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Cronic pain suffer

I'm 52 years old. I Been taking pain meds since 1998. After my first transplant. The med started giving me arthritis in my joint all them. I was born with egale/ barret syndrome. I had two kidney operations. I also had 40 operations do to e/b syndrome. Club feet operation. I have x-rays of all my joint have artistic. I have back problems that come from e/b syndrome. I was born with know stumic musils. That Dr. Said later on in life if I live. I well have cronic back problems. I have it from the neck down. My pain and axiety I investergate is a direct collation of prune belly syndrome twelve yes of dyilisis two transplants 40 operations because of eagle / barret syndrome. With the meds I still hurt. I even check myself every six months by stopping the meds for three days to see if I'm gone to have withdrawal. This month when doctors and pharmacy decided not to give pain meds. It led me to get the scare. I mean I just felt all the pain by Cheaking my self. With out that meds I'm in bed hurting with pain. I have already started a will. I let people know I will be getting my self killed or I well do it. I'm having a hard time in life now. I know it's about doing away with us. But I paid my taxes and voted. I also feel cdc and doctors doing to certain people. Is this happening to law maker. Government and white people of wealth know we know. It's about cronic pain people. I'm tired of feeling like I must prove my pain to everyone even my mother. I'm tired I feel.like I got to prove my anxiety to everyone. My records show. Cdc comes out with and up dated guildlines for 2023. The slack up.on the cronic pain people. But to little to late. The doctors only read the first 2016 cdc report. So they still not giving out pain meds. Specially now they know there insurance goes down. But for me my time is up. I will dye of suicide after all these of fighting. I've died. Our government the brought this on . Things need to be done. They don't have to live like us. If they hurt. There doctor well give them what ever they went.