Unfair child support laws

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

Child support is not fair by any means to good man that are willing to take care of their responsibilities ! I myself is on child support .
I tried to get my child support modified, because i'm disabled , and it got denied .
I was married for 16 years...was a good father and loyal husband...my wife left me for another man when I was making 28 thousand dollars a year. Then filed for divorce on the same month I lost my job. We had a divorce agreement that we would not sue each other for any type of support after we divorced and we have 50/50 custody. She wanted our sons to live in the house they grew up in but refused to live in the house effectively making me buy the house. The boys wanted to stay in the same school district. We separated our assets and I bought her out of her half of the house. But due to the housing market being so bad the house did not appraise at what she thought it should and was upset that she should have gotten more money. In the meantime between the time she separated with me and divorced me....after I lost my job...I clawed my way back found a good job but which is two hours from my home but I commute when I have my kids, got them health insurance and maintain a sense of normalcy with keeping them close to their friends. I got served with papers for children support today. I called my ex-wife when I asked why she would do such a thing she told me that it is because she did not get enough money from the house settlement. I asked her if I would have given her 5000 dollars more than what she got out of the settlement she would not be asking for support. So I asked for clarification....if I would give her 5000 dollars she would not take me to court for child support?. She said yes....effectively using the system to blackmail me. She left me for another man when I was making a certain amount of money filed papers on me when I was unemployed. Now I have the kids 50% of the time, I live in the same school district that they attend school at. she does not but she is claiming that the reside with her only...she is able body and can work and the boys are 16 and 14 and pretty much can take care of themselves. Where is the justice in this. situation.
I was married for 16 years...was a good father and loyal husband...my wife left me fir another man when I was making 28 thousand dollars a year then filed for divorce when on the same month I lost my job. we had a divorce agreement that we would not sue each other for any type of support after we divorced and we have 50/50 custody. She wanted our sons to live in the house they grew up in but refused to live in the house effectively making be buy the house. The boys wanted to stay in the same school district We separated our assets and I bought her out of her half of the house. But due to the housing market being so bad the house did not appraise at what she thought it should and was upset that she should have gotten more money. in the meantime between the time she separated with me and divorced me....after I lost my job...I clawed my way back found a good which is two hours from my home but I commute when I have my kids, got the m health insurance and maintain a sense of normalcy with keeping them close to their friends. I got served with papers for children support today...when I asked why she would do such a thing she told me that it is because she did not get enough money from the house settlement. I asked her if I would have given her 5000 more than what she got out of the settlement she would not be asking for support. So I asked for clarification....if I would give her 5000 dollars she would not take me to court for child support. She said yes....effectively using the system to blackmail me. She left me for another man when I was making a certain amount of money filed papers on me when I was unemployed. Now I have the kids 50% of the time, I live in the same school district that they attend school at. she does not but she is claiming that the reside with her only...she is able body and can work and the boys are 16 and 14 and pretty much can take care of themselves. Where is the justice in this. situation.
need to lower the child support can't live on what i have left after
The child support money paid by non custodial parents to custodial parents robs educational savings from other parent. Makes non-custodial parent poorer by making them pay 25% after tax money in case of Texas.
I have my kids half the year and I was still order to pay child support. GOD Bless us all from this corrupted child support system.
I have my kids half the year and I was still order to pay child support. GOD Bless us all from this corrupted child support system.
I've worked with dcss for Some time now. I have heard time and time again how either the mother or father, will have their bank account cleaned out. Especially if the non co is remarried and has a joined account with the spouse who has nothing to do with the cp issue .

I've also heard stories of the non co having their license suspended, and Loosing their job, car, and paying even more to the state in fees due to a late payment. And was never notified of their suspended DL . I feel the laws should be circumstantial, and not loosely based on a motion of enforcement. Why are good people being attacked by the state? Why doesn't the state investigate these other parents who have drug Abuse history, where the children reportedly under cared for? I don't have children nor am I married . But after witnessing some of these horror stories, I'm going to be very cautious of the woman I date.
My then boyfriend now fiance has been going through this for almost a decade now..it never made any sence to me especially when a man is in the kids lives and giving and paying for any and everything and still the mother of the children wants more money..I remember my fiance getting a second job jus to be able to afford things for himself and she found that out and she wanted more money from that...I know not all woman out there are this way and some men deserve to be taken for all they got but 9 x out of 10 it isn't the case and unfortunately one bad apple rots the tree...theres so much more I would like to say but ill leave with this and I quote "since you dont have a job im quitting my job your not gonna have fun while im working and youll jus owe me more money since your out of work because im going to collect from the state well too bad for you"...if your wondering this was said to my fiance when he lost his job by the mother of his kids....so for her to think this way things need to stop kids arnt bags of money!!!
robbing the child and the non custodial parent of their lives... life just feels helpless...
child support laws are criminal. Putting men in debt at the drop of hat why custodial parents recieve benefits and doesnt pay anything back to the government. It violation of humanity, just horrible. Jail, suspended license, they even take points off your credit score, just shameful
Every State same guidelines. If takes 2 parents to raise a child yet one is penalized. Tax Return shouldn't be taken only a 1000 of it because normaly its taken from other children. Laws need change quit allowing power trips over their children cause of it.
The child support system is ridiculous! I have issues with CSE revoking my licensce when I fall behind. CSE wants to put you in jail for not paying... If you legitimately are out of work or broke, how does it help to place a man in jail? I completed an affadavit regarding my finances, the judge didn't even acknowledge what was given to her. I had to ask her to look at it...

The laws need to be more flexible and contemporary.... Child support needs to adjusted to allow for TAX consideration. it is easy to get in trouble with the IRS and local govts. A man simply has not enough to live off of... and it is not because I want to struggle.
My ex-wife used the monetary support to gamble, nite-club's, drinking, fake nails, fake hair,etc, etc., and my daughter was always dirty and her hair look like s#@t! The state automatically began garnishing my wages. She was working and keeping her money, plus spending mine in the street and DCSE still penalized/garnished me!
My ex wife remarried, with her and her husband working, I've lost my high paying job and now barely make a quarter of what I used to, yet I can't get a reduction of child support payments. Now they wanna throw me in jail for it. How in the hell is this fair?! HOW?!
My story is similar to many of the stories shared here. It is unfortunate that there are laws that seem more interested in the demise of a family as oppose to helping . 1. How is it beneficial to take someone drivers license because they are unable to pay child support?
2.when a father is behind on child support (do to unforseen events)how is it beneficial to throw a father in jail?
Those are the two major issues I have with child support enforcement. I believe this system benefits more of the judicial system and not the child..
When a father is incarcerated because they are behind in their child support do the court system pay the child support that are in arrears?
There are alot of us father's who take our sharing in our responsibilities seriously .this is shown by way of emotional support and also paying child support because we are fully aware that our children are our responsibility ...however, the current laws need to be revisited. I guess the only way that you can 100% not deal with issues such as these are by way of not procreating but that is unreasonable.. If I am paying child support and my child is with me 50% of the time and the mother receives some sort of assistance I should be able to claim my child.
If I purchase clothes, shoes, pay for sports, pay for school etc these are things paid out side of child support but it can not be deducted from child support? How can a law that was enforced for you to support your kids give the power to another parent to determine if it is a gift or apart of child support? If it is purchased for my child it is to support them.I am not sure of the results the government was looking for when putting this into law but for the many years it has been in place it has not stopped dead beat dads and it has not stopped people from Having children. There is not a black or white to this child support situation but it is amazing how the government can assist corporations who made bad decisions ...helping them to correct it with tax payers money but will penalize, prosecute, etc a father for not being able to fulfill his obligations ...the laws needs to be revisited...
To whom it may concern, my son just turned six years young recently. Since he was born the mother and I have been separated and they hit me with child support from the beginning. My concern is that the mother has a DUI, has abused drugs and has made my life impossible. It's unfair that I have to pay child support when I've been a mother and father to my son. He stays with me almost 50% of the time.
I don't do any type of drugs, I have a clean record and been there for my son since day 1. I suffered for 6 years with this issue. We've been to court plenty of times so I Can get joint custody but the general magistrate ROBERT JONES (fl) has denied that request. I'm very upset at the fact that I have to pay when I'm the one that does everything for him when it comes to taking him to the doctor, going to all his events, registering him for summer camp, going to his graduation when she didn't even attended. I always get denied because every time we go to court I'm not represented by a lawyer because I can't afford one. And it makes me angry because she's represented by the state. What do I have to do for someone to hear my case. I'm begging you, please help me.

Thank you!
The way the law is right now it violates the vary right of An American citizen, in my previous marriage, I worked 40 plus hours a week at a dead end job, after the divorce I was hit with child support even though I have my kids 50 percent of the time, now I have remarried and in my new marriage I am a stay at home father and my wife works, but according to child support laws I don't have the right to be a stay at home father and taking that decision away from me in tern taking my freedom away to decide what role I play in my household, i might add I still have my children from the previous marriage half the time
July 6, 2014

Dear [Your Senators and Representative],

The child support system in America is modern day slavery that targets mainly minority males and others! With racism so rampant in this country a black male of a lower economic class is almost certain to lose his job or be laid off. In this current child support system even in those moments of unemployment no matter how much the male goes to child support requesting temporary relief during his time unemployed, it's never granted and instead he builds arrears. If the duration of unemployment last for months or even a year or longer, he is almost certain to be thrown in jail, let alone the enforcement tactics of first losing his driving privileges which almost certainly ensures his time of unemployment to be even longer. HOW CAN THIS BE LEGAL OR NOT A RACIST ATTACk ON MINORITY MALES? HOW CAN THIS EVEN BE SOMEWHAT BENEFICIAL TO OUR CHILDREN?

If the system was truly concerned for the child they would at least track the dollars being spent on the child to ensure the child is getting the support they need. Mothers are known for going on shopping sprees for themselves, or to go out dining or partying while spending nothing on the children, spending it on their boyfriends, and not buying the children needed clothing and shoes that the father while still paying child support ends up having to buy for the children anyway. And when that black male goes to the courts to complain of this they say there's nothing he can do about it and that any extra money he spends on the children is considered a gift. Where's the justice in that?

You have a system that has taught mainly the black woman that she is in a position of power over her black male counter part. This is demonstrated in her effortless ability to easily make the black male a slave to child support and the legal system in the event she no longer wishes to remain in a relationship with that man. And so enables her to practice infidelity in a marriage or relationship where children are envolved knowing she has nothing to lose but everything to gain. It is these issues that are breaking up the black family just as these racist system's were designed to do.

I for one have always been a law abiding, volunteer fireman, former military support contracted personnel, Americorps volunteer, humanitarian, and hard working father who has cooperated with child support, calling them every time my employer changes setting up the income attachments for automatic child support payment deductions, and notifying them in times of layoffs which happens often in my industry, yet they do nothing. My daughter's mother hasn't worked since my daughter who's now 16, has been 4 yrs old, but is still allowed to sit at home with another child and jobless boyfriend, and collect child support. She gets my hard earned income tax returns because of my periods of unemployment from layoffs. She even makes more money from selling the right for someone else to be able to c
Child support should Not be figured off gross income. Unless the NCP gets a tax break of some sort
I really think the child support laws should be reviewed so that the court mandate some the women to show proof of income just as well as the guy or vice versa. I'm paying over 1k a month for support when my childs mom says she make 900$ a month, which is a lie..she is a nurse...now, how is that splitting obligations...i live in GA where they take gross income which we never see..what about my other 3 kids that I support at home..how can I feed them and keep a roof over our head...
Hello Congress why won't you take action and help with this problem
I'm so behind on child support due to insufficient funds. With it being hard to find work and me having a crappy paying job i don't make enough to support myself let alone send out $407 a month for my daughter. Her mother moves twice a year if not more jumping from guy to guy giving her ne boyfriend the little bit of money I do send. There is no accountablity for the money she receives. She is more then likely on drugs and my daughter is neglected. The court won't do anything unless I can prove it beyond a doubt. Its frustrating. I would love nothing more then to have a great job and pay it every month and still be able to live. The threat of jail time is always looming over me which makes no sense at all. How can I pay anything in jail?? How can I make it to work if you suspend my license. It has been a battle for years and I am barely surviving. The system needs to change fast.
I'm so behind on child support due to insufficient funds. With it being hard to find work and me having a crappy paying job i don't make enough to support myself let alone send out $407 a month for my daughter. Her mother moves twice a year if not more jumping from guy to guy giving her ne boyfriend the little bit of money I do send. There is no accountablity for the money she receives. She is more then likely on drugs and my daughter is neglected. The court won't do anything unless I can prove it beyond a doubt. Its frustrating. I would love nothing more then to have a great job and pay it every month and still be able to live. The threat of jail time is always looming over me which makes no sense at all. How can I pay anything in jail?? How can I make it to work if you suspend my license. It has been a battle for years and I am barely surviving. The system needs to change fast.
This is why the generation x dosen,t want to get married or own single family home.they lost home as a kid n had to listen to mom n dad bash each other till death .this has been going on for generations n the results are finally showing..
The current system needs to be abolished and reconstructed from the ground up. Recipients of child support should have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt what and where every dime of support is being spent. The injudicious nature of child support enforcement, as well as current federal laws in place such as the UNIFORM INTERSTATE FAMILY SUPPORT ACT is a complete joke in every aspect. Tracking of foreign payments is as corrupt as the corner crack dealer. One thing I can assure anyone reading this, I will spend every extra dime and every extra minute doing everything in my power to amend these insane laws until my last breath.
My x-husband orchestrated an uncontested divorce behind my back. This disastrous divorce left our children split. I have my daughter and he has our sons. The children have not seen each other in years. My x uses the promise of my daughter and I seeing my boys as a way to control my life. I have been fighting to change this situation but lawyers are not free. With 50% of my check going to my x-husband I am left with little money to raise my daughter and no money to hire a lawyer. The system is flawed if situations like mine are allowed to occur.
im going through a situation where my ex is playing the system and stays at home while making me and my family suffer because she doesnt want to work.i know i need to support my child but she brought her into this world also and its also her half of the responsibility why does she get off so easy.the system is in need of restructure badly !!
After taxes, health insurance, and child support half of my husbands pay is gone. He pays nearly $600 per month child/medical support. We have a new baby girl to support that has to go without and go through strict budgeting so her 7 year old brothers mother can buy Michael Kors handbags and brand new everything. My daughter did not cause that divorce but is suffering the consequences for it. Custodial parent get their regular income, plus child support, plus medical support, plus a tax break for having custody of the child, plus tax break for child care expenses. Non custodial has nearly the exact same child expenses (furniture, clothing, food, etc), minus child support, minus medical support, AND eats all those expenses during tax time. 1- if child care expenses are tax deductions, then child support needs to be as well, after all it's FOR THE CARE OF THE CHILD right? 2- the custodial parents income NEEDS TO BE INCLUDED into child support calculations. If non custodial makes 15k a year and custodial makes 60k a year, where is the fairness in taking 20% of that income driving non custodial below poverty?
I have 50 50 custodyof my son and I'm responsible for his needs when I have him but I also pay his mother more then his cost of living all together she actually makes a profit off of having him half the time we were never married she told me when I met her she was unable to get pregnant and I still supported her and her decision to keep him I love my son more than anything but why should I have to pay for her marijuana and her cigarettesI'm not rich I'm blue collar I work my hands to the bone at a great sacrifice to my own health II have a bad back and have to get steroid shot into my shoulders and I'm only 30 old please whoever reads this help me
The problem with the laws as they currently stand is that they allow for unreasonable seizure of the children, and cruel and unusual punishment, which is protected in the Bill Of Rights, which protects the Declaration of Independence.

In many cases, especially where one family gets to live in excess, and the others have to live in poverty or live poor. We have programs that promote this and attack the poor as if they don't have it hard enough, and make it harder to have contact with their children and vice versa.( Moses law also states not to usurp those you made poor.)

Most importantly, it is not upholding the pledge..... "We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."

Please protect the Declaration of Independence.

Thank you
I Agree!
My ex wife receives survivorship income of $2850 a month because of her dead husband for her 2 children. I adopted them and then 2 years later got divorced then now the judge does not count the $2850 in survivorship income my ex gets for the 2 children and orders me to pay support for the 2 children + the 1 child that we had together. How is this fair? My ex gets to double dip on support and gets $2850 /mo + the $424/mo from me I get the youngest daughter 50% of the time how is this fair ??
I don't understand why IRS does not account or require/acknowledge child support income. Father's or payee's whom pay out can not write off or deduct amounts paid. Mother's/collectors do not have to claim income from child support. Example: My husband pays 25k a year to mother of his child yet IRS does not care, they still tax him on the 25k even though my husband has not seen any of it. The mother makes her salary on top of the 25k and yet only claims her salary. I think this is unfair!!!
I don't understand why IRS does not account or require/acknowledge child support income. Father's or payee's whom pay out can not write off or deduct amounts paid. Mother's/collectors do not have to claim income from child support. Example: My husband pays 25k a year to mother of his child yet IRS does not care, they still tax him on the 25k even though my husband has not seen any of it. The mother makes her salary on top of the 25k and yet only claims her salary. I think this is unfair!!!
My ex-wife in five years never paid the full amount she owed me for two children. Now I am paying double of what she paid me for two, for one child. My ex-wife has a better paying job than me and has all kind of assests, yet I am starving and living pay check to pay check. There has to be a way to do equal out the child support, especially when the ex-wife makes money from properties, assests as well as a good paying job. I can barely survive and it is very hard to help a son through college. Regards R. Leal
I feel that Child support is a joke...how is it that courts allow custody to mothers that are NOT working? i feel the one with the money should have control over what happens.

I also feel that if you feel you need child support you need to prove why you need it. It should go the same way as if you were apply for government help.
Child Support formula needs to be revised to add in expenses that the non-custodial parent has. A homeless non-custodial parent isn't in the best interest of the child
The Child Support is totally Biased against Dads. it should be fair an Equitable a parent who wants to take revenge and lie and the courts without proper accounting.
I've raised my son alone for 7 years and his mother who is court ordered to pay child support gets a state exemption and doesn't have to help. She even got state aid for the first 6 months of his life which the state forced me to pay back even though he was with me and she didn't spend adime on him.Now she went out had more kids and collects child support them and gets state aid while not having to do anything but sit around and collect a check. She gets away with not having to support my son and legally there is almost nothing I can do.I have a few friends who would do anything to be apart of their childs life yet are pushed away by the mother and forced to pay child support in amounts that are way beyond what it takes to raise a child. They pay so much they themselves can hardly afford to support themselves. My point being the child support system and laws in regards to parental rights are broken bias and need fixed
My child support payments are more than 50% of what I ever make so I simply get half a check. Income taxes and any bonus go to arrears. Without my current wife I cannot make ends meet. The debt never stops. If they take my license I cant work. If I cant work I go to jail. If I go to jail and have a record I'll never again get a good job. There isn't a day that goes by I don't consider suicide or leaving the country. After all anywhere would be better than death here.
My child support payments are more than 50% of what I ever make so I simply get half a check. Income taxes and any bonus go to arrears. Without my current wife I cannot make ends meet. The debt never stops. If they take my license I cant work. If I cant work I go to jail. If I go to jail and have a record I'll never again get a good job. There isn't a day that goes by I don't consider suicide or leaving the country. After all anywhere would be better than death here.

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