Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

I am currently titled the "alleged victim" in a DANCO case.. the one accused (my best friend and boyfriend of over 3yrs) is being FALSELY accused. I have been fighting this for over a year. The one serving time is only in jail because my abusive ex-husband has told police the "accused" was in my house. After multiple police searched my home without a warrant or permission, they didn't find the "accused" in my house, but weeks later arrested him anyway on 10/17/14. This kind of thing is continuing to go on and on.and has since July, 2013. I, myself have been bullied by the police, handcuffed thrown against the police car and yelled at simply because I respectively declined the officer's to enter my home based solely on what my true abusive ex-husband claimed that the accused was in my home. The county attorney has also bullied me and did not let me know my rights to request a speedy trial back when the original arrest was made in July, 2013. There was a hearing scheduled for Oct. 28th, 2014 to have this DANCO finally dropped, but yesterday, Oct. 17, 2014 law enforcement arrested the accused like they always do about a week before any scheduled hearing. We had a little over a week to finally have this been over with until he was arrested again .. FALSELY accused, no evidence, but according to the DANCO law ANYONE who says there was a violation of a DANCO order, including my abusive ex-husband who WANTS my boyfriend in jail, HAS to be arrested!!! This law is NOT helping the innocent.. in fact the wrong man is in jail and facing multiple felony charges due to my ex-husband who SHOULD be the one in jail!

There is SO much more to this. NO ONE seems to be helping.

"alleged victim" (of the STATE of MN., law enforcement and ex-husband.. NOT the "alleged victim" of the one serving time)
Watched a friend of mine lose battle after battle trying to get someone to listen to his side while his exwife used the "he abused me and probably the kids" to be awarded a move hundreds of miles away and then to alienate his children from him
I am currently watching my entire life shatter and crumble as a result of a drug addict making a false accusation of domestic violence. She worked in conjunction with a dirty police officer to get me put in jail so they could have sex, party, and rob me while i was in jail.
I am 30 years old, with a clean record, holding a Bachelor's in Criminal Justice, and have NEVER been involved in any form of violence. I have been an advocate against domestic violence my entire life. The "victim" who is accusing me has done this three times prior and apparantly this is how she ends relationships. She has been charged with falsifying a police report and domestic violence herself on these past incidents. However, here I am on the verge of becoming homeless because of this false accusation. I have lost my job (which I love). I work with troubled youth in a juvenile placement facility. I cannot go back to work until I am cleared of these false charges. I have lost my CPL. I have zero money coming in and my bills are not stopping. The court system is moving slowly and continues to postpone my court dates. How is this fair? I am continually victimized over and over again.
The worst part i I have tons of evidence proving my innocence and not one person cares. This includes video of the officer breaking into my house after his shift. An 8 minute video of the woman breaking into my house.A text record of talking to a detective while she was claiming the violence was occurring. And tons of other things. NOBODY cares that my life is in ruins and I have been victimized!
Because of the false statement of allegations i've been limited time to speak to my kids no one person cares spite i live 68 miles and have done nothing then voice my opinion to be knock at. Evidence should be the main and not of just voice of someone that is abusive and controlling now to turn children against the other parent because they want to divorce and the no fault divorce should be a law banned it helps the one hiding asset and lies
This happened to my son by a vengeful girlfriend. He was arrested and put overnight in jail, and who knows what will happen next!
It is incredible how the accuser's statements are accepted without any objective evidence.
Sociality blindly views men as perpetrators of violence, the majority of Americans believe the biological myth the cycle of domestic violence only attaches to the “Y” chromosome. The gravest flaw in democracy is elected officials pandering to the majority to be elected. The Violence Against Women Act, VAWA is falsely seen as a noble cause despite history revealing over and over again that the root of all evil is a false noble cause. Humankind must come to accept there is only noble cause… equality.
Not that I advocate a Violence Against Men Act, two wrongs do not make a right not even a “women’s right”.
A Police officer came into my home prejudiced with society’s view and violated me and my 3 year old daughter while we should have been safe and protected in our home by our Constitution. The police entered and arrested me without a warrant. I was not even confronted with an allegation, later I would find out that a man must comply to fetal position when confronted by a violent women. I had pushed her off of me and ran from her. Domestic violence and abuse is terrorism the VAWA is state sponsored terrorism.
Having a child with a violent abusive women makes my life being forever fused. I have exhausted all remedies within the system. As a man I am left to comply with abuse and the compulsory fetal position or be immediately arrested without a warrant.
I recently spent a night over a friends home only to return home the next morning. My wife whom has a child from a previous marriage and has been delusional from some time called the cops on me and claimed I was abusing her. She had not one mark on her and they (NINE POLICE) took me down to the ground and instantly arrested me. They would NOT listen to my side of the story at all, and ACTUALLY told me they didnt care. If they didnt arrest me, their jobs would be on the line. While in jail I was told by numerous police officers that they all knew I was innocent but there is nothing they could do about it. Just fight it out in court. Well 20 grand later Im still fighting it. Its amazing the power these woman have over men and without any type of proof. Instead of arresting me the authorities should be looking at her and her parenting skills. The child support check she gets from her ex husband goes directly to smoking cigarettes, drugs, and scratch tickets. Its an unreal world we live in but I believe in karma and it will turn around to bite her right in the ass.
My son lives in Louisiana, I do not. After signing this earlier I wanted to make a comment. As I write this he is sitting in jail with a high bond that we don't have money to pay (50,000.00) He is accused of "Misdemeanor" domestic violence against his estranged wife that simply never took place.

He believes by her own conversations with him that she is on medications for serious mental disorders, the type that cause people to lose their balance easily; I believe this is what led to her allegation. He sits in jail and he has no lawyer, court appointed or hired. He does not go to court until late November. His job was being held until the end of this week and then its gone. He has no record of violence. There is so much going on here it is mind boggling and very hard not to be worried for his well being.

He sits in isolation knowing he is innocent of her charges alleged in a restraining order. In his bond hearing she was allowed to give her testimony full of deceptive drama and untruthfulness and he was not allowed to give his defense evidence with his own testimony. He sits in jail knowing his sons life has been turned upside down suddenly and feeling like his life is being ruined by someone he trusted; someone who changed when she met someone new and just wanted him gone.
When he leaves Louisiana his little son will feel further the sting of a manipulated absence of a parent he adores. Her misguided and reckless actions against a father trying to give the best support possible to his son have been instituted without regard for the feelings of the child. This is the second time she has attempted to separate a father and child, she lost the first attempt with her older child, she may get her way on this attempt.

I am writing this with his permission and on his behalf after a telephone conversation with him today from the jail. I see in reading some of these comments that many are suffering and I ask what has happened to America's system of "Justice for All"
My wife beat the crap out of me. When the cops showed up they threatened to take me to jail then left with her still pinning me to the ground. In another incident she would not leave me alone. When she went into the house I hit our vehicle which is when I got my DV charge.
I am know one of them victims! Know because I wanted out of a relationship I was accused of a domestic violence and thrown in jail and not able to make one statement! Hopefully my innate sense will prevail!
I have had this happen to me .... I have lived a nightmare for 7 years . It's not just me living it my daughter age 7 is too. I stayed to protect her but now because of the law I can no longer protect her ...and there are not support groups or help in my area for men only women
This has recently happened to me. The story is a long one and has done quite on number on me. I feel so frustrated and helpless. I have an initial hearing tomorrow, 10/16/14. I have a diagnosis of major depression and anxiety disorder and know she was targeting my weaknesses but for what ultimate goal I do not know. Maybe she gets off on this and in the process has turned my life upside down. There is so much to say about this but I would go on for hours. Thank You and I am glad I found this site.
I was set up by my brother knowing I entered a contract with the court of law in Nashville TN. He annoyed me to the point were I chased then smashed my fingers on the door knowing ill get mad.So I spit in his face and he called the cops on me and I got arrested for (D.V).It is unlawful that I was accused of this when there is always brotherly conflicts no matter what.
Dear Gentlemen : I am victim of DV false accusations of sexual abuse of my Daughter . AS a result of this accusations IO was restrained from my children I had to leave my America so i do not go to jail .I have never seen my children since then even i pay my child support .Try to extinguish hell from this law wirch mainly resul;ts are to send to jail incent men .
This past yr I have learned, on a very intimate level, that people can claim anything they can "dream" up to a uniformed officer and in this country, you are GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT. My ex husband made a false allegation against my current boyfriend, filed for a restraining order, didn't serve it properly, but was awarded it regardless and has continued with his lies, so now, over the last 7 months battling him in court, I am only allowed to see my son through supervised visits. ALL BASED ON A FALSE ALLEGATION (and manipulation of my sons mind) he saw as his chance to screw me over for not taking him back. Absurd. My boyfriends ex has had him arrested 4x since their split/ 1 time on a 5150 claiming he was going to hurt himself.??? All to find out in the end, it's because she's developing a paper trail so he can't see the kids and she gets all rights. Yes, that came out of her mouth during a chit chat her and I had. (unbelievable) THE ONLY ONES WHO SUFFER ARE THE CHILDREN INVOLVED PEOPLE!!! False allegations need to be stopped immediately. Law should require there be a guideline for investigation before ANY action is taken. !!!! Some people are sick minded and selfish. So sad. BTW. October is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH. I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD BE MADE AWARE THERE IS ANOTHER SIDE TO SOME STORIES. Please, let me make myself clear however, I do realize there are cases of extreme abuse (have been a victim myself - the ex) and am behind punishing the guilty, I would just like to see some deeper investigation for all claimed abuse, to make sure the innocent aren't watching their lives get destroyed for a vendetta.
Happened to me. In a second I went from respected to a homeless scumbag. She actually attacked me in my sleep after surgery. Out weighed by 130# she 330# 5' 1" I controlled her head like in third grade wrestling. I was told I was the aggressor by a woman cop I ****ed off 20 years ago when I out shot her on the police pistol range! I was too good of a reserve deputy. I advise all men to stay away from *****es your sister does not like and ALL super morbidly obese women. We all know that is most often a form of suicide which is an unstable trait already. Every man I know wrongly accused fits these two categories.. Man up and get your self a real woman. one who is fit an a type A personality. She won't have psycho issues. Question is when are American men going to man up and be worthy. It is tough guys, but worth it. I have never been happier with someone as my girlfriend now. But even though she's gorgeous, sexy and all I can handle sexually,,,,, she would kick the*****of half the men I know in any situation fight or survival. Thank God for Southern California and Iowa girls!!!!
I am a victim of false allegations by a mentally ill woman who I befriended earlier in the year. She has a 4-year-old son and when her mental illness and drug abuse became so extreme that it affected the safety of her son, I reported her to CPS. The filing of a restraining order against me is just one activity she has undertaken to intimidate and harass me for reporting her to CPS.
I am being constantly arrested on false assault charges filed by my ex girlfriend, she is ruining my life through the justice system. What can I do to stop this?
Im a witness to this story happening to my family member.
We have been harassed by a former spouse using all manner of frivolous litigation that she has self filed without having to prove any of her allegations. These laws must be changed so that those of us who are doing the right thing are not falsely persecuted by systemic resources used under false pretenses.
I am a victim of this, NOW!!!
Men are not the only victims here I am a woman who has been falsely accused and have gotten arrested multiple times over false allegations. These allegations can ruin lives and since there is no reprocussions for making false allegations or wasting the governments resources these people keep abusing the system.
I was accused via false allegation of Domestic Violence. It was my first and only arrest at age 56. My arrest photo was widely publicized via internet on Mugshots.com right after my arrest before any verdict is made. The city and county give or sale the arrest photo. I was presumed guilty and belittled by a Judge during arraignment. I was not convicted but the arrest record comes up on background checks. It costs money for Attorney fees, damages reputations, and there is little recourse one can take. The accuser is known to be violent, abuse drugs, and has an extensive arrest record. Mediation and fact finding should be exercised in cases of "he said, she said". There are mean people out there who even inflict self injury to inflate false charges. In the end, you have no rights, unless you have boat loads of money, cameras and sound surveillance, and truthful witnesses. It is a travesty of Justice in our Court Systems today.
Double standards... The DV Industry... My wife was on Risperdal & other medications for bipolar where the side effects are worse than the actual symptoms before she flipped out on me and falsely accused me of Domestic violence. Her Mother I was warned of for 6 years not to trust took over meds,doctors appointments... Undermined my marriage when I felt I had no choice but to trust her a month prior when I explained to police why my wife might be acting weird and causing trouble with the neighbors and I took my wife home for her safety concerned for her health. This is when I discover 5 empty boxes of depecote(so?)the next morning as my poor wife had lied about taking her meds for so long. She made the terrible mistake of dropping her health insurance earlier that year or she would have/should have been hospitalized to avoid the narcissistic mother & save our good,"Christian" marriage. In the next few weeks leading up to my very tall and strong manic wife coming home from dinner & a doctors appointment where I was told I didn't need to be after 6 years of being faithful & loyal by my wife's side she spent a full week at home calling & begging me to rescue her from the "mad woman" mother. The mother was nosing her way into our personal lives,dictating how I should take care of my best friend and this is where risperdal was prescribed as my wife could barely stand on her own focus on a few things at a time,going from playful one minute to throwing a cutting board at me the next and laughing only to be ultra paranoid not sleeping or eating much wearing me out. In sickness & in health... I cared for her when I was clearly in over my head. Trying to play Super-husband. Trying to please too many people feeling inadequate with major acceptance issues stemming from an abusive Mother of my own my wife balanced out... I was losing my best friend and for all of my best efforts, the harder I tried to keep my wife safe & happy at home the more the Mother seemed to want me out of the equation. The harder I tried to help her keep her job as she feared losing it.. Me... The more the Mother insisted on changing doctors & new meds so fast to speed up my wife's recovery or destroy us faster. I know now how we were set up by the mother/family manipulated to fail... The justice system did nothing to clear my name and seemed obvious to my wife's being off meds or balancing out on new w/so many side effects. I should have filed false accusation charges but I was scared out of my mind,lost the church where we met,she worked & I proudly served as Volunteer by her side for 6 years regardless of how busy I was w/3 jobs up to the end. They took the only car we shared leaving me with the responsibilities of bills & debts on my own and that neighbor she thought was stealing our mail & out to kill me prior to my taking her home extorted over $3000 from me as I was too badly traumatized living in fear to know his lies of having a secret atty to "help" me were false. That neighbor
My wife useing domice violance resting order agaist me.when d.a distance chrages agaist me.why goverment let this h appyen when I love her.and she used me
Im a victim of false allegations and the court as lied to , I was never serves to attend any hearing and now I'm convicted of being a violent person, I'm 42 and never my whole life have been in trouble or had violent confrontations with anyone! The way this is handled is ludicrous to and wrong!
Im a victim of false allegations and the court as lied to , I was never serves to attend any hearing and now I'm convicted of being a violent person, I'm 42 and never my whole life have been in trouble or had violent confrontations with anyone! The way this is handled is ludicrous to and wrong!
This NEEDS to be addressed.too many innocent lives are being ruined
I don't feel so alone anymore - Thank you. My ex-called repeatedly only in the presence of our 10 year old son. The abuse on her part was clear as even the responding patrolman asked they she not abuse municipal resources in such a way - the officer was a female and knew what was going on. She called 7 times and uses that against me as she now lives with her boyfriend and reminds my son how often she had to call the police on his father. Young and impressionable my son could not handle that and we remain estranged. I don't force reconciliation = I just believe the truth will out and pray he turns out OK. I want to get involved and help. What to do ? Thank you. Dan Milosevich
my husband of a 23 year marriage frauletly filed a RO on me 2 years ago. Last week he reinstated it again because it ran out at 2 years. Still to this day I have not been able to go in front of a judge because he keeps postponeing it and also asking for a two day trail to sue me with a present Ro of 5 years. We own a big croperation lots of money. That what this whole RO thing is about the money. He's a Narsasitic abusive man. In two years not one thing has happen to dissolve marriage. I'm at 35,000 in lawyer fees just fighting RO. Finally got a new attorney that has promised me the RO does not stop the divorce. I have totally confidence in him. Iv been living in our RV for two years on only 600 a week. While my husband is enjoying all our perts. Vacations women homes cars etc. I feel my civil rights have be taken from me in that I have not gotten a timely trail. I have found how very strong I really am. After getting away from my phyicaly verbally sexually mentally abusive nightmare of a sick husband.
Please help me
Rhonda petty
I read the stories of those who are victims of abuse by those who falsely accused them. It happened to my son. Let it be clear that there needs to be no real evidence or past record or any abuse for a vindictive or desperate or mentally ill ex girl friend or spouse or other to falsely accuse that person of domestic violence. The courts do not even abide by the definitions of abuse under the Domestic Violence Act. We were told the courts hand out PFA orders in Wayne County, PA like candy, to just accept a 3 month PFA as you don't stand a chance. Find another lawyer! Be brave, and opt for a hearing and have your story, your declaration of innocence on record. Until these inequities in the legal system are corrected the victims of false accusations, both men and women, will suffer needlessly-their lives interrupted and often shattered.
I was Convicted of a Domestic Violence Crime that I DID NOT Commit! I Lost 10 Days of My Life in the County Jail, which I will Never Get Back! This was all thanks to LYING Witnesses along with the So-Called "Victim" REHEARSING This Ahead of Time! All to keep My From Getting Custody of My Then 7 Month Old Daughter (My Daughter is Now Close to her 20th Birthday).
as the above information is same in my life please save me i am in a critical position now.

Thanks and Regards,
My narcissistic ex-wife threatened me with a DVTRO if I didnt comply with her wishes. All I wanted was to keep the 50% custody awarded to me...I never thought she would, but she did. A couple of emails where I am irate about her keeping my children when they should be with me, a lie to demonstrate "threat" and another lie about the nature of our marriage and boom! I went from 50% to 2x2hr supervised visits/week. Hearing was no better. San Mateo, new judge, recent press on DV, she didnt even look at my evidence. Im heartbroken, my boys are so sad about it when I see them. Shes from a wealthy family and has already drained every penny I had and more in legal fees just trying to stand up for my role in my sons life. No more money for lawyers but Ive lots my children...to someone that should be in jail!!
This happens to women too. My husband filed false child abuse charges against me to obtain full custody of our children. I cannot count the number of times that he threatened to keep the children away from me. He said he would tell people I abused them. I am a victim of domestic violence and this allegation has just allowed him to continue the abuse.
My ex filed completely false claims about me in order to do a ex parte order to take temp custody of my daughter. My ex claim I beat him up when I would get drunk which both claims are untrue. The first one I beat him up is crazy he was my abuser I left him after he threw a chair at me while I was holding my daughter. I shielded my daughter so my face was wide open which resulted with my face being cut open. He would of kill me if I touch him ever. Also he was so controlling I was never even allowed to drink when I was with him to get drunk. I let his mom have my daughter for 6 weeks this summer for a vacation. Well before I came to pick my daughter up like plan I get a call from my ex lawyer saying he was filing a ex parte restraining order against me for some alleged phone call to my ex. I told my ex lawyer he couldn't file that because I have phone records proving I never call his client in fact I would prefer to never have contact with his client . So his lawyer goes into court claiming I'm this awful mom who's addicted to pain pills once again I don't have the problem with pain pills but his mom and him do. they also said my daughter who only 14years old try to commit suicide with pain pills which she never ever try to commit suicide and that while she was supposedly in the hospital for her alleged suicide that I left her and went to some suppose military ball that I never went to. It just goes on and on with the lies. I have lost temp lost custody of my daughter and still have zero clue how this all just happen I have had custody of her, her whole life my ex was a barley every other weekend dad. My daughter is in serious danger and no one will help me because my ex has use the court system to continue his abuse and has everyone convict that im the danger. I cant tell you how hard it is to of been abuse by a man for years and now have the courts hold me down while him and his lawyer continue to beat me up and take my daughter. This man has taken everything from me . Now ive been order to pay child support to a man who is seriously behind on his child support to me. My ex also abuse my other children and Threw a Chair at my 2year old and the courts of Spokane WA gave this man my daughter.This has to stop now ex parte restraining orders she be used for true domestic violence victims not a loop hole for unethical family law lawyers.

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