Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

My wife has verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically abused me for six years. I stayed for the kids, and always hid the abuse from the public the best I could. I wanted my kids, Tommy and Jill to have their mother in their lives, and do everything to keep our family together. After moving to NY, her bipolar and anxiety mess have stopped working, and she has been abusing them. Her manic fits of rage gave me a severely fractured finger. Last week, she called for an emergency evacuation while I was at work, and I have no idea where her or the kids are, or when I will see them again. She's trying everything in her power to hurt me, and she's using our two angels as pawns in her sick game. How could the police be required by law to hide the location of my children based upon mere accusations from an emotionally unstable, abusive drug addict?
I was arrested today because my boyfriend and I had an argument. After he walked out of the door I pushed the nearly closed door shut, enough to make a slight bang. He then walked back up a couple of steps to tell me that he was calling the police because I had almost made him fall down the stairs, which I knew was impossible, especially because he was away from the door and there was no weight on it, nor any sounds that would have indicated he had almost fell, which was never my intentions in the first place, but because he told the police that I pushed him, they arrested me for domestic violence. Before this he threatened to call the police on me anytime I got upset at him for not helping out around the house or for him swearing and calling me names in front of our child. I know he needs help and we are seeing a counselor. Our last appointment we had he agreed to stop threatening to call the police on me when I hadn't been doing anything to him. I feel that he's trying to seek ways to gain control of the situation and exact revenge on me. My biggest error is becoming emotionally upset when he is being cruel to me, but I didn't call the police on him. The only time I did was when he gave me a concussion and had physically injured me. I can't believe that police have the right to arrest someone who hasn't done another harm. Serious changes need to be made to these laws to protect those who the police are suppose to protect. It shouldn't be that easy for a citizen to turn these laws into a game.
Publicity/thrill seekers who claim domestic violence/abuse when it is a false claim should face legal and financial repercussions How can a person expose their children to the public humiliation of having a parent accused of this, based only on a "verbal" charge - no evidence at all? This subject has become such a popular cause that celebrities, media groups, etc. jump on it with no concern as to the truth. What recourse does a man have when falsely accused of mistreating his wife? When going to his child's school activities is painful and humiliating but staying away makes him seem uncaring? When he loses his job because of the publicity, but is faced with contempt of court for non-payment of child support? Why is thee no penalty for ruining a person's life just to get attention?
My whole life has been messed over by a false accusations of domestic violence. I was in my early 40's, with no priors arrest, and worked for the Department of Homeland Security at the time.
The mother of my children wanted shelter, government assistance, and a way out of the relationship.
With no job, she saw this out of a relationship that for one reason or another, she really didn't want to be in. At the time, when jailed, l didn't have money to meet bail. So I took a plea out of a justice system that was just stringing me a long. The plea was one of the worst mistake that I ever made in my life. I now have a record that not a reflection of me ,my personality, or anything that I truly believe in.
It is sad that there are women out there who are being abused and actually need shelter and government assistance who have there spots taken by women who fabricate stories of abuse for the purpose of obtaining housing,money,and an abundance of government assistance and resources and worst of all use there children as pawns and tools for revenge! I am a man that's had my son taken from me by his homeless mother who used false claims of domestic violence has her living in a shelter with our 6yr old son who was living with me sleeping in his own bed.even with no proof or credible witnesses the judge denied me joint custody and only allows me every other weekend after not seeing or speaking to my son in 5 months.ive never been arrested or even questioned for domestic violence.mean while the mom gets housing ,cash, job ,assistance ,and my kid is in counseling behind false accusations .if that's not mental abuse I don't know what is.any judge doing there job a little could see the inconsistency it this woman stories.the system is broke and doesn't work for men!
Im a witness to a girl breaking into her boyfriends window and biting him repeatedly. I told tge boy to call the police. The police arrested both of them. The boy was in jail & plead guilty to get out of jail (due from fear of jail). Eeeeeeeeergh!
I"m going through a messy divorce in CA. I stop giving my wife cash money during our divorce and instead paid for everything with my ATM card to have records of finacial support. She was ****ed off that I was no longer giving her cash money. She was coached to place a TRO on me by filling a false dv report with no merrit. She obtained the TRO through the courts with several false dv allegations. I was never arrested for the dv allegations. The sad part about ex wife was coached by her place this TRO on me right befor our spousal/ child support and visitation court hearing. Now I have lost tempory parental rights, pay more spousal and child support untill my TRO hearing. This is an unjustice and abuse of the legal system...the best part of this situation.....Im in law enforcement and now I might lose everything I worked hard for in my life because I decided to file and pay to divorce this women......LOVE HAS NO FURRY LIKE A WOMENS SCORN......
My brother had a dispute with his soon to be x wife and she tried to hit his hand and he pushed her aside with reasonable force to keep her from hitting him and now he is up for Domestic Violence charge. This is wrong, she is bigger than him and has been the bully all their years of marriage. She works for the state of MI and is now living at a Shelter for Domestic Violence victims. She is taking away from people that really need it. They have been separated for 2 months and he has made no effort to see her or be near her, yet she drives by his house all the time to intimidate him. She even tried to get her 19 year old daughter to place a PPO on him so that she could live at the shelter with her. I realize that Domestic Violence is wrong; but, we have to realize that people should be innocent till proven guilty and these laws are not set up this way. Please help us change this, Prosecutors should do their research before slapping these charges on innocent people.
My husband and my life were ruined by the current laws. My husband is mentally ill, and instead of helping they coerced me to signing a paper when the police were called. Now, his meds are working, and he cannot get a job. He is a good person, kind, and now the system just lumped him in with severe batterers. He has never punched me. I hope that we can temper the extreme, one sided laws in place now. I hope that additional legislation will allow expungement of class a misdemeanors for men who do not repeat offend, who go through therapy and complete probation. The current laws are ruining lives.
I was falsely accussed by my husband, three months after our marraige with the intentions of taking my house away from me. The judge said she only skimmed throught the paperwork and gave my house to him for three months, when he is not listed as an owner or lien in the house. I hold a respectable job with the Federal Government and these false accusations may damage my career.
Women need to step up against the fight in dv and start a petition for women to stop slapping men.
This has to stop. To many lives are being destroyed especially children. False accusers should have to pay, fines, court cost, attorney fees and time in jail.
Both of us had to pay 5 thousand dollars and an additional 2500 to bail me out
I was falsely accused of domestic violence, Ithas been 12 years since I last seen my children in a supervised visit when the visit was over the supervisor pulled my sun from my arms he was crying and did not want to leave me. I said then and there I would not put my children through this anymore it was the hardest decision of my life. I think of them everyday their mother has moved them to central Fl. that they are older to keep them from me as there interest in their father grows she has done everything she can to keep them from me. When i left the marriage she told me she begged me to stay, when I declined she told me "If you leave I will make sure you never see these kids again,ever" that was the only promise she ever kept. Through all of this I have continued to pay support for my children carry life insurance in the case of my death they are supported. My money is good enough to support them yet I am not! The family courts are all about the money, not the best interest of the child.I miss them so much, the hurt is killing me little by little everyday!
I am a victim of DV who also was falsely accused encouraged by abuser's attorney in a custody battle. Let's be more proactive and show that NOW and other DV groups only care about profit not the abuse or false allegations.
This is an awful, discriminatory "loophole" in the current laws that the real victim, the accused, apparently has no voice, no representation, no fair due process, and is guilty until proven innocent. Once proven innocent, there is no apology, no restitution, no way to get back lost time with children taken away, no way to change children's memories of being told lies that their victimized parent had hurt the lying parent, etc. It is deplorable for any parent to do this to their own children. It is also wrong for the laws to allow a parent to do this, perfectly legally, and it is wrong for the government to side with an abuser of children.
I have lived this nightmare along side my boyfriend for almost a year. His ex wife got a new bf and they plotted to push him out of his children's lives and make the new bf their daddy. Starting with false allegations of DV, then when that didn't work, false allegations of sexual abuse. A very good man and loving father had his babies ripped away from him and his name and reputation will forever be questioned in some peoples minds. After almost a year of court dates and thousands of dollars in lawyers fees, he was proven innocent and the judge threw out all charges. But how does both the father and the children recover from the trauma? Because of the actions of a vindictive woman, the children are so messed up and possibly being threatened. No one wants to believe a woman could lie and be so evil but everyone is so quick to accuse an innocent man and ruin his life. There needs to be a stiff penalty for anyone who falsely accuses a parent of abuse to gain custody or take away parental rights.
People who are innocent should not be punish for a false accusation.
My husband took his ex-wife back to court for a modification of child support. Within one week, she had taken one of his children to the hospital and contacted the police with allegations of domestic violence. We were investigated by CPS and the police. The emergency room staff was interviewed, as well as the children. All parental rights and visitations were stopped and all guns were removed from our home, including mine and my sons. My husband had to miss several days of work to meet with his attorney, counselors, doctors and CPS. He was forced to take an alcohol assessment, at his own cost, and he doesn't even drink. All allegations were unsubstantiated and after two months, all charges were dropped in court. However, a "mutual" restraining order is still in place until the my husband attends counseling with the children. He cannot see or speak with the children until the counselor feels the children are "ready" to be around their father. By the time his counseling sessions have been completed, it will have been nearly six months without contact with his children. Again, all allegations were investigated and everything was unsubstantiated. There was no evidence of abuse. The ex-wife's story and the children's stories did not add up and the police, CPS and judge all felt the allegations were bogus. The ex-wife made these allegations in a vindictive manner due to the filing of the child support modification. She manipulated the children, having them go along with the story she created. The children have suffered emotional distress and have been deprived of access to their father. My husband's name was besmirched and issues of trust have now arisen, making it difficult to be around his own children (when the time comes) for fear of his ex-wife attempting another act such as this one. When CPS and police were questioned as to what can be done about her false reporting, we were told that she would have to do this at least two or three more times before they could investigate her. There is no protection or justice in these matters and false accusers, when evidence is clear and present, should be held responsible for their actions, which should be punishable by law.The victim should also be compensated by the accuser for any legal fees, lost wages, medical expense and another of monetary burden that was incurred by the false allegations.
I personally know of too many females who have claimed DV when there wasn't one just to retaliate.
This is happening to me now for the second time with another women. This needs to stop it is only hurting our Moral and our Children!!!!
This is happening to me. I am all bruises with fractured femur as I didn't realize he was/is drug addict. I wouldn't do what he wanted so he beat me and then he called police. He was arrested and they found a gun (illegal). He now is claiming I did all that plus and is getting restraining order thru family court. Police don't even know my leg is broken. I am 5 ft. 100 lbs. Disabled-severely affecting my upper body. And now have to locate wheel chair for next 2 MOS. He knows I can't get there. I was served on thurs and haven't found lawyer. It isn't fair. At all.My reputation will be ruined, my clean record will be ruined.
served with a d v I thrown out by police my husband left no fight nothing 5 days later he did this to me can prove all on dvi is not true he did this to get me out because he is coming into mpney and I just got my last ck. from my trust I was waiting for him to come home instead 2 police showed up at door im out based on lieing d v I when we went to court he iled for div. that day and his div. was not there so it went to the judge she upheld the 500 ft rule so if im with in 500 feet of him anywhere I have to answer to the judge, so now I have to wait for him and his div lawyer to say if the 500 ft rule in place, can be droped, im completely innocent he used the civil laws to get me out all lies , married 14 yrs no children I supported him 14 yrs now he eaves plans it behind my back waites 5 days parties, then has police serve me what can I do to file aganst him I have put him in jail for domestic vio 4 times he has a history of this that goes ack 18 yrs but he states to his pa I don't want a hearing his pa said; hes wants it droped but in the end the 500 ft thing is still in place so I can be ambushed anytime!!!!! help what can I do or file in return donna
I believe that justice is indivisible. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
The fallout from false allegations affects the whole family and ruins good people!
It is appalling to me that based on her "fears" only have I had my 1st, 2nd, and 4th amendment rights violated. I was illegally searched and had property seized for allegedly having contact with people NOT listed on the protection order. It has also been used in an arbitrary way. The order clearly states "workplace", which is singular in the dictionary. Even though she worked in one town our whole marriage (3 months) she still was able to claim another place in another town as a workplace, and I was arrested!
Every man doesnt need to hit a woman i want to raise and protect my son
I wasn’t even there when she said I hit her. Everyone knew it was made-up, but the Judge’s exact words to me were: “It doesn’t matter what the truth is, you’re going to lose.”
A friend of mine is going through it. he has been in jail three months, and its so so sad
A friend of mine is going through it. he has been in jail three months, and its so so sad
My friend, who is legally separated and in the process of divorce, was falsely accused by his wife of physically harming her. Anyone who's ever even met this man would instantly understand the absurdity of the allegation, he's the most gentle human I've ever known. He was arrested in full sight of his neighbors, taken to jail, where he spent the night, wasn't released until mid day, so he was late to work... the punch line: his wife is a retired FAMILY LAWYER. No one knows better than she that, in a no fault divorce, the only "fault" factor that can impact alimony settlements is, you guessed it, domestic violence.
I am a highly educated man who worked my way from a truly impoverished youth in an attempt to achieve the American dream. I have never received anything without earning it. My life has now been destroyed after being attacked by my ex girlfriend. Even though I was the only one injured I was arrested and charged with a felony based on allegations alone - no injuries to her; nothing but a lie.

I refused a plea deal to a misdemeanor because I am innocent. Because of this more charges were brought against me upon indictment. I will soon be homeless, my career lost forever, and penniless; but I will never stop telling the truth. If I am convicted by a jury then mark my words - the world will see how this biased system works. A decent and innocent man attacked by a histrionic/borderline woman should not be treated this unfairly.

I have been victimized now not only by this woman, but also by the police, the state, and the country I once loved so dearly. I cannot win this battle on my own. We must all work together. The only way to halt the wheels of this DV industry is to take to jury trial. I am serious friends - don't give up.

If you are truly not guilty like me, you must never take a plea. It will be difficult and we will not all make it; but it is the only solution. It is the right thing to do philosophically, but it will also slow the DV machine to a grinding halt. So many cases - and 90% plead out. Imagine the effect of the DV trial caseload expanding to even 50%.

I pray for all of us each night. I pray that no one will ever have to endure this hell on earth of being falsely accused, this waking nightmare that never ends. I pray that truth and justice still have a place in our system. Take hope in my words everone. Love and peace to you and God bless.
women constantly cry wolf and IT IS time that they not be aloud to do this any longer ... it xan ruin a man for the rest of his life on the word of a person that issupposed to be equal BUT asks to be above!! NO MORE!!
A woman can destroy you if the judge believes her ********. Theresa has millions in the bank and 3 lawyers in her family and a judge. She promised she'd destroy my life. Why? Control! Histrionic Personality Disorder is untreatable. The courts have figured out that friction between the sexes is a constant, what a revenue generator for them...
I recently had a argument with my husband and it got a little out control a shelf fell when It hit my head on it and it upset me and threw it and husband got hit in back of arm to pertect himself then cops show. Up and take him and give no contact order now he homeless and im no means to pay rent or utilities we didnt need there help this is destroying us not potecting anyone.
50year old no record won custudy of my minor daughter business for 35 years.Was aerested 4 times on false accusations by the daughter of a nypd,Went to trail on 5 charges because I wouldnt accept plea,My lawyer who was only interested in money sent back a hung jury and I was convicted on 1 charge.Tried to appeal spent 10,000 dollars on appeal 35,000 on case.spent 4 months in jail.was released and soon picked up again on 8 felony charges 16 months awaiting trail 2 week trail ,it took the jury 14 minutes to find me not guilty of all charges.Every complaint against me was made up by a women who was addicted to perscription meds has a history of mental illness and has since had 2 other people arrested for similar charges.Richard Brown refuses to investigate this person for perjury despite the ABSOLUTE PROOF we have provided.We have proof his ADA new of her intent to commit perjury but proceeded anyway.There is no need for domestic violence laws violence is violence Assault is assault and battery is battery Tagging it as Domestic only makes it political,These laws only encourages women to use the shield as a sword for revenge or financial reasons One more thing there was never a 911 call made and I havent had any contact with this disturbed person in 4 years when all this was happening People must be held responsible for their actions and perjurous statements.
As a man who was a victim of domestic violence during childhood, I am extremely frustrated and disgusted by women who false accuse men (who are truly innocent) of domestic abuse when there are thousands of women who truly are being abused. This in itself is abuse, and a misuse of power (aka bullying). What sickens me more is the fact that when these women are proven to have falsely accused a person of domestic abuse, there is usually no punitive action taken against the women. I am for equality, but things need to be equal all of the way. Until these concepts change, I ALWAYS advise any man that if you "catch wind" that a woman is abusive, or has the potential to do something like this, run away and stay away from this type of woman. NO ONE deserves to be abused, and NO ONE deserves to be constantly in fear for their well being. Be at peace within yourself, and if you cannot be at peace with someone, you do not need them or the potential problems that could present themselves.
I am a men and I am being falsely accused of domestic violence by my wife and her mother. She told me if I didn't give her full custody of our daughter and a large amount of child support that she would say that I choked her. I said no so she went to the police station and put a restraining order on me and assault charges. The restraining order was dismissed for no evidence at all. But I was found guilty of assault with no evidence. Just because her and her mother said It now my naval career is in danger. I live in Virginia. I feel like there is no reason to fight because a woman will win in court all the time.
After 21 years of service in the USAF, I have been falsely accussed of threatening my former intimate partner of 4 years with a firearm. I firmly believe she was coached to include this statement on her pfa request by an outside source.
In 2011 my life was change. I lost my mom and the woman I thought was my wife to be. Months after my mom passed away. I was going through the pain and hurt over her death. My former ex-would-be wife was someone who I consider at the time my best friend. We known each other over 20 years since college where we met and dated. I never had a doubt or had any reason the question her faithfulness and trust in our relationship. I later months in the fall of 2011, my ex and I tried to move on with our life. One day I got a call from her while I was at my job working on a project schedule. We talk for a brief moment on just basic "How was your date conversation"! Well once the call ended I received a call from her again within minutes of ending the previous call. When I answer her phone call at first I did not hear anything as I keep saying "Hello" and calling her name. The next thing happen I started hearing moaning sounds then loud sexual sounds "Like hearing loud porn playing in another room while you are in one room with no tv, radio or no power. Just so you can get the picture of this story. I was hurt and devastated from what I was hearing from the woman I thought love me. I left my job heading home because I thought that I would be able to catch in the visual act of her false commitment to me. When I arrived home she was not there. So I got smart and us my phone service family locator. I found out that she was at a nearby hotel. So when she came home I confronted her about the sexual affair. She denied it and told me that I was making up a lie on her. So I told her that I was going to leave her and she can keep the apartment we share. She express to me that she would still need my help and I told her that she need to get help from the man she just slept with. She got mad at me and threw a large set of keys at me. Then charge at me swing and hitting me. She verbally told me that I was F-up in the head and that my family and mother was F-up in the head too. Then she said that my mother die because she was F-up in the head. This hurt me hearing her say these words. I responded back by slapping her and then I told her to not say anything to me and to leave me a lone. Now when things had cool down. I told her that I needed to go take a ride. She asked where was I going and I just simply told her to come ride with me. I ended up dropping her off over to her mother home. I went back home to our apartment. Later that evening I was arrested and taking to jail without my right being read to me. The fight lasted for 5-10 minutes and we were both calm to a point. But for her to have me arrested was something I would have never expected. She lied and told the officer that I jump on her accusing her of cheating. She lied at my bond hearing to a judge. When the judge asked her did she cheat on me and she responded by saying no. Then the judge asked her did I made this all up, she responded saying yes. The judge denied my bond. I remain in jail for two months. Du
This country's court gives out domestic violence order too easily. Deceitful people have used this to hold against someone who is in their way. It's not fair. please change the law and require the court to take a more serious look at DV order when someone requested for it.
In 2012, she accused me of violence, anger and physical abuse. I spent thanksgiving in jail. While she went to Vegas with her new boyfriend. I took it to trial and my true emotions were felt through the 911 recording. They were those of confusion, fear, and sadness. I was acquitted of all charges. Time has passed and I forgot how deceitful she was. We got back together and now she's doing it again. She's stolen my children who are still enrolled in the san diego school district. Fled to Washington where she is filing a petition for a protective order. She's accusing me of threatening to kill her and that I severely beat her. I have multiple witnesses as to what really happened. She was the aggressor, trying to fight my pregnant sister. I will stand up for myself and my daughters and defend my innocence. But should all of my evidence and testimony fall upon deaf ears. I will remain content. For I saved a life that day. By placing mine in the path of destruction.. Besides, I know in my heart I did not do the things she's saying, I just restrained her. Strangely she did not call the police and in fact tried to contact me. She came back home the next day and was calling me baby for three weeks after the alleged incident. Till a month later when she decides to hook up with the same man. take my children out of state and file the emergency order.. I have three days to figure out a way to appear in court and present my defense. You would think that jurisdiction issues would not allow this to happen. But here she goes again...
I was falsely accused and when we went to court for a hearing I had three witnesses that proved the claims were false yet the court still gave a NCO to me ex wife without commenting on how he came to his conclusion after hearing the sworn testimony of the witnesses that caught the lie. Now I have lost work, friends because I am seen as an abuser. After a year NCO without issues I have no recourse to remove the false allegations from my record. This is wrong!!!
The same situation is going with woman against woman and have no relationship at all.Whatever happened to innocent until proving guilty.If you have to go to jail first and be processed,then you are guilty until proving innocent. Laws suck
My ex-husband (who was the one who filed for divorce after I had outlived my usefulness) was hell-bent on destroying me and my career as a forensic psychologist. But when he could not find any "dirt" on me he created it by filing not one but FOUR DV bogus & unsubstantiated charges against me (we had NO CONTACT, there was NO evidence that could be verified - I did not even know where he lived). Help me stop Judge Michael Kaplan and his grossly unfair decision from hurting anyone else!!!
Its just not fair. There is no protection for men who are falsely accused by bitter women.
Twice in three years wrongfully incarcerated on false claim by highly intoxicated ex-wife. Officer taking me in on the 2nd one even stated to me I was "getting screwed" but that he had to take me by law.
every allegation categorically untrue - written and verbal. a narcissist in menopause motivated by greed and a dishonest family with Mafia connections - almost destroyed me. this was not justice - just assassination.
Domestic violence should be proven in order to keep it in someone records. Other wise the one who caucused falsly should be punished.

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