Unfair child support laws

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

My current husband pays his two exes to turn his kids against him. He pays faithfully But still doesn't see the kids... When the mothers turn the kids against the fathers, they shouldn't receive any child support at all... If The courts would start doing that then maybe the father would have a better chance of actually having rights to their kids. I even just let my husband claim my kids from a previous marriage to pay his arrearages but it won't change anything. Take from these kids to give to those kids, not fair at all. My husband pays so much per month that he can't even help me with the child we have together. Hire attorney and lose more money for what? His exes get warned while he's losing everything. Crappy system we have.
I have no kids. I just watch my friends dragged into the system and it is a load of b.s. that caters to liars, cheats and lazy asses. One lost her kids trying to gain full custody d/t abuse issues (and yes, both her daughters ended up molested), then had to buy her kids necessities anyway because her jerk husband spent the child support on toys and nice clothes for himself while I ended up having to call CPS before he fixed the damn house so the kids weren't sleeping in batshit on bedbug infested mattresses. Meantime she was trying to live on 10k a year because they took half her income, only saw her kids weekends, and still had to take care of their clothing, health, and school needs because he wouldn't. Another friend is currently in jail because his last jackass ex cheated on him, got pregnant by another guy, Michigan went after him because the divorce hadn't been finalized yet DESPITE proof he wasn't the father AND his ex who freely admitted he wasn't the father in court because the judge forgot to write in he wasn't responsible for back payments...when he shouldn't have even been in court in the first place, let alone held responsible. On top of that, he's currently in jail without pain meds despite a metal rod in his back, a bulging disk, and severe COPD, thanks to Michigan law not honoring the fact his child support was suspended in CA, where his adult kids lived their entire lives with a mother drawing a six figure income who refused to even honor the custody agreement because of his severe health problems. Michigan has no damn reason to put him in jail, except as a way to fill state coffers.
You don't have to be involved in the system to see it's broken beyond fixing and is only there to help vindictive asses screw their ex while making easy money for the gov. Personally, I'd like to see every judge and gov official responsible for these kind of stupid mistakes subject to the exact same punishment they meet out to their victims. Let them spend 3 months in jail like their victims do when they can't make bail and see if they aren't more careful about doing their job after.
My original order was made in NY, when my son became 18 in 2005, moved out of her home and had his own job. I stopped paying support. He moved back in a few years later and the NYSCU added the years he was gone as non payment to her child support. I had an arrearage of $3,000, now with interest, that bogus arrearage is up to over $15,000. I live in Virginia and they are only to happy to have obliged me with 60 days of jail time. I am a disabled, service connected veteran with my claim still in pending status. I sell my blood to make the weekly payments.
We as men should seek joint custody so That we can balance this machine. Please kill the Bradley amendment that Bill Clinton signed.
We as men should seek joint custody so That we can balance this machine.
I am a father who has 100% physical custody and 100% legal custody of a 6 year old boy awarded by the court system in Santa Clara County California. The mother was using meth, while I was going through the court process in Santa Clara County, California mother was in the beginning of a pregnancy . I was award custody of the older child and the mother was ordered to get clean while pregnant. The unborn child was always in question but the mother said I was not the father and had her ex-husband a convicted felon sign the birth certificate. The mother was using every free social service available to her so Child Services went after her husband for back child support to recoup their money. Mother's ex-did want to pay so the divorce was legally finalized and he submitted a paternity test to prove he was not the father. I submitted a paternity test for the child now 3 and was deemed the father in Child Support court and ordered to pay mother over 1000 in child support monthly including back child support. I support our oldest child 100% of the time and the mother with help of Santa Clara County supports my other child. The mother lives in a 4 bedroom home in a very nice area provided by the Housing Authority HUD and drives a 30,000 dollar car provided by all the kick back money from the babysitter paid by Santa Clara county while she get an education fully paid by Santa Clara County. Tina at Child support office called me yesterday and nicely threatened me that I will be thrown in jail if I don't pay them. Wow, my wages are being garnished, how am I not paying them. I'm sorry but this is so wrong! I in the process to gain time with the child to join the sibling but all I'm hearing is she's so much better now, it's all water under the bridge. I really hate this country! I want to leave! I fear for the safety of my family. I really can't believe the child I have protected and the unborn child I protected have the ability to throw me in jail because or if I had a hardship at any particular point in my life. I have spent close to $30,000 in court legal costs and I can't afford it but I did to protect my oldest son from the horrible judges and system in Santa Clara County.
How can the state take most of the fathers income in child support and make the father where he can't hardly live and the baby mother go out and buy a brand new car , I shouldnt have to support my daughter's mother needs too
I'm all for being a responsible parent. however, the laws are a bit lopsided. Especially where insurance is concerned. As the law states now. The non custodial parent must pay the monthly premiums for insurance AND half of any out of pocket copays or meds! Well, do the math. The non custodial parent is paying way more! Does this not seem wrong? If not, I'd love to hear the arguments. Please do help me understand how this can be right!
Retroactive payments along with the modification had turned into someone else house payment for a year and half for one child It gotten reported to the credit bureau so my credit score dropped from good to poor and accumulated debt. Iím in the military coming up on 8 years. Now that Iím deciding to get out to make more money cause the child support payments I can not afford and it looks embarrassing as hell to my chain of command that I can not pay my bills on time which I always been responsible to pay. I have always provided for my child even while Iím being told no by the custodial parent when I want to spend time with my child. WE NEED TO REFORM NOW CS DESTROYíS GOOD FATHERS THAT ARE AND WANT TO BE PART OF THEIR CHILDREN LIFE.
Part of the fundamental premise of America and the American constitution is the right for the pursuit of happiness. Money, Material Possessions, Status, Competition and everything surrounding Capitalism are all against my religious/spiritual beliefs

Yet I am forced against my will to teach my children that money is more important than knowledge, and money is more important than time spent with family, and buying food is better than growing it yourself, I would rather teach my children how happy life can be without debt, without someone else dictating your life, when you sleep when/what you eat, when you wake, how much time you spend away from family.

So not only are they forcing me to live a life i disagree with they are forcing me to raise my children the way they see fit. So they grow up to be slaves to the American economy instead of self-sufficient, intelligent, and Free People.
It gets worse if you live in the following states: HI, NY, MA, NJ, IL, IN, IA, MO, CA, ND, AL, OR, WA, UT, CT Whether you are married or not married, the custodial parent or the children can sue for college expenses. You can be paying child support and college tuition to age 23+

The judge can also include a car, computer, books, car insurance, college rent, and anything else as part of college expenses.

It doesnt seem to matter in most cases, whether or not one can afford college. These judges do anything to keep this TITLE IV-D scam going at the expense of the NC parent.

It not about the kids at all. These judges and the system are all about money through the TITLE IV D system. Basically using kids as their paycheck while alienating the NC parent and enslaving him/her to the state financially.

Totally sick system. It only caters to vindictive exes who want a free ride. Using kids as a paycheck while doing nothing "for the kids" makes these judges as bad as pedophiles
Already signed this letter once. My child just turned 5 and I've never seen her because I can't afford an attorney. Child support wants more than my rent payment and pretends that I make full time income when I have been building a business and only pay personal bills with nothing to spare. They put liens on all my bank accounts. I can't get credit cards, cars, houses, or anything, because my perfect credit is 599 from $20k back child support which is more than I've made in three years. They've suspended my license so I can't drive for my business. And any income I make outside of the llc, it's taxed, then like 40-60 percent is taken for back pay. She filled a bogus restraining order to try to keep me out of the picture so she could try to convince some other guy it was his kid, because she said I wasn't Christian enough to raise a kid. She makes three times more than I do and lives with her mom. This is not right! Once a DNA test proves you are the father, you should have equal custody unless otherwise agreed, unless you have repeated convictions of child abuse, drugs, or violence. Children deserve to know who their father is.
The laws need changed to protect the non custodial parent that is not a deadbeat to not live in poverty from overpayment of support.
every issue that I have with child support has already been addressed by those before me I want the abolishment of child support
Hello AGAIN,
I think this makes my fourth appearance.
And for what it is worth, I just wasn't everyone to know you are not alone.
Wow 18000 letters sent....and what have we accomplished. I can say I've received letters from my elected officials.
Those letters told me how much my issues matter. And I'm appreciated! But they never mentioned what could be, or would be done.
I recall one letter from a senator, told me in closing that they could not do anything because this was a state matter and their hands were tied concerning these issues.
That made me feel really good about how little an issue we have.
Why I think we should get a petition started to give all the politicians we pour our hearts out too a day of recognition.
After all, if it wasn't for them we wouldn't be involved trying to get attention for this situation.
That's right! Lawyers, Prosecuting Attorneys, Child Services.
I'm quite certain at one point in the illustrious careers of our esteemed politicians careers they have rubbed shoulders with the like.
But none are willing to take up the fight.
It's always pass the buck. Darn that was a pun not intended.
When did the statute of limitations run out on the truth? Isn't that what we are asking for?
A little truth regarding facts when calculating and administering child support laws?
I know, I know, everybody has a busy schedule and can't be bothered by another persons hardships. Seriously it's just a persons life and the relationship that person has with their children.
I mean isn't the system working just fine now?
We have non-custodial parents being driven into lives with inflated balances due. Can't see the kids cause the other parent doesn't allow.
Yes the system is working!!!
Even the Child Support office, having contact information for the child, won't give it out. Flawless.
If the purpose of this whole support system was made to alienate parents from their children and create indentured slaves to the State, then yes the system is working.
I for one, can't wait till enough have had enough and make a change.
A change based on truth, accountability, and respect for another's rights as a parent.
Till then I will make my inflated payments, (30%) over what should be paying. And continue to search for my son. Whom I have not seen in seven years, thanks to Child Services.
Hats off to the system, NOT!!!
Living nightmare is alI I can say a law that steals from hard working fathers. I never understood how parents got behind on child support till I got divorced. Paid her house off paid car off paid all her credit cards off and paid 500 month for child support for joint custudy. Now after 3 years remarried whith 3 step kids that live with us full time only one father pays 200 a month. The other fathers will not pay child support and have no intention too. So I get took back to court after being in debt from divorce. I worke 70 hrs a week the judge orders my support to increase from 500 to 1756 a month which more than tripled I can no longer pay my bills of support my family do to this law it's so unfair. I am facing having to file bankruptcy or a divorce and loosing everything. Step children are not concerned when figuring child support even though they may live with you full time and you are paying for there needs it don't count. So now my wife can't get support from me not her ex that want pay nor can she apply for food stamps because of my pay being over the limit so her only option is divorce me or support them her self . There should be a set amount you can raise child support I get a 3% raise a year she gets over 150% increase this law is NOT FAIR!!!!!
I believe the law shoulld automatically give fathers who are paying child support the same rights as a mother by law. Mothers should not be able to up and move from State to state collecting support without permission from the father or other party. Both parents in my opionion should split the support of the child for the year. 6 months the father pays and 6 months the mother pays. Joint custidy should be automatic unless one party doesn't agree to do it. Each parent shoud be allowed to have the opportunity to have their child living with them for 6 months out of the year.
Some women dont stay at home they earn as much or more than men like my ex yet im paying $1000. For one child, yet the laws still decides that their well being is more important than yours. I have my oldest son living with me yet they still didn't care for his financial struggle living with me. The Amendment talks about equal protection yet our meaning men, civil rights are violated and discriminated upon daily the opressed has become the opressors.....
my child support is around $1000 a month but my ex holds all unpaid medical bills for months on end then mail's them to me and two weeks later I'm notified of court for contempt because I have not paid her this is on going every 6 months she does not go along with court orders but no repercussions on her have ever happened I have not seen my kids in two years because of unfair child support and visitation practices in this state
The mother of my child whom im on child support for was locked up all of last year..the child has been with me for two in a half years now..when she was teleased she filed the child on her taxes illegally & recieved a tax refund...she hasnt maintained a steady job in seven years..all i do is work my fingers to the bone!! When i got ready to file IRS informed me that they had already been filed & i needed to show proof of custody in order to get my refund..i p them with the information & was notified t that i would receive my refund...instead i was notified
This is at least a start in correcting the corrupted CS system. I know it's a long ways but at least our voices are now being heard. This has an urgent deadline by Friday, so please read and follow the steps even if you aren't a parent. Forward this to everyone!

I pay 700 dollars a month+maintain insurance+ pay 74% of medical bills for 1 child I will end up paying her close to $120,000!I feel overtime should not count as its not always a giving, they should do net and not gross, and if nothing else they could at least let the paying parent write child support off on their taxes! I also feel like after the kid starts school it should be 50/50 custody right down the middle! If you can't agree on nothing hire a mediator!
This child support system is so screwed up! It's bad when a 42 year old man has to move back in with his mother cause child support, and all the medical, dental, and vision etc. is so much that you can't afford to live on your own. Not to mention car payments and car insurance that u also need to pay so u can get to work but as soon as u can't pay they wanna take your license! It's a damn shame when u can't see your kids who live 45 minutes away cause u only have enough money in your budget for gas to drive back and forth to work living check to check cause its all you can do. My daughters mother lives in a nice house, goes on vacations and now going to school which none of this was done before and if she's using her own money more power to her but I doubt that cause when I talk to my kids they always need money for something and when I ask where is the child support it is being spent on something or someone else! IT'S MY CHILDRENS SUPPORT NOT YOU AND YOUR OTHER FAMILY SUPPORT!!!!
I have a son that is 17 this yr and all ready has two kids and he can't be considered an adult yet I think colorado laws need to look at the big pic and make where the men can afford things to. So my understanding the mon works and then gets my money so she makes more then me I think if a kid has a kid at 14 15 or what ever age child support should end and also 18 yr
I live in South Carolina and have been paying child support for a little over a year now. Ever since I started paying child support, I have been unable to see or even talk to my daughter. Not even a month after I started paying, I found out my ex had moved my daughter 4 hours away from me without even letting me say goodbye. I try every week to contact my ex through phone and text messaging. She wouldn't even answer on my daughter's birthday or on christmas. The state of South Carolina needs to fix their problems. The justice system in this state is a joke and hasn't changed in years. They don't consider anyone's well being, and are only in it for greed. $300 a month is alot to pay for someone else's bills cause I know damn well that money doesn't go to my daughter. Not to mention the court doesn't do any investigating into who the child is living with. My ex is now engaged to someone I don't know, therefore I don't know if my daughter is in danger or anything. And as for the courthouses, it's 2015, why don't any of the courthouses have a way where you can pay child support by credit/debit card over the phone?! I live almost an hour from my local courthouse, I can barely afford insurance, how can they expect us to drive that far if we already fork out a ton for child support. Bottom line, I'm stressed out, I have gained a ton of weight, I'm tired from working so damn much, and there are days where I consider giving up to find a way where my ex's new husband or whatever he is will adopt my daughter. This country needs to get off its high horse and actually do something about its justice system, before we all rebel against it!
This is so unfair to working or non-working fathers. I understand the system makes money off of the paying parent. So, they are only interested in receiving their money- then the kids\moms\parent. This is bias and unfair treatment... On top of that we are paying taxes on money we do not have... That don't sound fishy to you... You cannot file your child- if the parent don't want you to see her child- best believe you will not see that child... Make it fair to everyone involve- We (men) didn't do this alone and should not be our responsibility alone. Why do men have to pay 75% and the mothers pay 25% UNFAIR!!!!!!
It is actually TAX FREE MOMMIE SUPPORT. No accounting or actual receipts kept or any real responsibility for caring for the kids. DEAD BEAT MOMIE has "Money to party on" now?. While the father suffers extreme poverty.. SLAVERY IN AMERICA.. The father has to pay the full tax burden on the money he doesn't have. If he were able to deduct the amount of so called "Child Support" there may not be as many in default? He becomes too poor to fight while the money he pays fights against him. >Good faithful fathers who have done anything wrong are suffering the extreme unfairness of the bias and unfairness of the court systems. When a man's whole life is his family and then it is taken away then he does not much for them to keep going on or to live for. Their health goes down and are unable to afford any care and many just commit suicide.
There is nothing fair when you are paying child support - male of female. The courts side with the primary custodial parent, and do not recognize anything other than that. I am female and have split custody of my children. My ex-husband decided not to abide by the terms of the custody agreement without any reprimand from the court, yet I continue to pay in excess of $500.00 per month. He makes three times my income in addition to cash under the table, but comes across as the sole parent which is not the case. Attempting to correct this indignity is impossible due to prejudice within the system. Something needs to be changed with this horrific and racial process. Just because you pay child support does not make you a bad person nor should it put us in a class of it's own.
Maybe if we all ban together our voices will be heard.
"Women have the right to have an abortion. Men don't. Women have a right to decide NOT to be a mom, Men don't. Women have the right to leave a child at the police station or hospital. Men don't. Women have the right to deny visitation of a child. Men don't. Where's the equality?? " i absolutely agree. I have a son hes 19 and a baby on the way. 2 different dads. My sons father was a deadbeat. My new baby's dad works full time for us because i lost my job due to pregnancy and we are barely getting by. He just got served child support papers from a 1 night stand in 2010. The other woman told after the baby was 2 and a half about the pregnancy and told him she wanted nothing and didn't want him around because she was engaged and had a rich man. Now suddenly she's asking him for all kinds of support which is about to put our family on the street. The law is unfair. Take care of one child throw another on the street? Wtf. Women that trick men into pregnancy or dont tell them about the children it isnt fair to anyone. The men have no say
I am the wife of a non custodial father who is trying to have child support withdrawn from his check after finally locating his twin boys. The mother will not provide her address for us to start an order for support nor will she provide the socials for us to add the boys to our insurance. Every form we've found to petition the courts for the supply was only for the custodial parent to attempt to locate the other. We are the ones attempting to locate and support the children. The child support application only gives non custodial parents the options to modify an order (which we don't have bc we are trying to start one) or establish paternity (which as we understand had already been done). Where is the application\form to just support the children bc we want to support? Is there no non custodial help out there? Is it this one sided?
My boyfriend has to pay child support to his ex-girlfriend and she won't even get a job. She said a job is to much work. She also won't even let him see his son and yet she doesn't even have him half of the time. She drops him off at her friend's house so she can sit on her*****doing nothing. How is it fair that he is paying child support and yet its not even going to his child and she is keeping him from see his son!
I've been paying child support for 7 years now. My son mother hasn't worked for the whole time I've been paying child support which is 7 years . She plays lots of games wit my finances meaning she will petition me to come to court and when we get there in front of the judge she will forget paper work on purpose so that she can collect more arrears. It's just not fare at all and I hope things will change for the better in the near future because this child support system is unfair. ..and she at an advantage knowing that she can get away wit it and no consequences is gonna come her way.
My ex is a college educated woman with multiple degrees, yet hasn't had a job in 3+ years due to drug habit. My support gets raised every time I try to advance my career. She has a much better earning potential than myself but chooses to do nothing. Why is it the fathers responsibility to pay for the woman's irresponsibly?
my husband and i are in our 50s his child is in her 30s and living on her own cs has for the last 15 some yrs taken his drivers license which he needs to work and constantly summons him to court over hundreds of miles away or go to jail so whether he can afford to make the trip or not he is required to or have a warrant for his arrest..they do not care that these expenses and ordering him too pay large amounts of money to them that we do not have i try hard and work to support us and barely stay afloat at this rate we will be living in a cardboard condo soon all because of some 30000.00 he owes in arrears and penalties not back child support., if they put him in jail were does that leave me alone without help from husband to pay what bills we have and ruin our lives.
I know of moms right now that are sitting at home getting Child Support and driving a new car, and the child is going with and the dad can go to prison for not paying, that's not right.
This is an issue that can't be ignored anymore.

At the time if the order I was making just over $1200, I was ordered to pay $600 pee month and I was already paying $200 per month in medical for my son. That left me with $400 to live on. This is completely out of control. I play an active role in my childs life, but because she wanted to end a marriage and run back home, she gets that handed to her.
This is an issue that can't be ignored anymore.

At the time if the order I was making just over $1200, I was ordered to pay $600 pee month and I was already paying $200 per month in medical for my son. That left me with $400 to live on. This is completely out of control. I play an active role in my childs life, but because she wanted to end a marriage and run back home, she gets that handed to her.
It is already unfair that 20% is taken out of each check . if you would have us pay child support the amount should go up and down during the year like I pay $500 a month my child doesn't need that every month especially if he is with me days out the month so why can't it be I pay $500 this month and a $100 the next month cause we as men have our own lives as well and own apartment's and cars. We would have our own problems as well financially school debt car payments anything could be happening and then that's just on top of when you get your child you still got to spend money on him/her when you get him/her. All in all if you can cut back on public aid because you know people aren't trying to work and just take other people money then you can do the same with child support. And I also got other methods to make child support better because what's going on now is ridiculous.
Child Support should only be considered a option, nothing to exciting in this day of age. Hate crimes over turn the interests of parenting without establishing relationship bond with your potential spouse for most cases that are disputed. I believe in women to choose the rite decision each time she decides to have a baby and I believe in Men to choose the rite decision each time he decides to have a baby. Child support isn't based on fact, it's just principle.
My ex lives off the state and stays at home doing nothing but taking care of the child. She lives off of others and takes money. How can people get away with this crap. I mean this is rediculous. They need to get off of there*****and do something to besides get puked on and pooped on and talked back to. Try physical labor and busting you*****instead of claiming u bust*****when you never do. Idc if your a male or female get up, grow up, and show some of your own income for once instead of living off of others taxes and stealing money from people who cannot afford it.
I work hard and watch my kids every other week, and she dont do anything. She dont work. I do so much more than her and she still wants more money so she dont have to wirk. Why r men alway having it harder?
Child support destroys the lives of thousands of willing fathers . It has became the most lopsided disadvantage. All men are not deadbeat dads and should not be punished while the women sit and live off of our hard work.
I think its unfair to get locked up when u help out and when you get out you have three weeks to find a job or they will put a bench warrant on you.I stay in Greenville SC its hard down here because of the economy people say they are not hiring making it hard for us.especially when you have a job they still lock you up.Things need to change we as good parents are missing out of our kids lives because of the court system they need to be in our shoes and experience it
In my case it's me who pays child support to a no good lazy ex husband. My son was old enough to decide who he wanted to live with so my ex-husband brainwashed him onto turning his back on me. As a result I am paying child support to a man for a child that is a 20 years old. The father doesn't work and hasn't for. 6 years. He is not disabled he just calls himself a writer who writes books no one buys. Why doesn't someone start a petition to change the laws to lower the age that child support should stop? In Mississippi it is. 21 which is an age that the child should already be on there on. Also, what about a law that says that the court or DHS has to stop treating the paying parent like a deadbeat. The system treats all child support paying parents like we are deadbeats trying to get out of paying our part. Even when we pay regularly and on time. Why can't we claim the payments on our taxes? The custodial parent gets to claim the child on there's do we should get to claim the payments we make. The system is biased on favor of the custodial parent.
I was laid off for an entire year from two thousand and thirteen til two thousand and fourteen until October landing a part time , I have work majority of my life . Being laid off was out of my control after working for an employer for seventeen years, so not able to get employment right away, I decide to return to college to get a better career among that eventually got a part time job. Now child support guideline in Connecticut want to base my part time salary on fourty hour a week as the obligor biweekly. If the magistrate put this order in affect the custodial parent income will be much greater than mine who has not work in twenty years . Where I would only take home about two hundred and fifty dollars a month while her income soares too over twenty five hundred dollars a month my two children are fourteen , and attend school all day. It is hard for me to obtain an adequate house hold; also, to live . When attending court her income does not even matter; furthermore, she do not even have to be their. This burden of rule is an consciousness confirmation bias . I know congress need to revise the percentage too a lower amount in this rough economic time.
I believe the government should stay out of people's business. No one should have to make another pay for child support. I honestly believe this will put a halt to trifling gold digging women, who's sole purpose is to lay on her back and get paid
It is crazy that i work night shift and literally have all 3 of my kids more than my ex, but because she has them over night, she gets the credit for the support calculation. The calculation should be flexible enough to not punish a parent financially who gives equal care for their children.

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