 split, my boyfriend has to pay his ex wife an amount of money that actually brings her weekly income higher than his. Makes absolutely no sense. With the new support order, he wont bring home enough to cover his mortgage, yet his ex wife bought a house, a new car and a $300/hour attorney. Just another was to keep good people down and to encourage entitled people not to work for anything.REPORT COMMENTS
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Jul 9th, 2016Someone from Seymour, TN writes:
Ive paid over 205,000. In last ten years. Kids live with me.Still pay 1200. A month get it fixed.laws are un fair and women stay at home eat free and collect checks from state and from fathers, its a unfair system.REPORT COMMENTS
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Jul 9th, 2016Someone from Chicago, IL signed.
Jul 9th, 2016Someone from Lancaster, PA signed.
Jul 9th, 2016Someone from Auburn, ME writes:
I think that all assets, while accumulated during marriage, should be split 50-50- unless there are other arrangements or agreements. As far as children go, it should be up to the parent, whom kid(s) are with, at the time to provide for them. Example- If mom/dad has custodial rights than its their responsibility to take care of the kids while with them; and when the other parent has the kids than that parent takes care of them. I dont see my kids more than 2 months out of the year. I dont feel I should have to continue to pay CS for kids that I dont see and live out of state and this is not by choice. The pain and suffering- health issues ( mental/physical as well as not being with my kids, missing out on every aspect in their) this has caused me and the kids. CS should not be the leading factor. If I could use the money thats pd for CS, I would be able to see my kids more often and do more for them.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 9th, 2016Someone from Jenison, MI signed.
Jul 9th, 2016Someone from York, PA writes:
The statistics speak for themselves. From 2001-2012, the federal Office of Child Support Enforcement reports a whopping increase of 50 percent in child support collections from $21 billion to $31.6 billion. Do you honestly think all the people who owe this money are bad parents? Do you honestly think that all these parents are sitting back and not trying to pay for their responsibility? Or....do you think maybe it is a faulty system that sets up the parents for failure right from the start? I think the answer is pretty obvious. So here is the kicker. We legalize gay/lesbian marriage, we spend money fighting wars in other countries, we spend time and energy on abortion laws, but I guess we are going to sit back and do nothing about a very outstanding issue that is effecting millions of people. Here is something else to think about. If I am a non-custodial parent paying for my child. And I have paid that child support on time for eight years straight. Why in the hell is my wages being garnished? Why am I being charged administrative fees for paying my responsibility? And who in the hell would want to keep paying when this is the treatment you get for being a decent parent? Why in god's name isn't it mandated, under normal, functioning circumstances, that the custodial parent is not obligated to at least contact the non-custodial parent for meeting that obligation. I don't know about you guys, but if I was paying a car payment every month and didn't have that car, I would be pretty ****ed off about it. Different situation, but you know what I am getting at. I want some intrinsic value for the investment I made having a child. I don't know, maybe in the form of a phone call at least once a month. I haven't gotten a phone call in over four years. Also, here is my favorite part. Imputed income. So you leave your job and want to take something more worth your while. Think that income is what determines your child support, guess again. The state you owe child support can, potentially, use income you were making in the past as the determination for your child support. They don't necessarily care what your making now. And yes, it happened to me. I respect the custodial parents, that in good faith, raise children and encourage their upbringing. However. the system is what is primarily to blame for the enforcement of that upbringing. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 9th, 2016Someone from Ontario, NY writes:
My ex makes about 20k a year more than me has 3 different baby's from 3 different men collects support from all of us. Gets a free ride to school because she is a (single mother) by choice! And get assistance from the state for food,utilities and rent works all the ot she wants but yet I have a family of my own to raise one girl two boys and a wife yet I still have to pay to full blowen amount to her every week while I struggle to keep my family afloat I also pay medical insurance for my child but yet I can't get the payment reduced in good old NY and the unprofessional judge from chenango county NY had the nerve to say after she was awarded child support that she can now go buy her beer and alcohol!!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 9th, 2016Someone from Humacao, PR writes:
"It's true there is a ton of unfairness. I've been paying child support for 4 years and I haven't had the court come up with any decisions so that I can continue seeing them. Simply because my ex requested during the divorce that she didn't want me to have any type of relationship. So what happens? The court referes the case to the social worker who in turn after analyzing the case comes up with the recommendation the my ex has to take our 3 children to a family therapist. It was only suppose to be 3 consecutive sessions so that the social worker could come up with a decision. That was over a year and a half ago! All because my ex would always put off or change the sessions. Same thing happened as she missed an appiontment with the social worker, and twice had missed court dates. I don't get it. She re-married 6 months after the divorce so I don't know what her problem is but she sure loves the child $upport. Personally, I think we both know that she is just afraid that our children will want to spend more time with me. I've always been responsible and never missed a deposit. Heck, I've even been mature enough to advance it to her when ever she asked. I think it's time I take her back to court." Sincerely, a U.S. Army soldier.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 9th, 2016Someone from Humacao, PR writes:
"It's true there is a ton of unfairness. I've been paying child support for 4 years and I haven't had the court come up with any decisions so that I can continue seeing them. Simply because my ex requested during the divorce that she didn't want me to have any type of relationship. So what happens? The court referes the case to the social worker who in turn after analyzing the case comes up with the recommendation the my ex has to take our 3 children to a family therapist. It was only suppose to be 3 consecutive sessions so that the social worker could come up with a decision. That was over a year and a half ago! All because my ex would always put off or change the sessions. Same thing happened as she missed an appiontment with the social worker, and twice had missed court dates. I don't get it. She re-married 6 months after the divorce so I don't know what her problem is but she sure loves the child $upport. Personally, I think we both know that she is just afraid that our children will want to spend more time with me. I've always been responsible and never missed a deposit. Heck, I've even been mature enough to advance it to her when ever she asked. I think it's time I take her back to court." Sincerely, a U.S. Army soldier.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 9th, 2016Someone from Carencro, LA signed.
Jul 9th, 2016Someone from Napa, CA writes:
There should be a FAIR system that allows both parents to be able to afford to live and have their children. The current system is wildly unfair and ends up hurting the families and especially the children. In my experience, the laws, the courts and the support calculator (the almighty/ridiculous/stupid Dissomaster in California) are extremely unfair and ancient and the family courts and divorce lawyers are only there to help themselves to your money and have little care of the outcomes and consequences for families and children. I pay my ex almost 40% of my NET income, and after support, she has $3300 NET more than I do. She intentionally charged $25000.00 of her lawyer's fees to my credit cards as well as stiffing me with about $35000.00 in other debt. She got to buy a new house, I got to go bankrupt and because I pay her so much and have so much less money, I was forced to move further away from my kids and my ex and now she is trying to get more money out of me because I can't have the kids as much because I can't afford to live closer. Moreover, for some reason the support calculator rewards owning a house by factoring mortgage in to the support calculations, but completely ignores the fact that renters still have to pay for rent, which is usually MORE than a mortgage payment. I can see how the unfairness of the system pushes some people into being "deadbeats" and pushes people into homelessness. And then, if you are homeless, the courts will doubtless take away any time you have... I have joint legal and physical custody of my kids, but because my ex intentionally did some pretty nasty things, she has all of the advantage, all because the family courts reward lies and this sort of thing and have no consequences for lies and demonstrably false statements.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 9th, 2016Someone from Napa, CA signed.
Jul 8th, 2016Someone from Murfreesboro, TN signed.
Jul 8th, 2016Someone from Albany, GA writes:
I think there should be a FAIR amount set for each state instead of based on the father's pay. My husband pays $434.00 a month for one kid and he also supports me and 3 other kids we have, his monthly income is only 2,000 on a good month. Because of the increase in child support we had to take out loans and he had to get side jobs to pay it. That's crazy!!!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from Sacramento, CA writes:
Child support creates the label dead beat, the courts will not allow me to see my daughter, and yet gauge me for $990 a month, when my income is only $2,100 a month after taxes, how can a man support his two sons and pay half his earnings. The cost of living in California is only going up, all we ask is a reform for a broken system.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from Sacramento, CA writes:
System turns good men into dead beats, the system creates the labels. Fair process is all we ask!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from Sacramento, CA writes:
System turns good men into dead beats, the system creates the labels. Fair process is all we ask!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from Lawton, OK writes:
Since it takes two people to create a child, providing for that child's needs should be a shared responsibility. I WANT to use a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both parents contribute to, but my old family court judge refused and told me both that "children belong with the mother" and that "your [voluntarily unemployed ex-]wife deserves that money". At my court hearing this morning, a new family court judge denied my ex-wife's request for more money and told her both that she needs to get a job and that "child support is for the care and maintenance of the children, not for your support". My request for shared custody was denied (again), despite my choosing to live in the same school district as my ex-wife to minimize the disruption to my children's lives, so the fight to be more than a child support check and a visitor in my children's lives is not over yet. Additional reading - http://fathersunite.org/Child%20Support%20Incentive%20Abuse%20Report.pdf and https://web.archive.org/web/20150219014614/http://answerisland.com/child-support-kickbacks.htmlREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from New London, MO writes:
ITS AN INCENTIVE!!.we now have to pay you money to take care of your own kids!what did people do before child support was established? they figured out a way!!!ABOLISH THE CHILD SUPPORT LAW!!PARENTS,WAKE UP AND GET OFF YOUR ASS!!you take care of your kids,PERIOD!give em to grandma,put them in foster care,get off your butt and work,but dont expect someone else to pay you off for something that was your decision.WORK IT OUT! AMERICA,YOU ARE CREATING MORE LAZINESS FOR THE HUMAN RACE! they also need to make it an agreement of both parties whether to have the child or not,NOT JUST THE MOTHER!![oh youre not paying me anymore?...well I don\'t want to take em!!!!I]I wonder how many kids would be thrown away by horrible abusing parents of the system if that happened?HUMANS NEED A WAKE-UP-CALL!!!and start drug testing for all the government aid.that will clear out a lot of Americas debt,and the lying abusers of the system!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from Coeur D Alene, ID signed.
Jul 8th, 2016Someone from New London, MO writes:
ITS AN INCENTIVE!!.we now have to pay you money to take care of your own kids!what did people do before child support was established? they figured out a way!!!ABOLISH CHILD SUPPORT!!PARENTS,WAKE UP AND GET OFF YOUR ASS!!they also need to make it an agreement of both parties whether to have the child or not,NOT JUST THE MOTHER!!oh youre not paying me anymore?...well I don't want to take em!!!!HUMANS NEED A WAKE-UP-CALL!!!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from New London, MO writes:
ITS AN INCENTIVE!!.we now have to pay you money to take care of your own kids!what did people do before child support was established? they figured out a way!!!ABOLISH CHILD SUPPORT!!PARENTS,WAKE UP AND GET OFF YOUR ASS!!they also need to make it an agreement of both parties whether to have the child or not,NOT JUST THE MOTHER!!oh youre not paying me anymore?...well I don't want to take em!!!!HUMANS NEED A WAKE-UP-CALL!!!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from Ferndale, MI signed.
Jul 8th, 2016Someone from Pattersonville, NY writes:
I couldn't agree more. The situation is relative too. If a court grants 50/50 custody, the non-custodial parent would have more time to work and get off their lazy rear-end. My judge told me to get a 2nd job. Why me and not her? Here is something to think about too; Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves. Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers. 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census] 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999] 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census] Now I just picked a few but there are tons of these statistics. I also tried to search for Motherless statistics and thought I came across something. Trying to be fair I started reading yet more statistics that are not ideal for single mothers. in cases where a father is granted custodial rights, 30% of fathers receive some sort of support ordered by the court in a divorce, whereas 80% of women are awarded support during a divorce. Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999] As I read these statistics (yes, some are very out dated) I am beginning to see an underlying trend. Mothers are the nurturing portion of the relationship to the child where the father is the stability, the security. Each parent putting in the things that a child needs to grow up and be as normal as possible. Why point this out? There are so many single parents out there who become jaded when a divorce happens. They make it their goal to destroy the child's perception of the other parent and that child grows up seeing both parents arguing and ignoring the real needs of the child. So to those who say that the custody should be 50/50, I cant help but agree wholeheartedly. I myself had 50/50 custody with 3 children (2 boys, 1 girl). As my kids have aged, the boys both decided living with me was more ideal. I am a stern father. I show love and support, but they know I mean business. Splitting from their mother initially destroyed me as a person. I cracked basically and my kids witnessed this and I know to this day that it had a direct impact on my children. As my daughter grew older and I suspected that she was becoming sexually active with a very pushy boyfriend, she decided I was cramping her style and moved in with her mother at the age of 15 (almost 16). Under my roof I would have been more of a constant toREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 8th, 2016Someone from Pattersonville, NY writes:
I couldn't agree more. The situation is relative too. If a court grants 50/50 custody, the non-custodial parent would have more time to work and get off their lazy rear-end. My judge told me to get a 2nd job. Why me and not her? Here is something to think about too; Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves. Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers. 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census] 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999] 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census] Now I just picked a few but there are tons of these statistics. I also tried to search for Motherless statistics and thought I came across something. Trying to be fair I started reading yet more statistics that are not ideal for single mothers. in cases where a father is granted custodial rights, 30% of fathers receive some sort of support ordered by the court in a divorce, whereas 80% of women are awarded support during a divorce. Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999] As I read these statistics (yes, some are very out dated) I am beginning to see an underlying trend. Mothers are the nurturing portion of the relationship to the child where the father is the stability, the security. Each parent putting in the things that a child needs to grow up and be as normal as possible. Why point this out? There are so many single parents out there who become jaded when a divorce happens. They make it their goal to destroy the child's perception of the other parent and that child grows up seeing both parents arguing and ignoring the real needs of the child. So to those who say that the custody should be 50/50, I cant help but agree wholeheartedly. I myself had 50/50 custody with 3 children (2 boys, 1 girl). As my kids have aged, the boys both decided living with me was more ideal. I am a stern father. I show love and support, but they know I mean business. Splitting from their mother initially destroyed me as a person. I cracked basically and my kids witnessed this and I know to this day that it had a direct impact on my children. As my daughter grew older and I suspected that she was becoming sexually active with a very pushy boyfriend, she decided I was cramping her style and moved in with her mother at the age of 15 (almost 16). Under my roof I would have been more of a constant toREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from San Bernardino, CA signed.
Jul 7th, 2016Someone from Newcomerstown, OH writes:
I want to go to school, I want to better my life. However I can't because I'm getting raped by child support, we had an agreement to even cancel itand, according to the "oh so great state of Ohio" she can't cancel it. It's complete and total ********, she gets to steal the money I actually go out and earn all while I struggle to make my life any degree better. I want to go back to school, I want a better job, I want to be happy; but no, I get ****ed over for wanting a better life. There is a problem with the system and it needs to be fixed.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from Amarillo, TX signed.
Jul 7th, 2016Someone from Indianapolis, IN writes:
The child support laws are unfair. A lot of people are paying to much while others are paying to little. It needs to be looked at as a set wage (how much does it cost to take care of a child and divide that in half). This percentage of what the other person makes is ridiculous. Hate to say it but kids don't need designer clothing and name brand food. Why should one person work their a** off just so another person can sit on their butt and do nothing or work a lesser paying job. I also think that the person receiving the child support should have to show proof that they are actually using it for the child and not for their own personal use. I'm not saying every person out there getting/paying child support has these issues, but there are a lot of people out there who do. My personal opinion, 50/50 custody and get rid of the support all together.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from Buckeye, AZ writes:
$500 a month for the mother of my child who abuses the welfare system and claims financial difficulties, yet strolls into court with a new coach purse and just moved to one of the most expensive zip codes in arizona. Yeah...I would say there is some serious flaws in the system.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from Paducah, KY signed.
Jul 7th, 2016Someone from Hagerstown, MD writes:
The system is corrupt and needs to be abolished. F the governmentREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from Austin, TX signed.
Jul 7th, 2016Someone from Buffalo, MN writes:
Our states child support laws are extremely flawed. My boyfriend currently pays over half of his paycheck for child support, meanwhile the mother has purchased a new vehicle and in the process of purchasing a new house. She had a lawyer and he did not which was a huge mistake but I do not feel that making a father with a full time job pay 2/3rds of his check to child support is right. Then you require him to carry insurance on himself. My question is what should he live off when there is nothing left after child support and insurance? He opts not to have insurance and I am pretty sure will eventually file bankruptcy on the medical bills that he currently has. This man works a full time job. It seems like these days it's all about punishment, and though some is deserved, the courts need to realize that it's more than just the father paying in many cases.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from Pattersonville, NY writes:
Comment: Marlen E. from Lebanon, VA writes: First I'd like to say it's not just woman who set on their butt. I have 3 girls and was married for ten years. I endured years of physical and mental abuse. I worked 3 jobs while he played the mom roll. His income was SSI disability and before you say anything my kids can't draw a check it's not the same disability. After separating I begged him to help but nothing. I took it to court and started receiving support (didn't last long). I felt sorry for him on numerous occasions cause he would say he didn't have anything left after paying me so I said keep some. Later I found out he lied about not having money. I caught him working while being on the draw. Someone reported him so he lost his check. He quit coming around so I new something was up and went back to court only to find out he was back on the check. I couldn't get anything cause they don't garnish or take from a person that draws ssi. He is married now and has 2 kids one belongs to his ex. He filed for custody and child support against the ex guess what he now receives child support. How is that fair? I get NOTHING Next time don't point fingers at just one race. Some woman are just as bad as the dads EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!! I want stop trying to get the law changed. I was just reading this and I think the issue is backward here. This site is intended to make lawfully, paying individuals heard. Not to stick it to women who truly need child support. This is regarding career child support abusers. This is not a one sided sex situation. This situation happens to both male and female. Here is an example of whats wrong with society today; A man, dates a single mother, he moves in with this single mother and they share bills. The single father supplements single mother and new boyfriends income "for the children" lol. Single father cannot afford an apartment to give proper shelter to his children, so, the court doesn't allow for overnight visitation because his living situation is unfit for the kids. Then, single mother and new boyfriend plan vacations, go to expensive sporting events and buy frivolous items. House 3 dogs and rarely ever buy new clothing for the kids. disclaimer: this is a totally fictitious example :) This would be an example of why the laws need changing. There should be a system of checks and balances where support receivers should have to show receipts of everything. Bills, clothing expenses, food, everything... and, a support receiver should not be allowed to work a job that is tip based because these sort of people lie through their teeth about how much they receive in tips. A person who starts their life over with a new love in their life should have child support drastically reduced or stopped all together based on the new total combined household income. You may be getting ripped off Marlen, but your story (with ssi) is very unique and not of the norm. The example above is starting to be more of the normREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from College Point, NY writes:
It is unfair that women could repeatingly cheating , having kids from several guys and make money from child support. It is also unfair that child support is taken from gross income. The law needs to be revised.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelJul 7th, 2016Someone from Houston, TX writes:
Laws that will allow the court to set child support payments according to 'gross' income for the sole purpose of the lining their own pockets and that do not establish visitation for the non-castodial parent automatically in the court order along with child support are indeed unfair.REPORT COMMENTS
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