Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

My ex girlfriend could not take the fact that i wanted to break up with her one night. I had been drinking and i told her i wanted to leave. As i was putting on my shoes she ranup to me pushing and slapping saying "NO I WONT LET U LEAVE ME!" She was holding me against my will and i didnt know what to do. I slapped her twice on the face an left. She then called the cops saying i punched he multiple time and strangled her. I was arrested for aggrovated domestic assault and contributing to a minor. I then spent a week in jail and got bailed out. I now await court, looking at possible prison time or a Minimal 6 months in jail. All because she is making a mountain out of an ant hill.
I know that love makes you do things that sometimes you regrets, this is my "4" time I see my self in this situation, My wife just we disagreed in a decision, she just goes out call the police, and out I go. Lost of respect, money, friends, it hurts my real loved ones. Lest make really effective law. I hate when I hear of a "man" that hits a woman, and this law doesn't help her anyways.
A friend of mine is going through this right now. He is facing a lot of false charges and could really use support from anyone who has experience with these matters.
I know this himand he is not who this woman is claiming he is. I would die for This man and there is nothing I can do to help. I'm asking if there is anyone out there that would take a moment to hear his story. All I ask is for your time, help and opinion.

With upmost sincerity,
Timothy Jones
i am a victim of this lie. i was accused of domestic violence when i broke up with my girlfriend. this happened in 2010. she called the cops because i was breaking up with her and wanted to leave. they threw me in jail and dragged me through the court system. costing me thousands of dollars and now i have this on my record. just for breaking up with her. its ridiculous. i think this is a money scam. because it sure isn't justice.
Used as a sword not a shield.
Taking the low road, may be easier, but perpetuates circumstantial injustice
Ex parte orders and Department of Children Services processes are both unconstitutional.
I was falsely accused of do in 2010 and had everything taken away from me. I do have joint custody of my two kids but they are used as bribes and collateral. I have to pay $1200.00 a month in child support and I don't make alot of money. I went thru 29 weeks of anger management and a year of probation because my ex cheated on me and didn't want to take responsibility for her actions. Wanted to be the victim.
I have recently been falsely accused ot domestic violence. This article seems to speak directly to me. The woman who shall not be named accused me of this heinous act as she was suspicious of me leaving her. I had been discussing with several friends about the fact that I was going to leave. However, I foolishly stuck around because she could not afford the apartment herself. I wish I would have left earlier before she escalated her erratic behavior, unfortunately she is mentally ill ( Bi-Polar disorder) so I could not accurately predict how she would act from moment to moment. I am unable to afford an attorney all of my material belongings are in her apartment and I am forced to beg a friend to sleep on their living room floor as I try to sort this out. Innocent people get accused and wrongly convicted too often. I am proof, all you can do is hold back the tears, raise your chin high and move forward.
Due to my own recent experience, I have noticed that judges are now becoming bias when it comes to domestic abuse disputes. When a woman lies about being abused, the judge and the whole court system seems to automatically take her side. At that point I felt I couldn't even tell what actually happened because the judge had already made up his mind. I was always under the impression that when you are accused of a crime, you are innocent until proven guilty. This does not seem to be the case anymore in domestic dispute charges where the woman straight up lies about what happened. Don't get me wrong, I know that plenty of women are actually abused by their boyfriends or husbands; which is sick and wrong; however, that is not always the case. Especially when dealing with a pathological lying, drug addicted ex-girlfriend who will say anything in order to get exactly what she wants. In these particular cases, there is a flaw that needs to be fixed in the justice system. One lie in the court room regarding the domestic dispute can cripple the guys whole life. I am now learning this through personal experience and I hope this changes in the future.
Monmouth County family court are bias against men and do not see the web of lies my ex wife tells along with the mental abuse she is causing both my daughters it's a disgrace. This battle has been going on for years. She has also accused me of fLse domestic violence where I was facing 10 years. The judges wanted to hang me all on account of her fabricated story. I took it to trial and thank God for the jury, evidence did not add up
I was a victim of false domestic abuse by a woman who used me to get a green card. We were only married for 5 months until the day after she received her green card approval from USCIS. Now I'm stuck with false charges and she is getting her green card, my money, child support and I'm stuck with the shame, guilt and a criminal charge. The sad part is that she claimed I pushed her. There were no marks or evidence of abuse what so ever. NOT FAIR I'M BEING TREATED LIKE A CRIMINAL FOR SOMETHING I DID NOT DO. Fairfax Virgina.
My son is going thru this right now. They have added other charges too. His girlfriend has told the DA she wants the charges dropped but they will not do it. The worst thing is that they are bringing the children into it & threatening their mother to take the children away if she doesn't cooperate with the DA. They have already sent DHS to the school & their home. And they are attacking my son saying he is a bad parent which is not true. He's never ever harmed his kids or the girlfriend. What do you do? Its a nightmare!
How my partner has been treated without evidence, without cause, and the harm caused by the courts to his daughter for his ex's manipulations is unconscionable. Men are targeted because of their gender alone whereas women are presumed innocent because of theirs. The institutional bias must end.
Going through this with my son now his life is ruined by a girl who lied I am spending all my money to show she not being truthful having been abused I know the power the court gives her and constitutional rights for my son are none he is guilty before court this is not how our founding fathers ment it to be
My boyfriend was falsely accused by his soon to be ex-wife. She also lied in her statements & was actually the one who abused him which is clear in his mug shot!! He had to take a plea bargain or he faced up to 5 years in jail for a crime he did NOT commit!! She is also keeping their young son away from him!! The lying must stop!! Just because you're a "woman scorned" or didn't get your way doesn't mean you should have the right to put a man in jail!!! I want to start a campaign to have his probation dropped or force her to take a polygraph to prove she committed perjury!! This injustice MUST stop! #justice4jon
My ex used her first dropped/perjured TPO as the basis for another new one! Stop the abuse against innocent fathers.
My husband is having the same issues with his ex lying in Virginia.
My fiancÚ is falsely accused of domestic violence due to a woman who is forcing a relationship out of him so she being conniving, dishonorable, and vindictive towards him. He has a woman judge and there is being a bias towards it due to the accusations and her being woman. There is no evidence or proof he did anything. It's just the so called "victims" word against the accuser . It is highly unfair and the courts need to go by facts and reason instead of words and accusations. Men are not the only dangerous human beings out here , women contain power too and many take advantage of their powers by crying wolf. There must be a change of act.
I believe its true; "that person who needed an order of protection ,it could not have protected anyhow , by the time the police get there it's too late." These Narcistic OP loving fools are manipulating peoples lives over and over again. It's a shame that Peoria County Circuit Court in IL would probably be the best place to proove that Letterman joke.
I believe its true; "that person who needed an order of protection ,it could not have protected anyhow , by the time the police get there it's too late." These Narcistic OP loving fools are manipulating peoples lives over and over again. It's a shame that Peoria County Circuit Court in IL would probably be the best place to proove that Letterman joke.
I was sexually abused at the age of 16 by a 24 year old lady.It was my first time so i liked it. we continued and i loved it. she ended up having twins by me. i was 17 she was 25. of course my mom didn't approve, so she fled town moved away. after having the bays a year went by she needed a place to live.my parents where okey with it if they were mine, they were so we reunited i was 18 she was 26. man i was head over hills didn't see the signs. well she was violent, name calling, controlling, you name it she did it. well i work hard three long year along with the physical, mental, and emotional stress. she didn't have to work i took care of it all. but she calmed i was the abuser i was doing so wrong i took care of her, her two boys from another guy whom she abused and got him jail time as well and twins and my Jr. I had to leave before it got more out of hand i left had no choice, either dead or jail had no help so i got on a bus and left. she calm i abused her an all i ever wanted was to take care of her and my kids, because my dad wasn't around for me. Now I see why. she even went to a abusive home shelter like she the victim. she could have stayed in the house but she abusing the system, well now the dfax people call me telling me she starting trouble there and wanted to know if i wanted my kids of course i do. Lord knows i do. ever dog has there day. Some one Please help men like me I'm 22 now and she 30. i got to do something with my life to be there for my boys so this don't happen to them. lets stop this madness. im hereto tell my story it was short and didnt involve much detail but trust me other men are dead or in jail and wont get tell a peice of theirs. I stand today to fight tomorrow with all the abused men men of america. Thank you
My brothers wife accused him of sexual abuse against their young daughter. My brother is a hardworking, Godly man who has never once been in trouble with the law. My brother was asked to stop by detention center for questioning, he was immediately placed in handcuffs and unable to say one word.
Within the first month of him being held in the detention center his wife (who has been arrested a couple times for domestic abuse against my brother) had already moved on with other men and wiped out his bank account just before submitting the divorce papers. My brother wasn't left with a dime to hire an attorney, or even buy a toothbrush and toothpaste. It's been 6 months...my brother has been asking every day to take a polygraph. He has been to court dates and awaiting trial. He has turned down deal offers for 10 years knowing he could be facing life. Will good prevail? I'm scared to say I don't know, because I know now more than ever that life is not fair.
My son is in this mess as we speak. Tried to break off a relationship, been accused of abuse twice. Hes been hit but wont turn her in because she has a child from previous. Shes crying wolf and hes paying the price!
Without a father, how does a boy learn to become a father? How does a daughter know what to look for in a man?
DV conviction look good on all kinds of resumes and reports, except that of the citizens falsely accused. DV by women is nationwide applauded in news-shows and reality shows such as Jerry S. Maury, Steve and so on. Everyday people watch this as entertainment and we all know its "fake".....just as fake as the computer-games which are said to be the cause of school-shootings.
Domestic Violence is an political and media industry in the USA.
My ex the mother of my two daughters was being investigated by cps and during that investigation she took out a order of protection on whenever I am around my ex or her family I voice record everything that is said my lawyer has said I have the best evidence for a not guilty verdict he has ever had to work with but says I will most likely lose and with that I lose my children my job my life
All because of lies and now my money is running out. I use to believe in truth and justice now all I know is lies win
My husband is doing this to me right now.He took our child while I was at work and is saying all these things I have done to him and our child. Its ALL lies but I haven't seen our child for 17 days now. I thought if I did every thing right that it would all be ok but now I am so scared I will never see my baby again. She is only 2 .
I've seen this so many times. Its unfortunate that law abiding citizens can be subjected to such harsh charges.
These laws need to change. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it, unbelievably cruel and unjust!
This is true it
Are there any groups in Fresno or Visala, CA area forming to aggressively get this on the fast track ?
I personally have been accused of domestic violence and worse, and I have been investigated. All of these accusations have been unfounded by investigators and four separate courts have found that no domestic violence has ever taken place. However, to this day I am still being treated as a perpetrator of domestic violence and my children have been systematically taken from me. My current court situation regarding these accusations has not allowed me to defend against or provide evidence that proves perjury in court by those making these accusations in the court room. The Judge involved has denied everything that would prove all accusations have been false, in order to protect those that have committed perjury in court, including the judges own conflict of interest. The most disturbing part of this is that the children involved are not getting any consideration by the court or other authority figures. They're focus has been solely on the one falsely making these accusations causing tremendous harm to the children involved by delaying any resolution.
This is a major problem in New Jersey. I have been falsely accused of domestic violence over 20 times. I have been arrested due to false allegations of domestic violence 3 times. I have no criminal record and never committed a crime in my life. NJ state courts refuse to acknowledge false complaints of domestic violence or provide any recourse besides attorney's fees(rare). My family has spent $100,000 in legal fees for my defense of false allegations of d.v. Now I represent myself because my ex was successful with the help of the courts to deplete all my money and my family's money. I've never lost a trial. I've witnessed over 100 other d.v. trials. 90% were dismissed because there was no domestic violence. Just people abusing the extraordinary application. Even in NJ case-law there is only a brief mention of misuse of the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act by the NJ supreme court from a 1997 case STATE V. HOFFMAN. It is my belief that the state does not acknowledge the numerous amount of false allegations because they are a major promotion of the legal industry. I live in the constant fear that I will be arrested at anytime even though I've never and will never violate the law. When I am outside my residence and I see a police vehicle driving down the street I run inside the house because I am afraid of going to jail for false allegations. I've been threatened, bullied, and intimated by the police which was prompted by my ex girlfriend who is determined to destroy my relationship with my daughter. My dream now is to have a peaceful life with freedom and liberties where I can parent my daughter. So far it is not looking propitious at all. Please pass legislation that will make it a crime to file a false complaint of domestic violence to a court.
This is a major problem in New Jersey. I have been falsely accused of domestic violence over 20 times. I have been arrested due to false allegations of domestic violence 3 times. I have no criminal record and never committed a crime in my life. NJ state courts refuse to acknowledge false complaints of domestic violence or provide any recourse besides attorney's fees(rare). My family has spent $100,000 in legal fees for my defense of false allegations of d.v. Now I represent myself because my ex was successful with the help of the courts to deplete all my money and my family's money. I've never lost a trial. I've witnessed over 100 other d.v. trials. 90% were dismissed because there was no domestic violence. Just people abusing the extraordinary application. Even in NJ case-law there is only a brief mention of misuse of the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act by the NJ supreme court from a 1997 case STATE V. HOFFMAN. It is my belief that the state does not acknowledge the numerous amount of false allegations because they are a major promotion of the legal industry. I live in the constant fear that I will be arrested at anytime even though I've never and will never violate the law. When I am outside my residence and I see a police vehicle driving down the street I run inside the house because I am afraid of going to jail for false allegations. I've been threatened, bullied, and intimated by the police which was prompted by my ex girlfriend who is determined to destroy my relationship with my daughter. My dream now is to have a peaceful life with freedom and liberties where I can parent my daughter. So far it is not looking propitious at all. Please pass legislation that will make it a crime to file a false complaint of domestic violence to a court.
For those of us who are victims and have since moved on, false allegations of abuse towards our spouses from past relationships is not only damaging to the accused, but damaging to us. For three years my husband and I have been under scrutiny, our parenting insulted, our finances strained paying support and court costs, and his relationship with his children damaged. This is not to mention the strain on our marriage as a result of confusion, financial concerns, and stigma. My daughter should not have to grow up being told that her father was a batterer and a danger to her when he has raised her in an environment that is quite the opposite. It's wrong and it needs to come to an end.
Not only the allegations were exaggarated but also the police made up a statement I took my Miranda rights but that was never recorded) and then the prosecutor lied about the injuries, medical report and even had photo-shopped pictures. My attorney advised me to just plead guilty and the prosecutor was not asking for jail. At sentencing he changed his mind, asked for 6 months jail and did not give me the chance to withdraw my plea.

The legal system does everything to get convictions so it looks good on their record and do not hesitate to lie and cheat and break the law. My injuries and evidence was never brought up by my attorney because he said it would just make everything "difficult".

The family court judge gave everything I owned to my wife during the following divorce, just an added bonus to the DV charge and I was not even convicted at that time.

Shame on the legal system and corrupt prosecutors.
Are there any national or local groups in Tampa, Florida that are standing up to the false allegations that lead to domestic violence and stalking injunctions? If not let's get something started. Something has to be done.
I support this statement and having been in this situation, I have also met many others who have been dragged through the system and lost a large part of their lives and what they had worked for. In my case (and that of others I have met in counselling), the injuries of the stabbing I sustained where not recorded by police but the bruise on her wrists where I had held her to stop, where considered "physical injuries".

I do of course support the law for domestic violence but these situations are very often a tw-way street and are often used to "short cycle" a divorce where the wife will get everything including custody.
The mandatory counseling was surprising: they pretty much focus only on symptoms of "crazy women" such as signs of bi-polar, borderline and narcissistic personality disorder and advise to RUN if you recognize these situations.

It would make sense if in case of domestic violence BOTH partners would be court ordered to undergo counseling and this would help both the men and women.

But for now, its only the men that are being arrested with all dire consequenses except when the wife shot the husband.

Note: in the state of Kentucky, the domestic violence program is not open for women: they get "anger management counseling" instead in case of domestic violence.

Domestic violence involves two people and not always a "victim and perpetrator". Women know that the law however will be on their side no matter what and abuse of the system should not be tolerated.
These practices also seriously harm those women who are in truly bad situations of DV and it amazing nobody hears from them.
Its not only women making false accusations. My brother in law and sister are facing jail time and losing thier kids over several false reports made by his father. The justice system needs to look into all parties envolved including history of making false reports before they automaticly side with alledged victim. After the year it takes to prove your innocent you already lost your job home and kids. Whos the real victim?
http://pleasehelpmychildren.info/hunterdon-county-judge-refuses-to-allow-a-10-year-old-to-play-with-his-friends/
Our family was recently faced with this deplorable situation. And my son being in the military is now also facing possible repercussions with them as well. I'm sickened that a young man's whole life can be ruined by a false claim, where he was simply trying to get away from her, and hold her arms from abusing him as she was the aggressor and the one hitting and kicking him. Now we had to come up w/ $1k bail money and now must try to find a good attorney and the money for a good attorney even though she has since been clearer in her statement that he in no way was trying to harm her. She is afraid if she is clearer on her actions that caused him to hold her arms down or push her away from him, she will end up in her being charged so she is trying to minimize her actions. I am sick that even though he was only trying to get away he is now facing the loss of all he has worked for in the military, and the loss of his freedom or something on his record. Sickening. Saddening. Heartbreaking.
my childrens mom did this twice.. to me I was arresteted by both cases were thrown out.. and dismissed .. inbetween these two since she basically had me wrapped .. due to the fact I loved her and didn't want my family split I did anything she said... including going to our apartment while after the first arrest.. which a no contact order was in place automatically.. she said don't worry.. I arrived and we sat on the couch hugging and kissing .. and she said she was sorry for doing it.. then a knock on the door the police showed up in about ten minutes after my arrival.. later after it was all over and dealt with she admitted to me .. her mom was waiting outside a block away to see me show up and then notified police. the only thing I did was argue and I never touched her.. hence why both times it was thrown out and dismissed. he mother had also attempted to get her to move to live with her so she wouldn't work.. her enticement was that between her alimony from her ex husband and my childsupport they could live on that and not have to work. we were together off and on for almost twenty years.. we broke up several times.. the when we would separate we would go to court for custody.. and she would bring those things up in a declaration.. which even tho dismissed still impacted and she had custody.. eventually she moved across state and then made it very hard to see my children as she isn't required to meet me halfway as I can only see the kids for now if I go there and she has total control. before she moved I had my kids on a regular basis weekends over night ect. but when she moved to Puyallup after and to live with her mom... that is what changed my visitation.. she brought that claims into court and the guardian at litem saw fit to enact that type of partenting plan reguardless. I feel powerless.. and feel shame even though I shouldn't.. my childrens mom had charged me from across the room as I sat on the couch.. and punched me in the face as hard as possible and other times would follow me room to room screaming me and tearing me down.. I regret never calling police not once.. because I felt It would do no good cuz the fix I wanted was our family together and happy.
I WAS ONE OF THEM VICTIMS,THIS NEEDS TO STOP AND THERE IS A LOT OF MEN ABUSED BY WOMEN OUT THERE AND STILL END UP BEHIND BARS AND DESTROYED LIFES!!!!
Creating additional victims solves nothing. Could VAWA be any more wrong than the sociopath that approved it? The man who did not have sex with that woman signed off on VAWA. The same man who didn't inhale also signed off on Glass Steagal. For one do something that is just and not in your own best interest!
As a victim of false charges, I am very interested in seeing reprocussions for false allegations.
My mother filed a protective order against me because she was afraid I would talk to her children from a marriage she hid from my Dad when he met her 30 years ago. She did not want her secrets to be know in her small town. I live 2000 miles away from her, but the judge gave her the order anyway. I am a teacher.
I also was in the U.S.Army Special Forces as a support Small Arms Repairman (Gunsmith) and now I can't own any weapons due to this woman's agenda to ruin me and her false allegations! Stop these false allegations!!
I was convicted of felony domestic violence in Ohio because I didn't want to be with my wife any longer. I was trying to get my stuff from her house and was attacked by her. She then called the cops and stated I hit her when I was just trying to leave the house. This woman is trying to ruin my life any way she can. She's making false allegations years later after I divorced her and she is married yet again with her 5th baby on the way!! 3 children which were not from me! She keeps having kids to claim this on taxes and get more free money from the government. I have not seen my 2 daughters for over a year as she will not let me see them and tells them they have a new daddy yet I'm still required to pay child support!? This is a deplorable act from women across the U.S. and it needs to stop! IT NEEDS TO STOP!!!
This happened to both my son and brother. Both of these men are very respectful to all women and have never been violent in any way. My brother's ex had been married 3 times previously (and also claimed DV on 2 former spouses - which was learned when it was too late). My son's ex has 5 babies from 4 different daddies and only 2 (my grandchildren) were conceived during marriage. She has also claimed DV and rape against former 'boyfriends' and has a criminal record in FL. There was no actual evidence against by son or brother, yet Victim's of Crime (Assistance) helped both of these 'women' get away with a crime. This needs to be stopped!
Please stop this practice. It almost happened to me despite never laying a hand on my ex wife and I lost my reputation and almost my career. I am not saying domestic violence should not be taken seriously but it should be done in a lawful and fair manner as any other. In the United States, the mantra is "innocent until proven guilty" and yet men are too often falsy accused by bipolar or narcissistic women to fit their narratives to devious ends.
It happened to me.

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