Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

6 yrs ago, my wife had an affair with my best friend. She wanted to leave...she did. But how else to get instant child support? Oh ya, he beats me.

No arrest, no evidence, no incident occurring. Yes, I wanted to. No i did nothing.

Went to Judge, charges dismissed. He actually was disgusted with her. I ended up with custody due to her trying to leave the state with my kids.

2 yrs later, against everything...we reconciled.

In may 2012 she started acting like someone else again. I took my daughter to chaperone her middle school (i am a totally devoted dad to my 3 kids) and came home. 15 mins later a sheriff at the door and i have to leave because my wife had gone down to sign an injunction because she was "abused, and in fear of her life".

My 14 years old daughter was screaming at the police "she's lying!!! my dad has never beat my mom!" and also "can i testify against my mother?"

Almost a year later I am incurring debts (not one debt even a credit card) and im sinking and half my money is going to this THINIG.

In order to appease her conscience, she has told the courts, our mutual friends, our families that i had been abusing her for years.

Did I? NEVER EVER!!! Not once!

But now I'm suffering and monetarily screwed. I cant even afford an attorney but im fighting back with everything i have legally,

This******has to stop not just for me, but all those who have been through it and WILL go through it.

Personally I would like to see her in jail for 30 days for filing a false police report. And I have looked into Civil Action.

Of course...no one cares. Once you are labeled that, it's smooth sailing for the accuser.

makes me wanna puke.

Good luck everyone
Fathers are parents too!
military men do this to their families at Ft bragg,NC courts don't charge them. wives even some worked for DOD are jailed falsely who had protective order some dead THEY DONT CARE...courts should have to along with soldier pay damages for waste of funds.

SIGN TO ENFORCE UNPAID MONEY FOR FORMER UNIFORM SPOUSES AND BENEFIS FOR ABUSE
My brother is a victim of this very thing. In a bias judicial system, they do not hear both sides. Lie detector tests and metnal evaluations need to be given to both parties to see truth. My borther could lose his job, his reputation, his military honor, because of vindictive claims. When it is already been proven as "unfound". Who is protecting his rights?? Who is protecting the child?? This needs to stop and if proven false allegations there needs to be punishment. This breaks a bond between families, a father and his child.
I cannot believe how many parents, usually mothers, make false allegations of abuse to control the other parent. They use gov. and city services to forward their own agenda of revenge, they should be prosecuted!
I was accused of 8 domestic abuse crimes in court and 5 claims of child abuse to DFS by my children's Mom. I was found not guilty, by a jury, on all 8 charges. DFS overturned on their decision on appeal, finding me innocent. I spent two years in court, lost my business, my home and my reputation. Mom kidnapped my kids and left the state prior to these false complaints, which is a felony crime. She didn't get charged because she claimed domestic abuse.
I just recently was wrongfully arrested for domestic violence and violating a no contact order what can I do now?
I just recently was wrongfully arrested for domestic violence and violating a no contact order what can I do now?
I was falsely accused of grabbing my husband and jerking him across our kitchen. He got a protective order against me because he doesn't want to get divorced and I had given him separation papers. This has ruined my life at this time. Something needs to be done to have more "proof" of allegations, not just someone's word. The magistrate has never seen me, so has no idea I could not do this. I believe that people need to be protected against violence, but just giving out protective orders with no evidence is not the way.
I have been involved in several cases where I have seen false charges made against the men, and even after proven false...no consequences for the woman. This even includes what seems to be a commonly used weapon used against the man...accuse them of abusing their children. It would seem the intent is to keep the man so busy fighting the charges of abuse...they can't challenge the divorce or the domestic violence charges.
My gf got arrested for a slap during a heat of the arguement. The police were called to help calm the noise but instead arrest her when the Slap was mentioned. Further more the police lied to me and Said she would not be freed unless i write a report. Which now theyre using against. Now we face A no contact order between us and they tried to only lower her bail instead of ROR just because we just moved here a month Ago and have no "community history" even though she had no criminal record. Now i learned that i cant even trust The police who are supposedly there to serve and protect. But they much rather have an Arrest And A paycheck.
Its time we stop false allegations of abuse. For some its a way to gain atvantage over custody issue's, and it's wrong. Its wrong for our children. They are the one's it hurts most . And live's are ruined. Danny Harper
I am a 48 year old US Army Lieutenant Colonel. My wife, the person guilty of false accusations, and I married when I was 39. In 2009, I went to Afghanistan for a year. Upon my return, she no longer wanted our relationship and is using false allegations to take our two children, her naturalized citizenship (as a result of our marriage), and the support payments and go back to France.
I was falsey accused by a so called man & I understand the strees, hurt and frustration not to mention the money it will cost me to more than likely end up taking a plea! These cases need to be taken on a case by case basis! Once you are acused its like you have no voice and it feels as though I am guilty without any chance of trying to prove my innocence!!!
I was arrested for pushing my girlsfriend, which I didn't, I couldn't get a call out, they moved me from cell to cell, I didn't get my glasses, they put a $50,000 bail, I had no criminal record, the public defender told me that if I didn't plead guilty that I would wait 3months for trial. He told me it was only a misdeamenor, idiot here pleard guilty, that destroyed my life. We have the best criminal justice system that money can buy. This law needs to be repealed ASAP!
I'veNEVER hit a women in my life ! Nor was my wife afraid of me physically. Yet I was arrested two times for domestic battery , and 4 retraining orders. The last one also included my daughter. Every claim is false ! No witnesses , no marks or bruises , myself never present when she called the police . Yet , despite also no history of prior domestic violence . They arrest me , order me to attend domestic violence classes I must pay for; then the State Attorney drops the charges. but they say I must still complete the domestic violence classes and pay for them. Which , I cant afford plus its a painful class as Im called a liar and told im in denial. So I don't go anymore and excpect to be given jail time for contempt. The State of Florida and my mentally ill wife have destroyed me jailed me for a crime I never committed. Jail is quite appropriate as I am filled with nothing but contempt for a courthouse and legal cowards
Just one false allegation could cost nearly $500,000 in payroll costs for the city & county for police, sheriffs, district attorneys, judges, court staff, jail staff, and public defenders - all of which comes from the tax dollars all working adults put into the system.

These costs do not include other attorney fees such as criminal and civil defense attorneys which comes from the defendants personally that one has to pay in order to defend one's self as well as any bail bonding fees, as well. Not to mention time misses from work and other living expenses forced upon the accused if/when kicked out of their own homes.

Domestic Violence calls to the police FAR outweigh all other calls received, and I do not believe that there are that many violent human beings within our society; something needs to be done!!!
Having seen both sides of this issue, I can say there needs to be fairness in domestic violence cases. It would seem in this state the woman only has to shed a few tears and the judge becomes her greatest advocate. Perjury is the norm.
There are too many accusers who ruin lives with malicious intent. Protect the accused until proven guilty.
Our legal system does not seem to employ common sense. Instead of using the scales of justice it uses a pendulum. This allows for those who are criminals to go free while those who are innocent suffer. I am shocked that this atrocity is being allowed to continue.
Our legal system does not seem to employ common sense. Instead of using the scales of justice it uses a pendulum. This allows for those who are criminals to go free while those who are innocent suffer. I am shocked that this atrocity is being allowed to continue.
This is an epidemic which must be stopped. So many lives are ruined when the real victims of abuse and DV need the resources.
Our family, and especially my son, has been harassed by his ex-wife and her mother for years. They lie, misuse the law and manage to convince others for short periods of time that he's abusive. He's always found innocent and has been granted full custody of the child. Still, they persist and a local judge even gave grandparents rights to the ex-mother in law despite the fact that my son granted her supervised visitation whenever she wanted it. The ex-wife is a fugitive and has tried to abduct the child in the past. These laws MUST be changed!
couldn't have said it better myself my daughter is a cronic lier and her boy friend and her lied about me. I have two counts of 4th degree assault against me pending as of now. my public defender wont take any info. that I gathered for her for my case. says I am the one on trial not them. I have been unemployed for over two years. I can hardly pay my bills and cant afford an attorney. oh did I mention I am disabled I have to walk with a cane
couldn't have said it better myself
Situations of false allegations hurt the innocent, and take focus away from REAL situations of domestic violence.
I live in Lou, KY my son has now served almost a month in jail, my soon to be ex daughter-in-law took out a false epo, turned around the next day and come back to my sons home. My son caught her cheating on him, got upset, she called the police they believed her. His next couet date is 3/6/13, I prey he gets out and gets on with his life and gets the kids.
I have been living through this nightmare scenario for almost 2 years now, and I am sad to see that it is not uncommon at all. My wife has used the false domestic violence accusation tactic against me twice in order to have me removed from our house that we share with our 4 children. She dismissed her first petition, after I agreed to all of her demands regarding financials and living conditions. I did this under extreme duress whereby I would be looking at a criminal record and a possibility of not being able to see or provide for my children. She filed her second petition on the eve of a mediation session with her lawyer, with the intention of clouding the entire divorce proceeding to favor her outcome. Luckily I fought the second one and it was dismissed by the court after her testimony under oath showed no grounds. However it still lingers as a factor in our upcoming divorce trial. Neither of her petitions cited any physical violence, but instead relied on her inner uncomfortableness and fear from her own warped imagination. There has to be a better way to exercise justice in the divorce courts, especially when a woman who is married for 25 years just decides she does not want to be married anymore, which is fine, but also decides to destroy the spouse who is trying to preserve the family.
Mys son is now dealing with a false PFA, filed 9 days after he filed for 50/50 custody. Clearly his wife did this for vindictive reasons only, absolutely no proof. Now my son must try to prove he is innocent. It is so unfair. All he wanted was to continue to be a part of his daughter's life.
I have been battleing a 17 1/2 year legal battle with my ex husband. For the past 17 1/2 years he has made faults hotline calls to the child abuse hotline. everyone have turned out nothing found and no charges against me. I was a member of bikers against child abuse, I am the founder of Oklahoma guardians of the children chapter, I adopted a baby, I have a coc. all of these require state and federal background checks. sounds like we the people (victims) need to start a federal or your state lawsuit to clear our names.
Due to my military experience I was accused by my 220 lb husband I was beating him. (I am 110 lb) I told him I was tired of his abuse and the marriage was over. So he decided to claim I am the abuser and was granted a DVO - BASED on my military experience - I served honorably in the United States Marines Corps - The system has failed me, I wanted away from his emotional and physical abuse yet due to my military service I was made out the abuser. It is not right to come home, be a functional individual in society - with no criminal record and then have the system turn on you because of someone's revenge to "get you back."
My ex-wife brags about it. See the Abused Men's Area.
False accusations of domestic violence are the worst kind of insult to those who truly suffer from this abuse.
I was falsley accused, arrrested, and convicted of DV harassment after finding out and revealing my girlfriends. Affair to a married coworker. My life is forever changed. It didn't bseem to matter to anyone that this complaint was completely retalitory.
I was falsley accused, arrrested, and convicted of DV harassment after finding out and revealing my girlfriends. Affair to a married coworker. My life is forever changed. It didn't bseem to matter to anyone that this complaint was completely retalitory.
My sister has falsely accused her husband of abuse. She is has borderline personality disorder and intelligent, and he is now in his third pretrial hearing. Not once has the judge asked for evidence. Not once has he listened for a psych eval of her. I am appalled that she gets away with this, and appalled that it hurts the real victims.
I was recently accused of domestic violence so the woman could gain full control and custody of my child. Now I have lost months of my life and money on a lawyer to take the evidence I have proving my innocence to the light of day. This is a nightmare situation and needs to be stopped.
i am an innocent man being accused of domestic violence my soon to be x wife is fighting for custody of my son and is throwing out so many lyes its rediculouse becouse of her lyes im going to loos custody and the worst part is she is the domestically violent person in our relationship i have proof and everything she has no proof but the courts are taking her word on it
I see this every day and the parents who participate and activate these investigations should be punished so the messafgge is sent this is serious and the damage to the children is irreparable.
I come from a state that rewards sociopathic women and men in our judicial system. With regard to false abuse claims I moved from a city in Indiana lauded for architecture that has a shelter that is a ridiculous charity for the rich that tells all to file restraining orders including my last two divorces I filed for where I was the abuse victim. The last one almost did me in because I am disabled but I have been preyed upon by every sociopath in town because I was a professional who they thought had money. Of course my first marraige of 14 years needed to end but it seems that once people move here to start their lives all of their marraiges end after observing the news for years. The local attorneys and a couple of local counselors have been running a good scam for 30 years even preying on so-called friends. The first divorce served as a recipe for the next two because I was supposed to move but did not. It is disgraceful because the system is set up to to make it hard for those who are being abused to be heard, believed, and kept anonymous. I had film and and audio when I moved out last time and my attorney said they would arrest me because I was a doctor for the headlines, and previous caselaw of false arrest. I have audio of being choked and putting car in gear and getting out only to walk home to a locked house. recently after a public altercation a man jumped out of a car and was ran over by the deputy who responded and no charges were filed to even see what was going on in the car or at home with the woman but I would suspect he was under duress. This special prosecutor was prosecutor of the year and to make matters worse use to live next to my oldest brother who we caught trying to steal moms estate from her after kicking me of as coexecutor who was working with my abusive ex a sociopathic social worker. With prosecutors like this we should change our name to Floridiartica. someone formerly from Columbus, Indiana.
MY FEDERAL REPRESENTATIVES TELL ME THIS IS NOT THEIR PROBLEM BUT RATHER A STATE MATTER, WE NEED TO PETITION OUR STATE REPS
My ex has filed for P.O. In the past and successfully managed to get it granted On me under false accusations and fortunately I managed to get it dismissed not even two months after the hearing then now about a year after she falsified another P.O. In another county just for custody of our daughter as I was severed a motion to modify custody minutes before the P.O. Hearing even though the claims she had made are untrue they aren't even in the domestic violence category but the fact that she has went through college for social work and had previously worked for a domestic violence shelter then became a person in charge of another domestic violence shelter seems to rid me of any fair defense in front of the commissioner which won't allow an evidential hearing nor testimony which doesn't leave any opportunity for the truth to be heard or even proven. even though I have successfully proven in the past that I am not a threat as she was the perpetrator.
My ex has filed for P.O. In the past and successfully managed to get it granted On me under false accusations and fortunately I managed to get it dismissed not even two months after the hearing then now about a year after she falsified another P.O. In another county just for custody of our daughter as I was severed a motion to modify custody minutes before the P.O. Hearing even though the claims she had made are untrue they aren't even in the domestic violence category but the fact that she has went through college for social work and had previously worked for a domestic violence shelter then became a person in charge of another domestic violence shelter seems to rid me of any fair defense in front of the commissioner which won't allow an evidential hearing nor testimony which doesn't leave any opportunity for the truth to be heard or even proven. I've filed for an appeal awaiting for a fair chance to be heard.
I am asking for a class action suit against the state of Iowa for discrimination against the iowa legal aid services and the Iowa department of Child support and the Iowa domestic violence program. these agencies are discriminative against men. their documentation and pictures are discriminative as they show women and children, have dialogue stating "she" her" she her, this type of verbiage starts in washington and works out to the state therefore I hold the washington offices just as responsible. the iowa legal aid stated taht they could not help my father defend against a wicked women, I made three contacts and spoke to perosn after person about getting my 72 year old father who has a women using a no contact order as a stratigic and tactical advantage and teh legal aid refused to hlep on the grounds htey don't help with these kinds of case, well what do you know now only do they help the women who we needed help against but they were able to come up with three different attorneys to help ths women with hte very same case that they refused to help a man, my father on on the grounds they don't help with these types of cases. Do you know how many men who are owed child support from women that the child support office does not go after these poeple dilegently but they go after men full force doubled barreled. we have proof that the state of iowa lied about child support payments and stole them by refusing ot return over payments and then tried to cover it up. can we make these men any more victimed by our government and the ones we are paying to do theier jobs! in stead we are writing up laws making men guilty before they can even be given a chance to rpove the women is falsefieing hte documents, how many pamphles are handed out to men for domestic abuse from thier spouses, how many pictures do you see on these domestic violence websites of men and their children oh no lets not be truthful, I guess these organizations don't get as much money defending men or getting dontations for abused men, but bygolly you can sure rake it in as organizations and government for funding if you can get a bunch of women having at it. and this is exactly what has happend. I am a women writing this and I have watched three men suffer in my lifetime at the hands of the DHS, at the hands of child support at the hands of legal aid denials, being lied to and cheated from the governemnt offices, but this kind of abuse has got to stop. I am fighting for the rights of three men and aI can't tell you how much the state agencies are wililing to lie to cover up the discriminatory acts and down right theft and cover up of doing so to get what they want an screw you. this has been clearly done when the man was made to pay his child support in advance by the child support office and then told it was spend on arrears and then it was kept in case you ever got behind. men are being screwed here totally and what are you going to do about it. I am filing a full blown suit against the
Hello,

I was charged with a Domestic Violence back in 1997 by my now ex-wife(Yes we have kids). I was young and dumb at the time

but I never hit her... At the time that she claims I "assaulted her" I was in my early 20's and had 4-5 witnesses that she

was the one tossing punches on me after I told her I was done and wanted a Divorce. I told one of my friends to take my kids

into the back room so they would not see/hear this and they did so as quickly as they could while my ex did try and keep

them in the room.

She began swinging over and over hitting me in the face , arms and back. I blocked her attacks and held her from behind.

(Defending myself without hitting or leaving marks) After this she walked to the couch with a big smile saying "You just hit

me". At this time the other people in the house (Friends we both worked with) began telling her "good luck with that , he

never hit you".

After this I walked out and just stayed clear of her the rest of that night. She seemed fine the next few days and and we

did not talk much at all. 3-4 days after this had happened she went to visit her Mother and never came home. Later that

Night the Police came and arrested me for Domestic Violence and I was hand cuffed. The police took my statement and all of

the witness statements.

After reading all of them they stated that ours all matched perfectly and could not see me being charged but that was up to

the courts to handle now. I was transferred to the Court House Jail where I spent the Night.

I had never been in jail for anything and I was really freaking out. I did not talk to anyone the next morning and waited

till I was brought into a room where the ADA came in and began to tell me that Illinois law says "If I lay hands on anyone

in a house hold while in a heated verbal fight , I was guilty of assault". I told her that I was being struck over and over

and she said "If we had a red mark to prove this then we might be able to do something but otherwise it does not prove

anything". She then shows me a picture of my wife and she had a small bruise on her knee.(About the size of a dime or a

Quarter)

At this time I pointed out how stupid this looks. I said "So let me get this right... I got mad and said "That's it *****" ,

knelt down and punched her in the knee?". The ADA laughed and said it did not matter how I looked at it and that I would be

found guilty. She told me I could enter a guilty plea and get court supervision and this would all go away. I told her I was

not guilty of any wrong doing and she then tells me "Look if we do a deal you go home but if we do not strike a deal you go

back in lock up".So if I am guilty I go free but if I am innocent I go back to jail... anyone else find this screwed up?

(When I asked for an attorney I was told I did not need an attorney due to they were not seeking Prison time)

Again I was young and dumb... I signed her
Hello,

I was charged with a Domestic Violence back in 1997 by my now ex-wife(Yes we have kids). I was young and dumb at the time

but I never hit her... At the time that she claims I "assaulted her" I was in my early 20's and had 4-5 witnesses that she

was the one tossing punches on me after I told her I was done and wanted a Divorce. I told one of my friends to take my kids

into the back room so they would not see/hear this and they did so as quickly as they could while my ex did try and keep

them in the room.

She began swinging over and over hitting me in the face , arms and back. I blocked her attacks and held her from behind.

(Defending myself without hitting or leaving marks) After this she walked to the couch with a big smile saying "You just hit

me". At this time the other people in the house (Friends we both worked with) began telling her "good luck with that , he

never hit you".

After this I walked out and just stayed clear of her the rest of that night. She seemed fine the next few days and and we

did not talk much at all. 3-4 days after this had happened she went to visit her Mother and never came home. Later that

Night the Police came and arrested me for Domestic Violence and I was hand cuffed. The police took my statement and all of

the witness statements.

After reading all of them they stated that ours all matched perfectly and could not see me being charged but that was up to

the courts to handle now. I was transferred to the Court House Jail where I spent the Night.

I had never been in jail for anything and I was really freaking out. I did not talk to anyone the next morning and waited

till I was brought into a room where the ADA came in and began to tell me that Illinois law says "If I lay hands on anyone

in a house hold while in a heated verbal fight , I was guilty of assault". I told her that I was being struck over and over

and she said "If we had a red mark to prove this then we might be able to do something but otherwise it does not prove

anything". She then shows me a picture of my wife and she had a small bruise on her knee.(About the size of a dime or a

Quarter)

At this time I pointed out how stupid this looks. I said "So let me get this right... I got mad and said "That's it *****" ,

knelt down and punched her in the knee?". The ADA laughed and said it did not matter how I looked at it and that I would be

found guilty. She told me I could enter a guilty plea and get court supervision and this would all go away. I told her I was

not guilty of any wrong doing and she then tells me "Look if we do a deal you go home but if we do not strike a deal you go

back in lock up".So if I am guilty I go free but if I am innocent I go back to jail... anyone else find this screwed up?

(When I asked for an attorney I was told I did not need an attorney due to they were not seeking Prison time)

Again I was young and dumb... I signed her
My son is being treated falsely and can not even see the kids and she will not let me see them either.
Going to court this Friday. Not sure what to expect.

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