Unfair child support laws

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

My husband was VERY behind in support due to the courts not pausing his support obligations while incarcerated. It has taken him 14 years but he is finally caught up. The court has yet to release him from obligation to pay for his youngest child due to her "disability" and "incompetence" as per her mother's word. She does have a physical disability but is not so disabled she could not work with reasonable accommodations. Did I mention she is also 21 years old and in our state 19 is the emancipation age? Also that my husband was told he would likely pay support until he dies? This young woman also just gave birth to a baby at the end of January 2015. Please do tell me how someone who is too disabled to work and too incompetent to care for themselves is going to consent to have sex, get pregnant, give birth and raise a child? We go back to court next Wednesday but I'm guessing it will be the same ridiculousness all over again. They also continue to pull extra money for the arrears from his paycheck even though his tax offsets covered more than what he owed. He was told it will not be refunded to him as it is considered a gift, even though he has no choice in paying it as it is auto-withdrawn from his check each week. It just isn't right. I am all for men and women paying support, being active in their child(ren)'s lives but when it comes to extremely high support obligations, so much so that they can't live on their own or support the family they've got in addition to these children yet the custodial parent is living high on the hog and receiving government assistance something is certainly rotten in this nation.
My husband pays an overwhelming amount in child support to a previous wife for one kid. Him and I now have 3 kids together...why would the system NOT take into account how many OTHER kids he has to support in his marriage????
Recently had my EX file to raise support, which I was never officially notified of through the court system, and rose my support by 80% over what the original order was for. The day after this happens she closes on her new custom built home, while I am about to file bankruptcy, something is not right.
I have 3 kids custody of 1 of the 3 and my girlfriend has 3 kids from her previous marrige I support all of her kids as well as pay child support on 2 of mine from my previous marriage. The child support system has brought me to the brink multiple times and I've seen many men just up and stop working and become homeless as more then half there pay checks go to child support why work to be a slave. US men pay more money in child support because the woman chooses not to work . Me myself have struggled to provide for my family now.i got layer off from a job making 27.00 an hour the only work I could get after that was a job making 18.00 an hour and after child support came out of the new checks it was hardly anything they refuse to go off my new wages and won't review it for 6 months so my family that I take care of on top of my own goes without .and the mother of my kids does not work just gets paid from 3 kids child support and does quite well why I struggle my butt off trying to put food on the table
Child support is noy used to support the children it is a vicious control the government gives to women . A man was not the only one who made the child women should be held accountable as well. Its not a game it is a baby not a paycheck these women were not forced to have sex then why should a man be forced to pay child support allows the women to play the victim poor me poor me I have all these kids I need support but birth control is free. Women think oh Im the one that got pregnant he did this to me no you did that to yourself by not protecting yourself before you layed up with a man. And for the government to regulate on the bad choices of a women is wrong there should be no child support or if there must be have the women save all receipts to prove the money went for the child directly and not for her needs I have personally known women who have said lets go out i got my child support check. Child support is a violation of a mans right.
Yet another case of abusive power by the courts. I moved to SC to support work and a career. My wife didn't like it in SC and moved back to her home state of OH. It was suppost to be temp. while she attended higher education. Instead she filed for the divorce. I have been paying what I can for 20+ months now. First orders were my entire paycheck plus cover her bills. Second orders were 50% of my check and cover all her bills. This is where it remains as the final trial has been presented 4 months ago. At trial I addressed arrearage and proved expenses to remain in SC to support WORK. Yet somehow the court continues to overlook that fact I must live to provied support. The expenses to remain employed in SC is over 50% of my income. So naturally CSEA is all over me for failing to comply with the court orders - even the temp. ones. At some point I will be forced out of work and sadly I don't care anymore.
It's time to change the LAWS and hold the mother accountable also. Support laws are way behind time and someone needs to do something about it.
Just got handed down a child support payment that overnight bankrupts me. We argued the case well but the judge didn't care and awarded my ex $720 per week based on a salary in which I don't make. I own a business and get a guaranteed draw of roughly 79k per year. If the business makes money then me and my partners take profits, If it doesn't, then we do not. They gave me a salary based on 169k of which I do not actually earn so I have to pay in accordance to that which is insanity. I must now sell my home, Vehicles, and many other personal belongings to make ridiculous payments or go to jail . The system is so totally broken that it needs to be burnt to the ground and rebuilt from the floor up. Meanwhile , my ex who is severely mentally ill , took off in the middle of the night with my kids now is receiving 40k per year tax free and has absolutely no incentive to go back to work as a rn. What a joke!!
Im in a situation thats is like most dads she will get over 700 a month about one check a month. Im not going to able to get by anymore. I have a newborn now with my wife and she cant work as my child was born with a cleft lip and palate. She stood up on the and lied in front of the court .so I didnt get custody and got screwed. I work at least 55 hours a week. I dont know how to get by now.the system is not fair. There is no equality in visitation or child support. Why screw the man that does not fall in the deadbeat catagory. Texas you did me wrong and I will probably now fall into really poor. She sits at home popping kids out and collecting money milking the system for benefits.
My child support was charged based off a made up amount of money a sitter was paid. My pay is automatically deducted from any employment I obtain without any question. My kids are now in school while she works and pays no child care while I am still charged for daycare that does not even exist.
I feel something should be done about the collection process. I have been on both sides. If the parent is making the monthly payment they should not be charged the interest rate. and there should be a tax break for the payments. you take both state and federal taxes from the payer and get nothing. you should not be allowed to take all. what if they have another family to provide for. the laws are more then unfair to the payor.and welfare don't pay you enough to get all that interest that they are claiming.
SOMETHIONG NEEDS TO BE DONE ...NOW
Women use sex,kids as an income !! After my ex found out she was pregnant she kicked me to the curb. When I got the letter for DNA there was more to be tested then just ME !!!!
Is it me or is the calculation of Child Support seems idiotic? I understand if I make $60, ex makes $40, I'm responsible for 60% of the support, I even understand that with us making $100 together, we would spend about $20 on the kids... In this example, I'm responsible for $12, ex responsible for $8... BUT why is it instead of giving you 1/2 of the difference, $2 or even the entire difference, $4... we are giving full $12??? That would assume we NEVER have the kids at all... So... who's paying the "support" of the kids when we have our parenting time?
It is not right and time has change. Stop allowing women to use kids as a tool for a way of life. Hold them responsible financially for the child as well. Bad enough the non custodial parent are usually not able to see the kids as much. Lets make a change!!!!!
im hardly making ends meet as im paying $ 890 dollars a month in child support making 14.25 an hour and my x works full time making 13.50 they are taking 50 percent of my pay as my x is riding around in a brand new car and saying thank you for my birthday present i just got a new tattoo our child support laws are corrupt and you don't care about our expense or if we live in a shelter home as long as you get your money you minds well say im making 7.12 an hour with the 50 percent reduction who can survive off that
I went to a class called fatherhood the people were real rude the counselor or the teacher did not show up on the first day I set there for 2 hours and nothing happened they showed us a movie with the president talking about child support everything that they promised did not come to pass they lied in the courts they said this would help improve our financial situation and be closer to our children that was another trick they said they would take off some of the child support and they never did who's fooling who why the court sit back and collect administration feeswow what a rackettook days off to find out I could not get into none of their classes because I did not qualifyfor the so called grants they promised we could have to go to a trade school to up our skill thanks child support
I pay 30,000 a year child support 5 cases I petition the court time and time again and they don't look at the big picture they just say they want what they want or go to jail I moved to another state from Cleveland to make more money and now I have interstate cases filed for divorce in new state and judge did not recognize other cases additional 700 a month
As a non-custodial parent my child support payment was set unaccurately. As a result of their mistake my family has had poor quality of life while my ex-wife recieved almost 50% of my income. My 1 year old son struggles to eat so I can give most of my money to a very wealthy ex-wife. The system should be more of a personal case by case basis and not so much opposing the non-custodial parent and assuming they are a bad person. I see my daughter 3 days a week every single week. The logic behind the system is severely flawed and it's not fair to men.
I've been drowning in arrears for 5 years and can't afford a lawyer to fight my ex. I pay 750 a month for a 7 year-old girl. My life is over for the next 10 years if i can't fix this soon.
I miss my daughters, every night that I go to sleep I have anxiety attacks knowing nothing about my girls. Let me explain, I was with a girl we fell in love she did not like it in this country of mine so I grab the little that I had and went to Mexico with her for a new life, I couldn't find work of course and the relationship ended with an FU. When I was back I PA I got back with an ex and started planning a family. 1 yr later my ex's pos up saying she has my child and reason she didn't notify me is because she saw I had another child and kept it moving. So now I have two daughters and can't see them because there on game mode on who do I love more. I dont even see or have seen them in years and it has not been easy, I am an alcoholic and have stopped drinking two years ago but I stil smoke weed because I suffer from depression, insomnia and anxiety. Some days I want to kill myself because I wish I wasn't a worthless man who can't be there for his girls. I can't fight for custody because I can't afford and the system says I make to much money for help, which is bull because the system can take 55% of my check and leave me with shit. I am forced to sell drugs and am currently on probation for a second DUI from 5 years ago. I could go to jail for the rest of my life if caught but OK with that because I can't live right knowing I am bad father who cant support himself. I tried therapy but the prescription drugs they gave me made me more mentally I'll. This how much I suffer, I hope someone cares before another good willing man falls victim to this messed up system. The only thing I want is equality in the system, understand how much we pay in rent food and living coast, electric heat car payments insurance, health coverage, and clothes to look like decent human beings, and be able ti see our children, i would even do third party visitations i just want to be able to interact with my girls and let them know there father is trying, I'd stay sober from everything for that. Give me another chance to live, please let me redeem myself before my daughters end up in the wrong place with the wrong people.
I am a 27 year old father of a 6 year old girl. I have put off my responsibility to pay for my child for the last 5 years. I have always been a part of my daughters life and spent at least half the time with her. just recently I started to try and get my life together. A hard trial since I neglected so many bills in my pass but I pulled up my breaches and got to work. I went to court and got the child support to an amount that I can pay on my minimum wage job. I actually had them reduce it by $20 because I was struggling. my arrears was $72 now its $52. a week later I go to my bank which I just recently opened an account to make it easier to pay bill, to get a cashiers check to pay off my monthly payment to traffic court another bill Im trying to make up to get my license back. Only to find that child support levied my account which my bank charged me $75 for that more than the original arrears payment, I only had $17 in that account, so I called them and asked why they did it, they said they have to right to levy each bank account I have 4 times a year, even though Im making monthly payments. then my boss gets a letter from child support to have him garnish my wages, he refused because im already making payments, so they threatened to take him to court. I guess he's going to court. Oh and I might add that after I made my first payment with the reduced amount child support calls me and says that they know the judge reduced it by $20 for the next 6 months but in order for them to release my license im still going to have to pay the full amount. They just went around what the judge ordered. Child support should not be above the law, they should honor the court order and if the person is paying the set amount they should leave them alone and cease from hassling them.
I am a 27 year old father of a 6 year old girl. I have put off my responsibility to pay for my child for the last 5 years. I have always been a part of my daughters life and spent at least half the time with her. just recently I started to try and get my life together. A hard trial since I neglected so many bills in my pass but I pulled up my breaches and got to work. I went to court and got the child support to an amount that I can pay on my minimum wage job. I actually had them reduce it by $20 because I was struggling. my arrears was $72 now its $52. a week later I go to my bank which I just recently opened an account to make it easier to pay bill, to get a cashiers check to pay off my monthly payment to traffic court another bill Im trying to make up to get my license back. Only to find that child support levied my account which my bank charged me $75 for that more than the original arrears payment, I only had $17 in that account, so I called them and asked why they did it, they said they have to right to levy each bank account I have 4 times a year, even though Im making monthly payments. then my boss gets a letter from child support to have him garnish my wages, he refused because im already making payments, so they threatened to take him to court. I guess he's going to court. Oh and I might add that after I made my first payment with the reduced amount child support calls me and says that they know the judge reduced it by $20 for the next 6 months but in order for them to release my license im still going to have to pay the full amount. They just went around what the judge ordered. Child support should not be above the law, they should honor the court order and if the person is paying the set amount they should leave them alone and cease from hassling them.
I currently pay $1,790.00 a month and am left with a whopping $650 a month! Part of the deduction is because I also cover medical for my children which comes out. After the support hearing, "mother" (who works fulltime and now nets over $3,000 a month) posts several new tattoos, new diamond jewelry ordered and a vacation booked 5 months in advance....while I, as the father, will never have the oppertunity to take my children on a vacation. I will have to struggle to just give them any form of a Christmas or birthdays. Why should the father not be able to have a decent life with his children while "mother" lives on easy street?!
Retroactive
I totally understand that I need to contribute to the financial well being of my kids. However, my ex wife lives a life of luxury while my life is ruined living below the poverty level. I am treated like an atm machine. My ex racks up up big medical bills and I am forced to pay them without any warning. Child support is one of the last debtor's prisons other than the irs. The system is broken. Child support should go on a special card that can be tracked and only be used for the children, the person who pays should get a deduction, and there should be rules about ex spouses racking up big bills. Lastly there needs to be better accountability to ensure that ex spouses that abuse the system No longer get away with it.
Although I agree with supporting my children financially, but the system that is place is broken. I make good money but I see less than half of my gross income. I am struggling just to get by with two jobs. Everything my children and I do have to be for free or really cheap. I eat Ramon noodles at home when they aren't here if I eat at all. This needs to change.
If I dont pay I go to jail or have my license taken. If the mom spends all the money on drugs or casinos or getting her hair done and doesnt spend a dime on the child the courts dont care. This makes no sense if the over all goal is to provide for the kids because the only one the courts truly inforce in the situation is the person paying child support.
I think there is more to it I have had my daughter half or. More of the tie and still have. To pay
My son is a single dad and gets $0. in child support because she claims to be mentally ill getting SSI and that prevents her from having to pay him, so she doesn't give him a dime, the first 6 years she was in jail, that was explainable but the past 9 years she won 1/2 custody of the kids which she never sees them or supports them in any way, even ignoring their birthdays. yet she has shared custody. System sucks both ways. Fortunately my son is a hard working loving dad.
My wife and I got a divorce and I got half custody of our kids. I still have to pay 240 a week. My ex wife lied to the child support agency that I did not pay her child support while our divorce was in process. My lawyer had told me to pay her child support with money orders so, I did that. When everything got settle she told child support I neveer paid her. So, the agency contacted me and said that I should have paid it to Austin and not to her. My proof of money orders where not good enough. Now, they hold my income tax due to pass due. I owed her around 2000 now it shows I'm 12,000 behind. I don't understand how that is possible. They withdraw every week the amount that is suppose to drawn out but some how I'm still behind. Not only does she get 240$ a week I have them half a year now, she's getting my income tax. Now, tell me what's wrong with our system!!
It seems to be a win win for cheating spouses, who not only take most of your hard earned income, bit also keep your children from you without consequence. Yet i can face jail time, and have my passport revoked. So not only does it pay for being a cheat, and a liar, it is rewarded. The new version of indentured servitude. What happened to the women's movement for which they claimed to be equal? Anyway.
One "woman" has 3 kids ..... each child has a different father... only one father is on child support.. happens to be me. ...but why is she not required to sign up the second child's father for child support. And why does the government not ask about the new third father salary that lives with her? Taxpayers are now involved in raising children cause their mothers can't. ?
Women should be accountable that the money is being used for the child. These laws need to be changed..
State of MA is redic. The woman I was seeing became pregnant and decided to keep the child knowing that I did not want a child or be part of any custody. She now gets an additional 24k annually directly out of my paycheck. Something has to be done.
My fiance(a medically retired amputee veteran) is going to have to pay a third of the money we get each month to his ex for their child who we moved across the country to be near. She has no job and because of that we pay more than if she did. Currently, without any child support factored in, we can not afford to support our lives with our 9 month old son. She will get to sit around doing nothing while we are working our butts off just to survive.
This needs to be a new requirement. Many women do this, not all. There is many good mothers and fathers out there. I am personally tired of paying for my kids mother to sit and not work. I have no problem supporting my child, but there needs to be a requirement for the other parent, mother or father to also work.
I do it all on my own and have been since my kids were born and that will never change. l took full custody of my kids because of unfit fathers ....SINGLE MOM RIGHT HERE
There are great fathers in the world but the system doesn't give them any opportunity. Don't let a few bad fathers ruin it for the great fathers. Each parent should contribute to their child's needs. Fathers should not have to take care of the mother & all Her financial burdens because she decides not to work. Taking so much of the father's earnings leaving them with so little to care for themselves or other children. There has to be a better & fair way for all!
What an awful shame. As a mother with an active father in my children lives, irregardless of our relationship, this is sad to read. Both parents should provide support. Usually women go after child support due to how the man personally treated her. I believe that if there an agreement and the man is providing don't be so quick to put him on papers. Your the parent as well what portion are you providing?

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