Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

Have a Filipina wife who falsified domestic violence to get U-visa, (she came on K1) already shacked up with a Mike in Kansas city. We need to stop these women from getting visas from the Philippines.
I am currently going through false allegations of abuse. Now she has a protective order against me and I cannot see nor speak with my children for a minimum of 2 years.
Tired of the men always getting arrested without any investigation of objevtiveness.
A man is guilty until proven innocent on just the word of one person.
Your story is so sad... as is mine. I too was falsely accused of Domestic Violence; in my case, the opposite was true; I was the abused. My wife left Hawaii in the middle of the night with my two-year old son; my love, my life, my soul, my blood, and my best friend. We were(are) in love and I have the pictures to prove it. I made the mistake of complaining about her violence towards me, so to protect herself, she flipped it. It's partially my fault for never reporting it to the police. Most men don't, because honestly, when a woman hits a man,... it's just... normal these days, and a guy who cries about it is considered a "pussy". So we take it, cause we're used to physical pain anyways, we're men, and we're supposed to be tough. Not sure why I thought she would stop hitting me after we had a child, but she did; in fact it got worse. Never thought she'd hit me in front of son; wrong again. Never thought she'd attack me right in front of him when he is four months old and sitting in his little baby chair right under my feet, seemingly oblivious to the fact that could get seriously hurt, or worse, if I fell on him, but she did. I blame myself for not doing something about it, but I just couldn't imagine calling the cops and telling them what was going on, and I was always fearful that they would take my son from both of us if I did...(I was probably right). She knew she would lose custody if the truth came out, so she fled, and lied. She could feel the heat coming, so she played the "switch the blame game", said I hit her, and accused me of anything and everything her mind could think up at the time. Mostly lies, and the parts that were true were twisted, one-sided, half-truths; void of any explanation. She made sure I was pennyless by robbing me before she left and blaming it on "thieves", stole "our" taxes... must have forged my signature? Then continued to empty my bank accounts during the divorce. Sneaky wire transfers. I finally figured out what she was doing and cut her off, just in time to start paying child support. I had no way of defending myself, no money for a lawyer or plane ticket, and no earthly idea what I would say if I did fly to the court hearing. Again I was scared if I told them the truth, we would both lose him. During the last year and a half, there was a two-week time period where she let me speak to my son on the phone after not letting me speak to him for months; then stopped letting me speak to him, and I haven't spoken to him since. The court order says that no reasonable request for visitation will be denied, but how do you request a visit, when you have no idea when or how you will be able to visit. Now that I am able, she refuses to even speak to me, which makes setting something up impossible. I have tried to reason with her; she should know this won't last forever. However, I now look like the deadbeat who hasn't done anything after his wife left with his child. Noone where she is even know
Whitaker, Haileyesus, Swahn, & Saltzman's 2007 article "Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury between Relationships with Reciporical and Nonreciporical Intimate Partner Violence" from the American Journal of Public Health has some great statistics on domestic violence.
I recently discovered I have lost my 2nd amendment rights...for life! I have a bachelors degree and can't get decent work. I have not been convicted of anything since. It is awful. The law is supposed to be constitutionally based. Felons are able to restore ALL rights. What? Really? America? All men are equal?
Giving American law enforcement extra pork bloating dollars for male domestic violence statistics will prove to be a stain on American history.
The whole scanairo stinks.I did absolutely nothing,and was arrested at the police station.I was there trying to get police help ,I was trying to leave the house ,and was attacked and did not even try to defend myself.
My brother is currently in cook county jail. He's fighting his case against his wife. We all know how she is and she wants to make my brother's life miserable. She has physically and verbally abused him many times and yet he's the one sitting in jail. I wasn't there when the situation happened. However, I know my brother and he has an awesome heart. He loves his kid's and he loves his family. I hope that the judge can really see and know his side. I pray that justice will be done.
My brother is currently in cook county jail. He's fighting his case against his wife. We all know how she is and she wants to make my brother's life miserable. She has physically and verbally abused him many times and yet he's the one sitting in jail. I wasn't there when the situation happened. However, I know my brother and he has an awesome heart. He loves his kid's and he loves his family. I hope that the judge can really see and know his side. I pray that justice will be done.
In late 2013, I lost custody of my children, my job, life savings, family home, my reputation was destroyed, and months of my life were wasted fighting the false allegations imposed by my soon-to-be ex-wife. All as a result of exiting an emotionally abusive relationship in which I was the true victim. Throughout the whole process of seeking assistance and protection from the LA Sheriff's Dept. I was, without question, antagonized, brushed off, and imprisoned; treated as a vile repeat offender of serious crimes, looked down upon as the armpit of society. I only wanted out of a failed relationship and was arrested. The woman that did this to me, submitted her claims to court without any evidence to support her claim, contradicted herself several times, and provide multiple versions of her story, in both written and verbal testimony; All which contradicted her previous versions. The hearsay was accepted blindly in lieu of real, substantiated evidence. Needless to say, I'm still picking up the pieces of my life to this day. Yet, for all of her transgressions, lies, and ill intent, she received: custody of my children, a home free of debt, a new sports car, all of my tools/equipment, and worst of all, she maintained her freedom without persecution. THIS HAS TO STOP! No one should have to be falsely accused and have their whole lives destroyed over unsubstantiated, psychotic babble, and a judicial system that is only after a conviction in order to receive money for each “closed” domestic violence case. Adding another tick on court's scorecard.
I lost 200 days of freedom because of false testimony of DV. My ex wanted full custody. She has since been charged and found guilty of 2 counts of filing false police reports concerning me. My record has not been expunged. I have a BS in Criminal Justice but can't find work due to a phony felony stalking conviction. Please help the Father's who want to be a part of their children's lives.
My wife is a Disabled Vet who put her life on line for 3 years in Iraq. She has been disabled for the last five years, suffering from Severe Combat PTSD, traumatic brain injury, Dissociative disorder, and Sleep terrors. Well she freaked out the other day thinking something bad was about happened. She freaks, totally different person, grabs me and starts screaming like someone was hurting her. After about 5 minutes of this she just becomes quite, goes outside and stands beside a tree. Sometime from the backdoor to the tree she calls the police saying I punched and choked her. Tell me how could someone in their right mind stand outside for at least hour in the freezing rain. My son evens goes out there to bring her some hot chocolate. I didn't believe she even called the police, because of the amount of time it took them to get to us. I went out 5 different times trying to get her in the house, she just stood there staring at the sky. The cops show up and see scratches on my face. She said I hit and punched her, I had a mental breakdown. The cops asked her where, she said her face. There was not a mark on her. Let me remind you its layers of ice and snow, while its freezing rain, I forgot to mention she was only wearing sweat pants and a short sleeved under shirt. The officer immediately takes me to his cop car and puts me in the back, he grabs two victim packets out of his case, hands one to me, and tells me to fill it out. The officer showed up by his self also. The next 30 minutes in that car was a nightmare. He told me he is arresting both of us both, and having CPS take my 10 year old son and my 8 year old daughter into custody. I just really don't feel going into much more detail how my experience was that car, it has me crying just thinking of it. He finally decides to not arrest me because CPS was not picking up. I felt such a relief when I knew my children would not have to go through that experience that in their life. so they took her to jail, arrested her, no bond for 48 hours minimum, and no contact order with me. Again this is a Disabled Vet with severe combat ptsd, and taking medications that you can't just stop taking. I went 3 days later to give the Magistrate $500 to bond her out. The Magistrate is the one that told me about the no contact order, I had no clue. Now CPS just stopped by today. And the questionnaire they have the victims feel out is pretty much stating only men are charge with Domestic Violence. "has he forced sex on you, is he cruel to the dogs, are the kids afraid of him, and so on. Its been a very hard time because this incident. What is she suppose to do? The judge told her if she came home he would lock her back up. Its been a week and half without contact from my wife. We have know each other since the 2nd grade and even lived in the same neighborhood. We are both 30 years old and our life has really been turned up side down. She goes for the arraignment next week, I am hoping she got herself a lawyer
Mainly this is the result of women being sexist against men
I'm disgusted by peple being taken advantige of, specialy children. Please revise the laws to protect the innocent and punish the false acusers.
I have been thru this 4 times. The last 2 there were not even injunctions filed with the restraining orders. Its best to lay low and let them hang themselves. Eventually the truth comes out and then sue for libel and slander. Only then will the stupidity stop if your dealing with a vengefull woman. Mine filed divorce and when I agreed and said I wanted the kids half time the restraining orders and claims began. I have my kids half time. The GAL and attorneys love the conflict and will in my opinion allow one party to escalate to line thier pockets. The system of family court is broken to us, a windfall to the attorneys. Legislation is the only way to change the snakepit.
I am the "who" these current laws affect. In January 2014, while trying to exit a relationship and keeping even DCF apprised of my intent to exit, including the threats of retaliation, I sent my "Dear Doris" letter. 24hrs later I'm arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and sexual assault without ANY evidence whatsoever. Only a false statement. I was incarcererated for 24 hours, lost my job and still on a GPS monitor after 2 months with no chance of re-entering my career. I have an unblemished record with not so much as a traffic ticket yet it takes one person with ill intent to ruin my life. While I am confident of winning this case, the damage is irreparable and leads to even more lawsuits to regain some normalcy in the wrongfully accused.
the law should keep and beaware of women trying to get back at a ex boyfriend cause theres nothing a man can do once he has been arrested and facing either probation or jail time for something that never happened .and the da blandly keep persuing the accuse even if the offence never happened and the women gets away with it never for her to be punshished for putting a innocent person behide bar wasting the states money and taxpayers money to never to find out it was all revenge that can be done to a man and the courts and cops make it difficult for any of the truth come out once the man has behide bars making them the man look bad and the whos gonna believe u kind of deal .... and its truth that comes out after countless amounts of money to protect from going to jail ..something needs to be done please !!!!!listen for once .....this cant keep going on .everyother laws have been changed but when its something to protect the innocent man nothing ever gets done .they got to realize it happens more than often ...
The mother of my children had just finished punching and spitting in my face then called the police once she got to our house from her cousins where he witnessed her doing this to me and claimed I hit her ( Because she wanted to sleep with other guys but I was expected to be monogamous to her only)even after 3 hours later admitting to me not touching her in any way shape or form because her cousin threatened to get involved nothing was done to her and I received 4 years probation 2 years later I broke my neck leaving me quadriplegic upon returning home she punched me in my jaw 6 months after major surgery on my neck to save my life. This is still on my record and nothing has been done to her legally or judicially for lying
I was falsely accused by a sociopathic woman of domestic violence, after she punched me in the face. The police believed her story, even though she had dozens of prior convictions for violence, robbery and extortion. She took my house, stole my credit cards, stole my personal belongings, and used the court system as a game prolonging the truth from coming out. After 1 year, the courts finally realized their error, evicted her, gave me a restraining order against her and dropped all charges against me. However this cost me $160,000, all because of the following;

1. Police make arrests and ask questions later.

2. Police and courts do not run an easy police/court checks on the alleged victim to verify the validity of the claims before making an arrest.

3. Education of judges and police, so that they understand that false allegations are more common that true allegations.

4. Set prison time for people that make false allegations, as the same as the allegations they are making. Eg if someone accuses the other of attempted murder, they should serve the same sentence that the innocent person they accused would have to serve if falsely convicted.

These are logical checks, that should be made as I read that 80% of allegations of abuse are false.
please see petition( Washington State Department of Social and Health Services) they are black marketing our children and legally abducting our children!!!! it has got to stop.
It is very sad that in fl corporal punishment can be used on a child...... but you cant brush wife OF 36 yrs shoulder exiting a door with out it being considered domestic violence.
Ann Arbor, MI is destroying men's lives. Conflict of interest exist, DA was/is on state funded protective agency board. Judge was on rehab board. Same sentencing. POs bully.
NJ needs legislation that would make perjury a crime in DV court system. As it stands now, the alleged victim has no accountability whatsoever for what is said, therefore lieing becomes commonplace in FM/DV court system, and Judges do nothing about it at all!!!
I haven't seen my four kids since Thanksgiving weekend, 2013. It is now Feb 19th, 2014. There is one exception where I took my kids Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve. And the wife called the police on me eight days later to get me put in jail. I'm appealing the final judgment of injunction, but appeals take months, if not years. Please stop this madness. I have never laid a hand on my wife of 14 years nor my four kids.
the police twisted words around and I dont even remember anything of the incedent even happening all
I am going through this same issue right now my words were twisted now my boyfriend is in jail but they wont listen to me i dont know what to do. The law is not helpful
the police officer falsified a police report wife denies saying any of the comments in police report.
The system is broken. we need to honor the saying '
innocent until proven guilty.
Women use this because they know they can. Men have been abused enough in this country and it should stop now! We all know this to be true.
in my case any due dilligence would have stopped it
It happened to me, he lied said I drank and passed out every night and beat my child. I would like to know how I could do both much less one on each night, was absolutely false and everyone knows it...so lets keep him away from the "good parent" and for 5 months now has been with the verbally abusive alcoholic one....anothetr $5000. for an attorney....Fayetteville should be ashamed......
Someone I know was falsely accused by a woman who got mad when the relationship didn't go how she wanted it to, she had him arrested and got a restraining order, she used the restraining order to continually harass the man and he could not do anything about it, it went to trial, she refused to testify, wanted the charges dropped, well in Western NY, the arresting officer can testify on her behalf even though he has false information, my friend had all the proof showing her allegations were false, but now they were not admissable in the court. That is what justice is and by the way she has history of doing this to other people, she knows how to work the judicial system. Amazes me how she can have someone arrested without any proof, go to the police make a false statement and you are arrested, done. When your day in court comes you are not allowed to defend yourself a judge and a police officer decide your fate or you plead guilty to a charge that had a large fine attached to it.
A false allegation of domestic violence is the acceptable way for a woman to destroy a man's life! Women who do this are destroying the credibility of women who are "truly" abused. But, what is a judge to do? Most will err on the side of caution. This could happen to your son; this issue should concern everyone!
My family has been distroyed because of false reports. The system is a joke and needs fixed fast.
My husband is currently a victim of a local PD filing a completely false report that is opposite of mine or my husband's statements. He is guilty until they will hopefully to prove him innocent. This is a backwards system!
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I am a law abiding citizen who has never been in trouble with the law. I was a stay at home mother married for 12 yrs and my husband knew my diagnosis prior to marriage. He left me and took my children and accuses me of being a danger to them. It is unfair because my mental status was never questioned while I stayed at home with children while he went away for his job. Upon the divorce he used my mental illness against me to gain custody and has ordered superviced visitation. He is also taken it upon himself to accuse me of abondoning my children because he says I am not well. He took my home, money, furniture, children and i became homeless. I have lost all of my rights because he claims I am a danger to him and the children.
Ex Parte TROs are a nuisance to the victimized parent but they are emotionally and mentally destructive to Children. Save the Children from TRO abuse!
I feel that a women, should pay a price for false allegations, and children should be protected of their rights. Children should not be traumatized, and damaged by the actions of what their mothers do to their fathers and family. Congress needs to to protect our innocent children in every possible way.
what about a woman? my ex has used the law and the justice system and destroyed my life and that of my minor children! He lied and said he had a witness to testify to his false accusations and bullied me in to a deal with the devil 8 months ago and has filed 5 emergency ex parte motions to remove my kids from imminent danger after drug testing with blood and urine at his discretion for 60-90 days with not one single dirty drug test. He has put me in debt, I lost my job, I have no money, no friends. Therapists will not help my children as they are afraid he will ruin their lives too and will not help my kids with a court order opposed to parental consent. Lawyers drop the case bc of the constant verbal abuse he does to me and eventually to them too. I have no friends left, everyone has left me and my family is far away and their hands are tied. He has told teachers and principals and camp counselors these horrible accusations and caused me to have to move to a different town. My 5 yr old told me his mind is telling him to die bc his mommy is never happy. So what about the women who dont cry wolf and leave an unhealthy marriage to save their kids and have a scorned, mentally ill, narcissistic ex husband who is torturing every single day and using the law to harass me. He is a doctor and has deep pockets and I am now in debt with no income. Had they been ethical the day of the hearing and admitted that htey had no witness anymore this would never have happened. So what about the tortured women?
what about a woman? my ex has used the law and the justice system and destroyed my life and that of my minor children! He lied and said he had a witness to testify to his false accusations and bullied me in to a deal with the devil 8 months ago and has filed 5 emergency ex parte motions to remove my kids from imminent danger after drug testing with blood and urine at his discretion for 60-90 days with not one single dirty drug test. He has put me in debt, I lost my job, I have no money, no friends. Therapists will not help my children as they are afraid he will ruin their lives too and will not help my kids with a court order opposed to parental consent. Lawyers drop the case bc of the constant verbal abuse he does to me and eventually to them too. I have no friends left, everyone has left me and my family is far away and their hands are tied. He has told teachers and principals and camp counselors these horrible accusations and caused me to have to move to a different town. My 5 yr old told me his mind is telling him to die bc his mommy is never happy. So what about the women who dont cry wolf and leave an unhealthy marriage to save their kids and have a scorned, mentally ill, narcissistic ex husband who is torturing every single day and using the law to harass me. He is a doctor and has deep pockets and I am now in debt with no income. Had they been ethical the day of the hearing and admitted that htey had no witness anymore this would never have happened. So what about the tortured women?

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