Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

Something needs to be done. It is not fair for anyone to go thru this its ruins lives and relationships to children.
I think there should
My ex sister in law attacked my mother because she was protecting my ex sister in laws son from getting beat because he recorded her drunken assault. My mother was beat and my ex sister in law hurt herself and called a police friend to her residence about being attacked by my mother. My 68 year old mother is facing jail time because my sister in law is a drug and alcohol abuser and she going through a child custody case with my veteran brother. She been winning so far with lies.
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Thanks!!
If you CURRENTLY have a Protective Order or Restraining Order issued against you, PLEASE do yourself and the rest of us a favor...... FIND a lawyer who will "challenge the constitutionality" of YOUR order! Tell your lawyer to use "crespo vs crespo" in New Jersey as a reference. Crespo WON!... These orders were found to be unconstitutional (duh?), but it was overturned on appeal. These orders are in direct violation of the US constitution in MANY ways, but it is rarely challenged. We need lots of people in their own respective states, to challenge their OWN orders on a constitutional basis, and this BS WILL change.

FIND a lawyer who is willing to challenge the constitutionality of YOUR order, and take it all the way to the Supreme Court! This WILL stop!... its only a matter of time. Thousands of completely innocent people are having their lives destroyed.

These orders are literally guilty, until proven innocent.

Challenge the constitutionality of YOUR order, and take it all they way to the Supreme Court! You may even get famous... you will certainly be a hero to many! I only found out about this AFTER my order had expired, your order has to be current. FIND a willing lawyer and DO IT!... Please.
My son's ex girlfriend has a restraining order on him, yet has called his phone over 78 times in the last 48 hours, sent numerous texts (threatening to violate him if he doesn't respond) and has shown up at his place of work demanding he speak with her. We have evidence of ALL this. But you know what the police are doing? Not a damn thing. Women like Kristin Ruggiero (NH) need to be stopped. There needs to be criminal sanctions issued against people who file false allegations of abuse. Enough is enough! Prosecution against such behavior, such as in the case of State v. Kristin Ruggiero (NH) needs to be the norm, not the exception. Innocent men are having their lives ruined by these psychopathic women using the system as a tool to exact vengeance on their exes. A restraining order is meant to be a shield... not a weapon!
I was lie on my ex is abuseing her child does drugs and abuses her my puting her finger up her 3 year olds but to make her cry she hits her she hide drugs and drinks from cps i went to jail 93 days i am on unsupervised probation! And theres proff i am innocent but Seattle wont do anything:(
I was lie on my ex is abuseing her child does drugs and abuses her my puting her finger up her 3 year olds but to make her cry she hits her she hide drugs and drinks from cps i went to jail 93 days i am on unsupervised probation! And theres proff i am innocent but Seattle wont do anything:(
I was falsely accused of Sexual Domestic Abuse, fought the allegations in court, and had them dismissed. The judge kept the restraining order from contact because "I can tell you lover her and would take her back in an instant and she wants nothing to do with you". My wife has had several of well documented affairs ongoing throughout our relationship. The longest seems to be the last one that may be still ongoing. She took the kids and went to the local Abuse Center. A week and a half later I was slapped with the charges. I now have not seen my children in 3 months. The courts keep pushing dates out, the police department tells me that she is there for a reason and I must have done something, when in fact did absolutely nothing but love my family. The Abuse Center has kidnapped my children and want me to agree to supervised visitation 2 times a week for 2 hours through a court order. I will agree to nothing of the sort. The pro bono attornies make false, slanderous accusations through letters to the only judge in our area of which I am copied on and we haven't even been to a hearing for child custody. They have accused me of putting a GPG Tracking device on her vehicle, when in fact it is called OnStar that comes on the car free for Safety, Directions, Anti-Theft when you purchase a new Cadillac. I am accused of not letting my wife bath when in fact she would send me "photos" of herself all day long while in the bathtub, the court doesn't care. The machine called the Abuse Center had too much power and all is overlooked. The laws need to change, and need to change now. There is nothing of the sort for due process, it's your guilty, now defend yourself, no investigation. Something better change and better change quickly or women will keep using this as a weapon to leave loving husbands for predators they meet online.
My son's wife, in Wisconsin had multiple affairs during their 5 year marriage. They have a 3 & 5 year old. She took the children and ran to an Abuse Center. They immediately, on her behalf filed a Restraining Order alleging "Domestic Sexual Abuse". This is to cover up her Adultery with several different men! Now all the legal issues are centered on him!!! He had an Attorney, but has to defend against the false Restraining Order accusation against him from unsympathetic courts - that drag their feet, police threats, hearings, court dates, Guardian Ad Litems, the Abuse Center & over Agressive Pro Bono Attorneys now attacking him for something he didn't do!!!! She is the one who had the affairs, took the children and is falsely accusing him! NO DUE PROCESS, NOW A VICTIM BECAUSE OUTLANDISH RESTRAINING ORDER PROCESS, hasn't seen his children in 3 MONTHS!!!!!!

This system promotes anger, frustration, hate, and can cause violence - I have certainly been tempted as this is a very ugly and dangerous manner in which to treat people. GET RID OF THIS GODDAMN ABOMINATION OF RESTRAINING ORDER, ACCUSATION & GUILTY WITHOUT ANY & I MEAN ANY EVIDENCE!!! AND YHESE ABUSE CENTERS ARE AS BAD, WORSE AS THEY HAVE KIDNAPPED HIS CHILDREN & LAW ENFORCEMENT DOES NOTHING EXCEPT TO SAY: SHE IS THERE SO YOU MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING AND IGNORES THIS UGLY, UGLY, UGLY DAMN IMMORAL WRONG DANGEROUS & EXPLOSIVE PROBLEM. FIX IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Before people continue to be hurt or driven to take matters into their hands out of desperation & anger!!!! IT WILL HAPPEN & IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This happened to me because my ex was mad that
I had a larger property interest than her, and so
she continuously made false allegations that I beat her - when it was the other way around.
I was falsely accused of domestic abuse back in 1995, in 2011 after I was kicked out of the house my ex told the court that I had beat her over 1500 times and ultimately she got what she wanted. A nice child support check. She lied to get custody and proceeded to have my son stay with me half of the time, she doesn't force him to go to school, leaves him home alone while on vacation, and does not see anything wrong with having a 15 year old girl stay the night with him. I on the other hand, feel that I can do a much better job, and have proven that over the years, but now that my son is 16 he had gravitated towards the easy route. I feel her lies have cost him his education and have forced him into the jaws of a narcissistic mother. My atty says that this ruling is irreversible, there's nothing that can be done, I have a hard time sitting here and watching my son drown due to the results of fabricated lies. The obvious loser here is my son
It is time for the witch hunt to cease in the name of Political Correctness. Especially in the military as the military seeks to 'Prove' to Congress that it needs to retain and can handle these type cases, so they don't lose jurisdiction. They have proved over and over again that their only desire is to get that conviction and the hell with the innocence, the facts, the truth, the false accusations. The outcome of getting a conviction outweighs any ethics, concerns, or truth. Sacrifice on the altar of PC. Major 'Kit' Martin has been the subject of PERSECUTION, in the name of prosecution for the vengeance of a flag officer and the drive of the 'prosecuter' to attain that rank.
This is NOT a small "problen." Falsely accusing one man has a tremendous affect on so many choldren, spouses, parents, friends, and relatives. There are no consequences for the false accusers even when the victim has been proven innocent. The burden of proof does not currently rest in proving the accused guilty. Especially in the military, the burden of proof lies in proving innocence. As is in the case of Major Christian (Kit) Martin, although the civilian courts dismissed his case after an extensive 3 hour poloygraph...the military deemed this proof inadmissible. Instead the military justice system pushed to the tune of an estimated 2 million dollars of taxpayer money for a conviction of thos innocent man merely fromo this mentally unstable woman's allegations. I am certainly not a rocket scientist- but when this sane woman had made the same allegations against her father, step-father, two other ex-husbands, and is a convicted felon bigamist...and furthermore. ...Major Christian (Kit) Martin passed a 3 hour polygraph....Then WHY would our government allow millions of dollars to be spent on this case alone?? Additionally, Major Kit Martin had to spend his life savings after serving 3 combat tours and 29 years dedicated to military service. SMALL PROBLEM??? NO!!!!
I think if the accused can go to jail for breaking the restraining order than the accuser should face the same consequences. Too many times the women break the order, and its alright. Its a very one sided law that should apply to both parties.
It's not just men this happens to. People DO abuse these laws; and aren't always legitimate. But these fraudulent retaliatory reactions aren't taken seriously. It's become too easy to accuse; and too difficult to defend oneself from accusations. It's gotten ridiculous. I've seen so many posts that suggest that if you're the first to call 911, you're more likely to be seen as the victim. If citizens know this, than why don't officers?! Maybe there's a reason that the average officer I.Q. is 104. It's crazy!
After I got out of the military I was waiting on a Disibilty check from the VA. Aug 28,2012, I was suprise arrested after coming home from work for "beating my wife" Aug 30, my birthday a deposit to my bank account was made by the VA. Finally after days in jail I get out, and find my bank accounts empty and my house and all my tools I used to make a living at a home remodeler.
I need help My life has changed for the worse because of her and now she has left with 2 kids whom i'm told might not even be mine but florida says i have to pay for them even if they live with biological father. WTF. I NEED HELP
I was a victim of false domestic violence charges by a foreign bride and it cost me lots of money to not only to figh those false charges because I refused to sign documents for her to get Us citizenship and even though I won this court battle I was falsely arrested 3 times and my ex was never charged with perjury, all it takes is the women word with no prove of anything
I was a victim of false domestic violence charges by a foreign bride and it cost me lots of money to not only to figh those false charges because I refused to sign documents for her to get Us citizenship and even though I won this court battle I was falsely arrested 3 times and my ex was never charged with perjury, all it takes is the women word with no prove of anything
My son has been falsely accused of Domestic Abuse by his wife. Her Mother did the same to her husband. She took the children & entered an abuse shelter. He has not seen his children for 2 Months. The shelter accuses him of stalking and try to prove it with pictures of a truck in a nearby parking lot. It isn't his truck, doesn't even look like his truck, and has no lisence plate on it, but his wife said it was his. The Police called and threatened him with arrest WITHOUT EVEN INVESTIGATING! He gets harassing letters from the center threatening arrest because his wife claims he has been near the center. At his hearing for Domestic Sexual Abuse his Attorney proved his innocence YET the hearing examiner in dropping the sexual abuse put into place a 4 year TRO for Harassment!!!!?

Her Pro Bono Attorneys continue with the sexual abuse accusations constantly.

These Attorneys are trying to get his Attorney disqualified so he would need to find a new Attorney for Child Custody and a Divorce.

A Guardian Ad Litem was identified but not assigned as yet. The Family Court keeps stalling by not responding to my son's Attorney nor will her Attorneys respond. My son's Attorney said he has never seen anything like this in his long career.

It is a nightmare for him!!! These Restraining Orders are a disaster! They are far too easy to obtain, current laws are so one sided and stacked for an accuser who needs no evidence except to accuse. Nothing is investigated, people are arrested, GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT YET STILL GUILTY! This process is obscene.

The Abuse Center has basically kidnapped his children, police won't go near or enter the place. His wife uses it as a weapon to harass him, keep his kids from him, and the center has all day to turn his young impressionable kids against a father who adores them! He knows a woman who used the center and told him they are coached by that place to say in hearings & court that they "fear for their lives", that young kids are counseled to "fear Daddy" and say he scares them.

This place is supported by huge donations from businesses, private donors, and had a great deal of influence with the courts through lobbying, pressure from advocacy groups and fear by officials of alienating these advocacy groups.

Laws continue to be enacted that make it nearly impossible for a person to defend themselves: example - a recent law in Wisconsin disallows the use of any evidence to be allowed if it occurred before the date of the alleged sexual abuse. EVEN IF THAT EVIDENCE CONTRADICTS EVERY AVCUSATION!!!!! How is this Justice!!!!?

Thes laws have to be changed to require proof, demand due process, force an investigation for any restraining order, put some reasonable and common sense limits on the power of these abuse centers, punish false allegations, not allow one parent to deny children to the other, bring balance into these proceedings so fathers are not treated like criminals based on an accus
My fiancÚ was arrested at 3 am infront of my kids because his ex psycho wife decided she would claim he violated the restraining order by sending a note to her. There is no note. She was not made to provide a note..only a "witness" to this note before it just up and vanished. No questions asked he's dragged out of bed at 3 am and arrested. 48 hour hold and I can't get in touch with him. She's an abuser of restraining orders as it's been proven several times. Courts need to stop these vindictive, manipulating women!
To the person in Hyannis, MA..... She is exactly right! Basically, she can do anything she wants. The ONLY way to stop her from falsely accusing you, and having you thrown out of your OWN house with a protective order?.... Falsely accuse her FIRST! Sad, but true! Go to the courthouse and tell them you want a Protective Order because she is "abusive".... lie if you have to. The first one to make a believable accusation WINS! Yes, it IS literally that simple! Our laws are set up that way! Since you're a male, you are going to have to try a little harder to make a believable accusation, than she would... maybe cry and really do it up. Don't worry about "lying"... they have NEVER prosecuted anyone for lying under oath to get a Protective Order... its felony perjury, but they have NEVER prosecuted for Protective Orders or Restraining Orders... Yes, NEVER! 2-3 million Protective Orders issued EVERY year.... ZERO, NEVER, not a SINGLE time has ANYONE EVER been charged or prosecuted for lying to get one... Did I say NEVER? Try and prove me wrong!

You must accuse her and get a Protective Order on HER, before she does it to you!... or you will be homeless, childless, and living on the street! You will also be labeled an "abuser" and possibly go to jail, all with NO TRIAL, NO DUE PROCESS, and completely innocent! It happens EVERY single day! Very sad, but very true!

If you think she is going to falsely accuse you, the ONLY way to stop it..... is to accuse HER first! Many police officers have even TOLD me this! They know how ridiculous it is, but they will still serve the order (and kick you out of your own house) if told to do so. I know its wrong, but trust me, its the ONLY way! Its our retarded laws, that care NOTHING about innocent until proven guilty!

If you do get served with a Protective Order.... Please, please, please, do us ALL a favor.... FIND a lawyer who will CHALLENGE the constitutionality of YOUR order in COURT, and take it all the way to the Supreme Court! Not all lawyers will be willing to do this, but some will... FIND ONE! Challenge the constitutionality of YOUR order, and take it all the way to the Supreme Court! Tell your lawyer to use "crespo vs crespo" as a reference. Google: "crespo vs crespo" in New Jersey Crespo WON! It was ruled that these Protective Orders and Restraining Orders ARE unconstitutional (duh?), but it was later overturned. These orders are very rarely ever challenged in court (the constitutionality of them). We need LOTS of people in every state to do this, and they WILL be found in DIRECT violation of the US constitution... in MANY WAYS! Its a matter of time... they KNOW how ridiculous these laws are!

1. Accuse her, before she accuses you... I know its sad, but that is literally the way it works! (she already has the advantage, because she is female... its easier to believe that a female would be in "danger".... yes, female bias).

2. If you end up getting served with
Wife just threatened to call the police. I asked her '' Are you going to lie?'' She said '' I can do anything I want."' She is trying to take our kids out of our only home for 15 years. What can I do?
Fort Polk LA discriminates and select cases based on race rather than the truth. Soldiers are court martial based on hearsay without evidence. There is not a complete investigation into cases bias buddy system. Congress doesn't care I think we are wasting our time here.
My brother has 2 counts of corporal of spouse and they are trying to hive him 14 yrs.... The girl is dillusional and contradictory type of person .. Then she still claiming they are going to get married when he gets out....But she gonna let him do the 14 yes and its all her fault ...does that sound right ppl are crazy... State of California upholds this...sad cases
I am a victim of domestic violence survivor, who has had an order of protection against my abuser in 2013 and now have one newly ordered against me, falsely as a means to end a newly established administrative action for child support order. Which did not work, but it leaves me listed as an abuser. When there is no evidence to support abuse, and a judge removes 2/3 children from their mothers physical custody and gives them to a man he had previously declared judment as a domestic violence abuser. And left the third child in the home with the mother whom that judge suspects of abuse. Some one has to stop the misuse of laws intended to protect the victim. Not further the victimization.
This happens too many time especially with no evidence. I ask you to please allow every human being with the affordability of due process.
A verifiably false accusation ruined and ended my career. The false accuser has no fear of any penalty resulting from her agregious lies.
I have lived through false accusations, corruption, and discrimination from a bias court system. And it has ruined my life.
Stop protecting liars
To be experiencing this at the hand of someone who works in the system & knows how to play the system is unethical. It leaves one feeling as if they are being molested by a priest, knowing that society will only see the collar and not the crime. The psychological & emotional effects are devastating to state the least as there is nowhere to turn for assistance.
I agree with you 100% Falsely A. from Roanoke, VA.
What's more, DV's/PFA's need to be moved from "civil" proceedings to "criminal." If you aren't arrested nor being prosecuted by the DA then an order shouldn't be placed. And if the accuser is found to have committed perjury during court proceedings, which mine did, then she should be thrown in jail.
Matt P.

My situation EXACTLY.
My ex, a sociopathic narcissist, feels no remorse for false allegation against me, and having been an attorney was well aware of the disaster that was being created for me.
My ex, a sociopathic narcissist, feels no remorse for false allegation against me, and having been an attorney was well aware of the disaster that was being created for me.
Dido to all. My wife had an affair or two, decided she wanted to separate / but filed for divorce and wanted me to leave. My three children wanted house sold and her to leave. She filed for an order of protection, it "was not" a restraining order. We were only allowed to talk about or children. I stayed completely away from my home each night until 9 p.m. or later and only went home to sleep. I worked two jobs, the second to pay my son's college tuition. After order in place, she alleged a violation. I was subpoenaed to appear in family court, judge ruled in my favor, would not remove me from home or change order which infuriated her. She two weeks later cried wolf again. I returned home at 9 p.m. to have her throw a hot drink on me and then again call the Village cops. This time they sent robo-cop with a chip on his shoulder and he arrested me, class one felony for contempt. I was arrested in front of my 19 year old daughter. He refused to let me call attorney, he refused to allow me to make a phone call, he did not read me my rights and did not tell me what I was being arrested for. I represented myself, DA dropped charges. I have filed a notice of claim against robo-pig and village. It is my understanding that there are only three (3) arrestable offenses in violation of a "Restrain" from order and those are misdemeanors. The order that she had was a "Refrain" from and very limited. I was also told robo-pig needed a warrant from Court and Court could only charge me with felony contempt, however there was no basis. I am a business professional with not so much as a parking ticket . I spent 28.5 hours confined and in County jail. Not sure who orchestrated this but divorce was over in 8 months because Judge was infuriated with me? No-one would listen to me. She was able to remain in home for 3 years until my youngest graduates high school. I have to wait for house to be sold for my share (50%) of home. She was able to have her affair and not have her life change beyond me not being in it. Something so wrong with the system. I am fortunate that my older two children know the truth and have been protective of me. She has primary residence but we have joint custody. My 14 soon to be 15 year old son has been and still is my life. Now I am reduced to seeing him when I can within confines of her craziness. Cannot trust her even now that we are divorced.
I never knew things like this were possible, but it is true, it's all leverage that is used in a pending divorce to get a leg up. The true domestic violence victims have to wait because of the courts being over run by false allegations and of course the children suffer the most. Deplorable that this goes on this day and age. I know 4 other people personally that this has happened to. I am going through this now after finding my wife having a secret relationship, gave her divorce papers , I leave for a business trip and the next day she files this protective order alleging abuse the entire relationship and also to my kids. I haven't seen my boys in 2 weeks, and filed the divorce the next day when I got back from my trip she then gets an attorney and tells my attorney they will dismiss the charges if I drop the pre-nup. NO WAY, I am going to fight for my kids, they deserve that from me, I have never been accused of anything like his or even have any type of police record. This is such an abuse!!!!!!!!!
My son who loves his children is fighting for equal parenting time. His soon to be ex has tried everything in the book -Domestic violence and restraining order (both rejected) and charges him with illegal drug use for prescription drugs. When police investigated she then claimed okay they are legal but he was abusing them. It is her word against his and it has cost the city, county, and my son lots of money. Detectives had to investigate for nothing rather than go after real drug problems yet nothing happens to her. What about perjury laws? What about filing false police reports? Absolutely nothing gets done and she just keeps making stuff up. Now why would she do this? It is all about money. She wants to go back to the husband she divorced before my son because he has more money and she can spend, spend, spend with no consequences. This is a sad state of affairs.
We are going through the same thing right now. My fiancÚ ex wife just kept adding things. My fiancÚ never got to tell his side. He got 5 yrs in prison, and she wanted him to do 2 yrs. He was supposed to be released a week ago, but the DOC likes to play games. This woman is evil. Especially threatening to put someone else away.
I agree, we need . To be inocent until proven gulty .unless other victim as brises and more deep investigation. Women lie
Unfortunately I have experienced this first hand and I would have beat the charges but instead I did not want the children (all 6 of them ) to have to choose sides and cause friction between eachother too. I was falsely accused and the mother was threatening to punish whom ever told the truth. Something has to change very soon before anymore children are affected by this ridiculous law. Seperated from the children and EX has shacked up with a person whos Father is a retired State Trooper who is just as conniving and spiteful as her. I am not wishing any misfortune to anyone. I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO HUG MY CHILDREN AND BE IN THEIR LIVES. Thank you for this website and all the others who are doing what is "in the best interest for children everywhere".
Falsely arrested twice. Unable to see my one daughter, 10 yrs old 50 days. Unable to get any personal belongings from home. Afraid of police brutality. Wife has friends who are police officers
If you CURRENTLY have a Protective Order or Restraining Order issued against you, PLEASE do yourself and the rest of us a favor. FIND a lawyer who will CHALLENGE the CONSTITUTIONALITY of YOUR order!.... AND take it ALL THE WAY to the Supreme Court!

Not every lawyer will want to do this, but FIND one who will! Tell your lawyer to reference "crespo vs crespo" in New Jersey These orders were ruled to be unconstitutional, but it was later overturned on appeal. It is very rare that anyone challenges the constitutionality of the orders. This******WILL change.

These orders are a direct violation of the US constitution. The right to a trial, the right to due process, the right to face your accuser and cross examine them, and the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, under due process.

Find a lawyer who will challenge the constitutionality of YOUR order, and take it all the way to the supreme court. Google: "crespo vs crespo" in New Jersey. Use that case as a reference. Crespo WON! It was RULED that these orders are unconstitutional (duh), but it was later overturned. We need EVERY person with a Protective Order or Restraining Order to start challenging the constitutionality of these orders in court... and this BS WILL change! It is a DIRECT violation of our most BASIC civil rights. These orders are literally guilty, until you can somehow prove yourself innocent!

Please do yourself AND the rest of us a favor.... find a lawyer who is willing and do it! Please. It took me YEARS to figure this out, and I cannot do it because my life has already been ruined and my Protective order has expired... your order has to be CURRENT. I wish I had known when this first happened to me. Please fight this crap in court, for ALL of us. Thank you.
I just got kicked out of my house Thursday due to being acused of domestic violence. I have never laid a hand on her, harassed her, stalked, etc. But now I havent seen my son in over 2 weeks and she is pushing to take everything that I bought and that was given to me by family, and also going to try to take full custody of my son.

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