Please stop the unfair punishment of good fathers. We need child support reform now!
Public Comments (2,771)
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Nov 9th, 2016Eric H. from Lafayette, TN writes:
I'm ordered to pay 1,143.00 a month my mom has never had a job since we've known each other. She lives with her mom and has been since we have known each other. I have 1 son and pay 1,143.00 month. And she has another kid another guy and I only get 2 hours a day on the weekend to see him. -
Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Murfreesboro, NC writes:
I have been saying the system has been unfair for years. I split up with my 8 year old son's mother about 2 years ago. We had been living together since he was born. Ive always been an active parent in his life. I work hard everyday. To reward myself i went and brought a new car. Once she heard of this, she went & took out a child support order out of spite. It's not fair that all it takes is phone call & now the man is sitting in court. Now im ordered to pay child support & provide insurance because she wants to be spiteful.REPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Jesse Z. from Horicon, WI writes:
What about a dad that can't see his children but pay out the*****in support for the mutter to by her sulf what she wontsREPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Nathan W. from Toledo, OH writes:
I completely agree this is how child support should be!!! My son's mother lies and says she lives with her mom for help and support cause she works part time! But she's engaged has a child with her fiance who makes 22.75$ an hour has a house and she also works full time...I work 40 hours a week paying $160 a week struggling to pay bills and feed my family with 192 a week while she lives off child support and gets to relax and never let's me see my son it's not fair.REPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Saint Louis, MO writes:
In Missouri they combine our income then look at it as if the father is making all of that money. then calculate child support. So let's say if I make $3000 monthly and my child's mother makes 3000 as well. They will calculate my income as if I'm making 6000 then figure out a child support number. It's very unfair. Crazy thing is. When a man requests a DNA test we are punished for it. It's several women who are out here taking advantage of men just because they said so. I knew nothing of my child til he was 10 months old. I still get hit with a 500 child support order. She works as a manager at the Ameristar casino. I USED TO work at GM until I had an unfortunate accident that put me out of work. They told me in court well you are used to making a lot of money so you can find another job with ease paying you over $20 hr. They never took a look at my previous work history. That was the only job I had making that much and it was just part time work 2 days if I was lucky 3 days a weekREPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Hibbing, MN writes:
I am unemployed since October 2013 yet the sherburne court in Minnesota refuses to change child support which is $2100 a month. So now it is accumulating close to $76000. I am forbidden to communicate with my two kids because of a fabricated plan by my ex-wife and her husband. The court was so bias to stand with my ex-wife without even examining evidence and details.REPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Waverly, VA writes:
I pay child support to a 30 year old young lady, lives with her parents, work part time, don't pay for child care, and no bills at all. I pay her more than 50% than what she actually makes. If she even works. I wasn't giving a chance to say anything just set a price and it's being taken out of my check. So what she going to pay?REPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Springfield, IL writes:
My husband was order to pay $800.00 in child support on top of being hit with back support for a child he knew nothing about. So is it right to make him pay for the mothers choice to not inform him that he was the child's father. This child was almost 5 years old when she came after him for child support. This was her first attempt in the whole 4 years of the child's life. She applied for welfare and had seek the father. When we questioned her about why she waited so long her exact words was that she thought the child's father was for her current boyfriend at that time, and after that it was because she had married and her husband was providing for the child. i just don't think the system is fair when it comes to financial support or their rights as fathers. My husband provides for myself and our 5 kids on one salary and I feel it's not right. I'm not saying that he shouldn't be paying anything but I feel that $800 is a bit much for one child when he has 5 others to support. My husband hasn't complained not once but I must admit that it bothers me that she is getting over on him. Had her intentions been more understandable meaning had she reached out to clear this issue up with my husband instead of making him look like a dead beat father and lying to the caseworking saying he knew about the child I could respect the situation better.REPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Jasjuan S. from Wichita Falls, TX writes:
They get mad at us and run to child support and make us seem bad and they throw us right on it no questions ask. Then we end up in jail. It's getting out of handREPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Thibodaux, LA writes:
5 kids all in pampers and they want me to pay 350 a month and I'm living off of 975 a month while mom get loaded wit her dope head bf fuk cs luv my kids but the system sucksa big trump dickREPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Ron from Miami, FL writes:
To many fathers are with out a job do to childsuport, because they take your licence away if you don't pay on time. But what if it's hard to find a job at the time now you have no license and now days on every application it ask the questions Do you have a valid drivers license? So now what was a 50/50 chance of getting a job becomes a 20% chance of gaining a job so that you can pay your obligated fee.REPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Tarsha T. from Newton, TX writes:
So many fathers are paying child support an the child isn't theirs. Simply because the mother says he's the father this is wrong. Law should be in place one must take a paternity test in order to determine paternity this should be a given . If mother refuse no support is allowed . Texas is the ring leader in taken sides with mother this must be changed establish paternity first. I know many fathers paying g support for children not theirs this is unfair and unjust. Later go f out the mother lied and courts should make her pay the support back. This needs to change put laws in place that require you to establish paternity first. This would be the ethical tho g to do.REPORT COMMENTS
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Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Huntsville, AL signed.
Nov 9th, 2016Someone from Bell Gardens, CA writes:
My husband is ordered to pay 950$ in child support. The mother of his child smokes pot and parties every weekend. We ended up homeless, because I had to stop working to give birth to our baby and all his check went to the mother of his other child. Where is the justice here, he can't even see his child because she has full custody no, she took advantage of our homeless situation. Child support also destroys families.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 8th, 2016corrupted J. from Norwalk, CA writes:
Very unfair system..grandma of my son from his mom side of the family including her sister stated mother was in domestic violence relationship and constantly fighting and arguing in front of my son. Her and her boyfriend has been tested for drugs and they both tested positive. The judge didn't care to listen to what I had to say,meanwhile, mother kept on going with hear say in court. The judge reduced my visits for not letting the problem go and I kept saying the judge is being unfair,sexist and etc and she did not like that at all. Therefore I see my son once a week for one hour on mothers schedule whether I need to be at work/school or not. This all took place in Monterey Park children's court when my son was 4 months in October 2014. I was going to court for 2 years and my visits or any decisions for the best interest in him have not been made. I had no where to go or help me for my rights and the system is all pro-mom anti-dad. Till this day November 2016, I have not seen my son for any holidays, birthdays, his first crawl, walk, word, run, sit up, and it truly breaks my heart. To know I've helped bring something in this world just for a woman to have the authority and no rights as a father to do anything about it when it comes to a Mother keeping a child away from the father. To know the judges and everyone else sides with a mother instantly. This is very foul and very sickening. To hear that fathers are dead beats and their slogan is 'Another way to parent is to pay child support' so wrong so foul. I still currently need help. Please help.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 8th, 2016Juan Carlos H. from Union City, NJ writes:
It's a unfairly system.... I'm on child support and my kids always lived across the street from me.... One argument laid to her telling the judge that I'm a dead beat dad mind you my son was only 7 weeks old at the time when see put me on child support... The judge didn't want to hear my story so he just jump onto how much....REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 8th, 2016Danny L. from Fishers, IN signed.
Nov 7th, 2016Christian R. from Midland, GA writes:
Please help restore our values as fathers PLEASE!!!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 7th, 2016Someone from Tifton, GA writes:
I agree fully with this article. I am a father of three; all on child support. My kids mother is an RN who gross a lot more money than me but yet I'm ordered to pay $425 every other week. I've been struggling to make ends meet but was told by the caseworker I failed to turn in my job info when I personally took it to her myself but still she said I have to do this for three years before a review. I honestly don't know what to do and can't afford an attorney to fight this....REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 7th, 2016Someone from La Mesa, CA writes:
Totally agree with this entire write up! The system enables the mothers to lie, and be dead beats whilst hosing the father and it NEEDS to be reviewed!REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 4th, 2016Someone from Victorville, CA writes:
After carefully reading this argument I must say that this is very one sided. I agree that there are "dead beat " mothers out there just as much as there are "good" fathers out there, however it is up to the judge to make the call when both the parents can't agree to a co-parenting plan and make it work. I'm recently divorced & I could have taken my child away from the father but I know that it's better for her to have him in her life so that she can see just how he acts & that way she can make up her mind weather or not to have a relationship with him once she turns 18. I don't want to take that away from her if I don't have to. He's the one who destroyed our marriage with lies, broken promises, threats of violence not only towards me but my family as well. He takes no accountability for his actions & thinks he's done nothing wrong to pull the family apart. I suffered for over 10 years not knowing if I would be hurt if I ever left but finally found the courage to do so. Once he was told I wanted a divorce he caused an injury that will be with me for the rest of my life. He denies this too. He has no sense of responsibility yet wants to have our child in his life. He is currently unemployed & because of what happened I've been out of work & on welfare. I've been told I'll never be able to work again. I don't think that it would be fair for me to have to pay him any child support just because I end up on SSDI. He has a claim opened already on him for child support but if something changes then they could come after me. We share custody now but with things the way they are I don't know how long this arrangement will last. If a woman remarries than it is up to the father paying child support to say something, however the child support is FOR THE CHILD NOT THE MOTHER TO LIVE ON. Any money I get goes directly towards taking care of my child. He has been ordered to pay $59.00 a month & that doesn't pay for much for a growing child's needs. Shoes, clothes, school supplies, everyday needs as far as personal needs just aren't ever met even by half of what he pays in child support yet I pay for the majority of the needs of my child. How's that fair? I'm on welfare & can't work yet he's able to & can't be bothered to get a job even if it's seasonal till the job he's really going for is gotten. I'm blamed for having my child on the welfare system by his entire family & called a liar by them as well when they haven't even seen me since he caused this injury to me. I have a kind heart & didn't press charges against him because it would have done no good to do so because it would have removed her father from her life. So now I suffer with the consequence's of his actions and so does my child. Now I get no support because he stopped paying it & am left struggling to pay my bills & provide the things which my kid needs while he sits in an apartment that is being paid by someone else as well as all of his bills. Now how is that fair again?REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 4th, 2016John D. from Palm Coast, FL signed.
Nov 4th, 2016John B. from San Jose, CA writes:
I'm currently battling my ex who destroyed our marriage with 3 affairs over 3 years. While I paid for everything she worked and kept the money for herself. now she quit her job and is living with a guy who doesn't work and watches this two kids with no intention of ever return in to work. I was forced to settle and pay her alimony, child support, and her lawyer and I have my son 50% of the time and have made choices to provide a good future for him. now her greed is getting in the way of my life and ability to take care of him. No one shouldI have this kind of ability over ones finances. I've worked hard and now she is handed my money with no overwatch to ensure it goes to my son. It should be like dependant savings where she has to post receipts or how about this, have her be responsible for her life's decisions and provide for the child with her degree and teaching credential. I cannot even quit my job and am facing financial ruin from being responsible with all the bills. Also i propose a cap on child support, there is no reason I need to give over 150k over the next 13 years when on average it only takes 200k to raise a child. I take great care of my son and I am discriminated against and forced to take the brunt of the work raising him and she gets free money and to support someone else's kids.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 3rd, 2016Jonathan R. from Bronx, NY signed.
Nov 3rd, 2016Beth M. from Salem, AL writes:
Yes I most definitely agree... Men have rights as well and every day I see more women with red solo cups enjoying life to the fullest while decent men struggle to get by and the children their on support for are dressed in to little clothes and other things like this... It's sad to know that the world has come to targeting men when the woman took part as well... It takes two to make a child...REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 3rd, 2016Someone from Sayre, PA writes:
I am not sure what to do or who to go to.. I need help and I am not sure if I have any options. I had a child support hearing in April of 2016 at the Bradford county court house with special master McCoy and they came back basing my support amount on income I had in 2012. There were no changes in circumstance for this modification to occur for either of us. In 2012 I worked for the gas company and was able to travel. In December of 2012 I had a change in circumstances that is my fault. I got a DUI in NY state, I made poor decision following a separation from my sons mother (a case handled through NY, I have joint custody of him). With the DUI I lost my license and am on probation for this. I am not allowed to travel for gas work and the gas work here is dead or requires me to have a license. I got laid off from the gas company and got unemployment for a period of time. Then I started working for myself logging (this has been the family business for several generations. I have rented equipment from family members and cut timber for my cousin and a like subcontractor. I have a child with this woman who I knew very briefly I found out about her when she was around 4 years old. I was not aware at the time that this girl I met at the bar was married. When she and her spouse separated he questioned paternity and at that time it came back on me which is fine that is my responsibility. I do not have a relationship with her because she knew someone else as her father.. I had no part in any important decisions with her life and was not aware she was conceived until it came to financial responsibility. I have been paying support since that time. Her mother is remarried and has 3 other children with different dads who are also paying her. She does work at Elderwood nursing facility and this change was never reported to DRS. So I had a hearing in April of this year and they set the amount based on what I made in 2012 because they felt my earning potential was higher than what I am making at this time. I provided them with my NY support information, 2014 and 2015 income taxes and they do not feel that that is good enough. I cannot afford to pay 378 a month and 200 a month for my other child on what I am making, I was paying 200 a month and was paying this, sometimes I would get behind but I was able to catch up when work picked up again. Now they made this order in April and set it back to February.. I filed exceptions in May, I waited and waited and nothing was scheduled so I called DRS(Jarrod is my enforcement officer) several times and they stated that they were waiting to have something scheduled. Nothing was scheduled. I called and they found this in the computer but stated that I did not get an affidavit of service.. This was never offered to me when I filed. They said that they would not hear them because of this. I took a copy with prothonatary's date and time stamp to the court and then hired an attorney with borrowed funds because I was continually being called in for contempt.. I can?t afford what they set it as. My attorney had exceptions accepted to be heard, judge Williams ordered this to be heard because it was not my fault that they were not filed correctly in the court house. My exceptions were heard with my attorney present by Maureen Bierne on 9/16. 9/22 I am back in at a contempt hearing with this attorney Thompson who was yelling at my attorney when I arrived and did not discuss contempt but questioned my taxes filed by an accountant instead and questioned that the home I reside in is owned by my girlfriend. 10/6 my attorney calls and said that my exceptions were disregarded based on the filing error and stating my earning potential was higher. My earning potential at this time is what it is.. I am unable to get gas work because this is dead in the area and typically requires a driver?s license and I have tried to explain to them that I cannot travel because of the custody arrangement with my son even if probation would allow and I could get hired again. They have told me that I need to seek other employment. I have applied places and I am in need of my high school diploma or a driver?s license for anything that offers a livable wage. They will not let me file a modification based on the changes that occurred in 2012 and I have to have the arrears that I have no way of coming up with by November 8th or they are putting me in jail. I have no way of doing what they are asking of me and I simply cannot afford to pay what they have set this at 4 years AFTER I had the changes in circumstances. How is this just, right or in any way fair? Why won?t they go back to the $200 I could pay rather than taking $0 while I am in jail for something I still will not be able to pay? I feel like I am a victim of the system and am out of options. Where do I turn from here? I feel like domestic relation is biased against me with what they have done and that they will not do something that will work. My earning potential is certainly not what it was as a laborer during the gas boom. Please I will take any advice to be able to survive and do the right thing here without sitting in jail for not having as much money and the job that they think I should have. I did logging before and after gas work so actually the higher income was an oddity for me. I am so very overwhelmed with what they are putting me through.. Thank you for listeningREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelNov 2nd, 2016Someone from Lake Worth, FL writes:
My sons father took my son from me at a young age, because he cheated then founf out i moved on and bevause he was much older than me and had a friend do his case with legal aid, he won. I had nothing. I started paying childsupport but lost my job and it stopped and because he never report it that he wasn't receiving anything it just kept adding up. That was when I was 15, now I'm 31 years old with 2 sons (not his) and because he signed up for food stamps it kick up my case again and now I am 23,876 behind in arrears. They take money out every 2 weeks, he doesn't even have my son, his grandma does, I bring home about $634 a month sometimes less. Ive been crying every night for the past 3 years, and he gets my whole tax check, 401k , I can't even get health insurance for us. I've been living out of my car for and bouncing from home to home of friends and family. If this is real I will do anything anything anything to get off. My son I pay child support for has everything you can think of, because of his grandma not his father and my child support. The child support his father uses for bills at his own home. Again my son doesn't see one dime. I've called lawyers from everywhere to help me, I've even offer to sign away any and all the money I can sue him for , for lying in courts about my age, for mental abuse, for all the money he never spent on my son. Some of his family members even offer to go to court and testify against him but because I don't have anything I can't do anything. The cheapest lawyer I found to help me was $8000, that's when I knew this was something stuck with me forever. I can't buy my kids anything they want because he gets it all. I work so hard and I don't see nothing. It has been like this for 3 years now.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 31st, 2016Tavarus H. from Duluth, GA writes:
I had physical not legal custody of my Son for 2 years and still was charged for child support, and when they threatened to take her benefits she swooped in and made him come stay back with her... Needless to say my son is miserable again and slipping in school because the said mother and govt takes Power away from Fathers who want to be in thier kids lives...REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 31st, 2016Christina Z. from Easley, SC signed.
Oct 31st, 2016Joseph M. from San Diego, CA signed.
Oct 28th, 2016Clifton G. from League City, TX writes:
It's in unfair to all fathers who have to work two jobs to just get by and most of the time won't have the time to see there children because of working more hours just to live my ex-wife makes three times more then me and she is violating court orders and still gets away with it it's unfair and I hope a big change comes soonREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 28th, 2016Don R. from Plattsburgh, NY signed.
Oct 28th, 2016Thomas C. from Senatobia, MS writes:
I've been at the mercy of my ex-wife for 8 years and there's 6 more to go. In 2008, she left me for another person and took our son with her. Things weren't ideal, tempers flared, things were said, and it lead to us separating. I was young, ignorant, and living paycheck to paycheck not being able to afford a lawyer and that's still the case. For the last 8 years, I've only been able to have my son every other weekend with some time for holidays and summer. I've asked for more time even tried to force it with lawyers but no success unless I can prove she's unfit. In this time, she has cozy'd up to my family. My grandparents have given her two cars, thousands of dollars, and hired her and her new fiance to do odd jobs. This is all going on while she's getting money from me monthly. My son does not do without. I pay for his school tuition ($6k a year), I support everything he does outside of school (sports equipment/uniforms, bow for archery competitions, medical insurance along with dental and vision, and much more. But the chancery court only takes into consideration my monthly income and the 14%. They won't hear anything outside of that. So the way the system is set up to punish absent parents, punishes good parents even more. I do all of those things and they aren't considered. I'm lumped into the same group of parents who don't give a damn about their children and that's not right. His mother doesn't work, she's gotten 2 free cars from my family, and she has her own family outside of our son. I have my own family to support.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 27th, 2016Someone from Carrollton, TX writes:
i think the father should be able to live too taking half a person check is crazy ,how are we supposed to live? no one seems to care thank you PRESIDENT TRUMP for addressing this issue,everytime I set a court date they say u need a lawyer to get a reduction if I had $2500.00 for a lawyer I would not be trying to get a reduction that would mean I can payREPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 27th, 2016Tiffany W. from Adelanto, CA writes:
Stronger regulations should be implemented to ensure child support orders are only issued to biological and\or parents that sign a birth certificate. Mothers can request child support without showing proof of paternity. Waisting tax payers time and money. If people have to provide a birth certificate when a applying for something as simple as a drivers license. Why not require a birth certificate or paternity test for child support. In cases where mothers lie or dont know the paternity of their child, the child support office issues wage assignments against incorrect fathers and do not provide a refund when the mistake is discovered. This outrageous and should be illegal.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 27th, 2016David P. from Lake Arrowhead, CA signed.
Oct 25th, 2016Christy W. from Mercer Island, WA writes:
The current child support system entirely benefits the mother of said children without consideration or protection of the child's best interest. Fathers are routinely financially punished by increasing child support obligations while requiring them to pay 100% attorney fees, court costs and limiting their rights to visitation. Fathers rights have been lost in the system and we want to get this changed. Family Law overlooks mental illness and often times considers high-conflict cases to be the fault of both parents when in reality, one parent is often victimized by a mentally ill parent gaming the system at the expense of the children and father. We need reform to give fathers a voice and stop deadbeat mother's from using their children as pawns in order to effectively game the system. Our children are suffering and learning that it is ok to do nothing and take handouts without contributing to society, a dangerous and irresponsible message to teach our young. Child support obligation guidelines should protect all parties involved and directly benefit the children but as of now the guidelines fail to truly serve in the best interest of the children when the system sets them up as pawns to be used for financial gain. This is unfair to fathers and biased towards the mothers. Should single mothers (or fathers) be allowed to not work and live off child support and government assistance while the other party has to work just to pay his obligation in fear of being thrown in jail? Is it fair for some women to have multiple babies just to collect child support and not have to work? There definitely should be guidelines and stricter restrictions put on the party receiving child support benefits. How about drug testing child support recipient's? Job placement requirements? Child support obligation should be based upon; 1. The income of BOTH parties 2. The family size and obligation of both parties 3. Total child care related debt of both parties and not someone's debt based on financial ineptitude. 4. Requirement for custodial parent to maintain employment or forfeit the right to child support. 5. A cap on monthly transfer payments. 6. Documented proof of how custodial parent spends child support and/or fathers ability to collect custodial parents share of extra curricular expenses as outlined in the order of child support (similar to how DCS and WSSR enforces children's medical expense payments from both parents in Washington State).REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 25th, 2016Someone from Mercer Island, WA writes:
This is not enough to reform. Custodial parents abuse the system by limiting their income to game the system and collect more support. Additionally, custodial parents can use money however they like without proof and the child and non custodial parent suffers. There should be a cap on support payments based on the "needs" of the children and not the needs of the custodial parent. Too many custodial parents use their children as pawns and it's psychologically damaging for all involved, especially the children. Mother's who do this are sick and should be punished. Father's and children need equal advocation. We are raising emotionally abused children and it makes me sick to see heartless mothers game the system and get away with it at the mental and emotional expenses of their children.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 24th, 2016Someone from Dyess, TX writes:
Child support is rewening life's. Father particularly pay out every expense for the child whilw the mother sits back and spoils herself.REPORT COMMENTS
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No, CancelOct 24th, 2016Amanda K. from Dyess Afb, TX writes:
Recently a court ordered my husbands ex girlfriend 35% of his income for their child. We have 2 children together and the judge took out only $50 for them both.That is what they are worth to them. It is unfair. The mother has a degree and works as well as her new husband. My family is struggling just to pay this to them when they never even needed it in the first place. We barely make it. The mother alienates my husband and is a drug addict. We are unable to afford court costs or visitation with my step daughter because of this.REPORT COMMENTS
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