Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence

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Some recent comments: these messages are published with permission of the signer.

I think if the accused can go to jail for breaking the restraining order than the accuser should face the same consequences. Too many times the women break the order, and its alright. Its a very one sided law that should apply to both parties.
It's not just men this happens to. People DO abuse these laws; and aren't always legitimate. But these fraudulent retaliatory reactions aren't taken seriously. It's become too easy to accuse; and too difficult to defend oneself from accusations. It's gotten ridiculous. I've seen so many posts that suggest that if you're the first to call 911, you're more likely to be seen as the victim. If citizens know this, than why don't officers?! Maybe there's a reason that the average officer I.Q. is 104. It's crazy!
After I got out of the military I was waiting on a Disibilty check from the VA. Aug 28,2012, I was suprise arrested after coming home from work for "beating my wife" Aug 30, my birthday a deposit to my bank account was made by the VA. Finally after days in jail I get out, and find my bank accounts empty and my house and all my tools I used to make a living at a home remodeler.
I need help My life has changed for the worse because of her and now she has left with 2 kids whom i'm told might not even be mine but florida says i have to pay for them even if they live with biological father. WTF. I NEED HELP
I was a victim of false domestic violence charges by a foreign bride and it cost me lots of money to not only to figh those false charges because I refused to sign documents for her to get Us citizenship and even though I won this court battle I was falsely arrested 3 times and my ex was never charged with perjury, all it takes is the women word with no prove of anything
I was a victim of false domestic violence charges by a foreign bride and it cost me lots of money to not only to figh those false charges because I refused to sign documents for her to get Us citizenship and even though I won this court battle I was falsely arrested 3 times and my ex was never charged with perjury, all it takes is the women word with no prove of anything
My son has been falsely accused of Domestic Abuse by his wife. Her Mother did the same to her husband. She took the children & entered an abuse shelter. He has not seen his children for 2 Months. The shelter accuses him of stalking and try to prove it with pictures of a truck in a nearby parking lot. It isn't his truck, doesn't even look like his truck, and has no lisence plate on it, but his wife said it was his. The Police called and threatened him with arrest WITHOUT EVEN INVESTIGATING! He gets harassing letters from the center threatening arrest because his wife claims he has been near the center. At his hearing for Domestic Sexual Abuse his Attorney proved his innocence YET the hearing examiner in dropping the sexual abuse put into place a 4 year TRO for Harassment!!!!?

Her Pro Bono Attorneys continue with the sexual abuse accusations constantly.

These Attorneys are trying to get his Attorney disqualified so he would need to find a new Attorney for Child Custody and a Divorce.

A Guardian Ad Litem was identified but not assigned as yet. The Family Court keeps stalling by not responding to my son's Attorney nor will her Attorneys respond. My son's Attorney said he has never seen anything like this in his long career.

It is a nightmare for him!!! These Restraining Orders are a disaster! They are far too easy to obtain, current laws are so one sided and stacked for an accuser who needs no evidence except to accuse. Nothing is investigated, people are arrested, GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT YET STILL GUILTY! This process is obscene.

The Abuse Center has basically kidnapped his children, police won't go near or enter the place. His wife uses it as a weapon to harass him, keep his kids from him, and the center has all day to turn his young impressionable kids against a father who adores them! He knows a woman who used the center and told him they are coached by that place to say in hearings & court that they "fear for their lives", that young kids are counseled to "fear Daddy" and say he scares them.

This place is supported by huge donations from businesses, private donors, and had a great deal of influence with the courts through lobbying, pressure from advocacy groups and fear by officials of alienating these advocacy groups.

Laws continue to be enacted that make it nearly impossible for a person to defend themselves: example - a recent law in Wisconsin disallows the use of any evidence to be allowed if it occurred before the date of the alleged sexual abuse. EVEN IF THAT EVIDENCE CONTRADICTS EVERY AVCUSATION!!!!! How is this Justice!!!!?

Thes laws have to be changed to require proof, demand due process, force an investigation for any restraining order, put some reasonable and common sense limits on the power of these abuse centers, punish false allegations, not allow one parent to deny children to the other, bring balance into these proceedings so fathers are not treated like criminals based on an accus
My fiancÚ was arrested at 3 am infront of my kids because his ex psycho wife decided she would claim he violated the restraining order by sending a note to her. There is no note. She was not made to provide a note..only a "witness" to this note before it just up and vanished. No questions asked he's dragged out of bed at 3 am and arrested. 48 hour hold and I can't get in touch with him. She's an abuser of restraining orders as it's been proven several times. Courts need to stop these vindictive, manipulating women!
To the person in Hyannis, MA..... She is exactly right! Basically, she can do anything she wants. The ONLY way to stop her from falsely accusing you, and having you thrown out of your OWN house with a protective order?.... Falsely accuse her FIRST! Sad, but true! Go to the courthouse and tell them you want a Protective Order because she is "abusive".... lie if you have to. The first one to make a believable accusation WINS! Yes, it IS literally that simple! Our laws are set up that way! Since you're a male, you are going to have to try a little harder to make a believable accusation, than she would... maybe cry and really do it up. Don't worry about "lying"... they have NEVER prosecuted anyone for lying under oath to get a Protective Order... its felony perjury, but they have NEVER prosecuted for Protective Orders or Restraining Orders... Yes, NEVER! 2-3 million Protective Orders issued EVERY year.... ZERO, NEVER, not a SINGLE time has ANYONE EVER been charged or prosecuted for lying to get one... Did I say NEVER? Try and prove me wrong!

You must accuse her and get a Protective Order on HER, before she does it to you!... or you will be homeless, childless, and living on the street! You will also be labeled an "abuser" and possibly go to jail, all with NO TRIAL, NO DUE PROCESS, and completely innocent! It happens EVERY single day! Very sad, but very true!

If you think she is going to falsely accuse you, the ONLY way to stop it..... is to accuse HER first! Many police officers have even TOLD me this! They know how ridiculous it is, but they will still serve the order (and kick you out of your own house) if told to do so. I know its wrong, but trust me, its the ONLY way! Its our retarded laws, that care NOTHING about innocent until proven guilty!

If you do get served with a Protective Order.... Please, please, please, do us ALL a favor.... FIND a lawyer who will CHALLENGE the constitutionality of YOUR order in COURT, and take it all the way to the Supreme Court! Not all lawyers will be willing to do this, but some will... FIND ONE! Challenge the constitutionality of YOUR order, and take it all the way to the Supreme Court! Tell your lawyer to use "crespo vs crespo" as a reference. Google: "crespo vs crespo" in New Jersey Crespo WON! It was ruled that these Protective Orders and Restraining Orders ARE unconstitutional (duh?), but it was later overturned. These orders are very rarely ever challenged in court (the constitutionality of them). We need LOTS of people in every state to do this, and they WILL be found in DIRECT violation of the US constitution... in MANY WAYS! Its a matter of time... they KNOW how ridiculous these laws are!

1. Accuse her, before she accuses you... I know its sad, but that is literally the way it works! (she already has the advantage, because she is female... its easier to believe that a female would be in "danger".... yes, female bias).

2. If you end up getting served with
Wife just threatened to call the police. I asked her '' Are you going to lie?'' She said '' I can do anything I want."' She is trying to take our kids out of our only home for 15 years. What can I do?
Fort Polk LA discriminates and select cases based on race rather than the truth. Soldiers are court martial based on hearsay without evidence. There is not a complete investigation into cases bias buddy system. Congress doesn't care I think we are wasting our time here.
My brother has 2 counts of corporal of spouse and they are trying to hive him 14 yrs.... The girl is dillusional and contradictory type of person .. Then she still claiming they are going to get married when he gets out....But she gonna let him do the 14 yes and its all her fault ...does that sound right ppl are crazy... State of California upholds this...sad cases
I am a victim of domestic violence survivor, who has had an order of protection against my abuser in 2013 and now have one newly ordered against me, falsely as a means to end a newly established administrative action for child support order. Which did not work, but it leaves me listed as an abuser. When there is no evidence to support abuse, and a judge removes 2/3 children from their mothers physical custody and gives them to a man he had previously declared judment as a domestic violence abuser. And left the third child in the home with the mother whom that judge suspects of abuse. Some one has to stop the misuse of laws intended to protect the victim. Not further the victimization.
This happens too many time especially with no evidence. I ask you to please allow every human being with the affordability of due process.
A verifiably false accusation ruined and ended my career. The false accuser has no fear of any penalty resulting from her agregious lies.
I have lived through false accusations, corruption, and discrimination from a bias court system. And it has ruined my life.
Stop protecting liars
To be experiencing this at the hand of someone who works in the system & knows how to play the system is unethical. It leaves one feeling as if they are being molested by a priest, knowing that society will only see the collar and not the crime. The psychological & emotional effects are devastating to state the least as there is nowhere to turn for assistance.
I agree with you 100% Falsely A. from Roanoke, VA.
What's more, DV's/PFA's need to be moved from "civil" proceedings to "criminal." If you aren't arrested nor being prosecuted by the DA then an order shouldn't be placed. And if the accuser is found to have committed perjury during court proceedings, which mine did, then she should be thrown in jail.
Matt P.

My situation EXACTLY.
My ex, a sociopathic narcissist, feels no remorse for false allegation against me, and having been an attorney was well aware of the disaster that was being created for me.
My ex, a sociopathic narcissist, feels no remorse for false allegation against me, and having been an attorney was well aware of the disaster that was being created for me.
Dido to all. My wife had an affair or two, decided she wanted to separate / but filed for divorce and wanted me to leave. My three children wanted house sold and her to leave. She filed for an order of protection, it "was not" a restraining order. We were only allowed to talk about or children. I stayed completely away from my home each night until 9 p.m. or later and only went home to sleep. I worked two jobs, the second to pay my son's college tuition. After order in place, she alleged a violation. I was subpoenaed to appear in family court, judge ruled in my favor, would not remove me from home or change order which infuriated her. She two weeks later cried wolf again. I returned home at 9 p.m. to have her throw a hot drink on me and then again call the Village cops. This time they sent robo-cop with a chip on his shoulder and he arrested me, class one felony for contempt. I was arrested in front of my 19 year old daughter. He refused to let me call attorney, he refused to allow me to make a phone call, he did not read me my rights and did not tell me what I was being arrested for. I represented myself, DA dropped charges. I have filed a notice of claim against robo-pig and village. It is my understanding that there are only three (3) arrestable offenses in violation of a "Restrain" from order and those are misdemeanors. The order that she had was a "Refrain" from and very limited. I was also told robo-pig needed a warrant from Court and Court could only charge me with felony contempt, however there was no basis. I am a business professional with not so much as a parking ticket . I spent 28.5 hours confined and in County jail. Not sure who orchestrated this but divorce was over in 8 months because Judge was infuriated with me? No-one would listen to me. She was able to remain in home for 3 years until my youngest graduates high school. I have to wait for house to be sold for my share (50%) of home. She was able to have her affair and not have her life change beyond me not being in it. Something so wrong with the system. I am fortunate that my older two children know the truth and have been protective of me. She has primary residence but we have joint custody. My 14 soon to be 15 year old son has been and still is my life. Now I am reduced to seeing him when I can within confines of her craziness. Cannot trust her even now that we are divorced.
I never knew things like this were possible, but it is true, it's all leverage that is used in a pending divorce to get a leg up. The true domestic violence victims have to wait because of the courts being over run by false allegations and of course the children suffer the most. Deplorable that this goes on this day and age. I know 4 other people personally that this has happened to. I am going through this now after finding my wife having a secret relationship, gave her divorce papers , I leave for a business trip and the next day she files this protective order alleging abuse the entire relationship and also to my kids. I haven't seen my boys in 2 weeks, and filed the divorce the next day when I got back from my trip she then gets an attorney and tells my attorney they will dismiss the charges if I drop the pre-nup. NO WAY, I am going to fight for my kids, they deserve that from me, I have never been accused of anything like his or even have any type of police record. This is such an abuse!!!!!!!!!
My son who loves his children is fighting for equal parenting time. His soon to be ex has tried everything in the book -Domestic violence and restraining order (both rejected) and charges him with illegal drug use for prescription drugs. When police investigated she then claimed okay they are legal but he was abusing them. It is her word against his and it has cost the city, county, and my son lots of money. Detectives had to investigate for nothing rather than go after real drug problems yet nothing happens to her. What about perjury laws? What about filing false police reports? Absolutely nothing gets done and she just keeps making stuff up. Now why would she do this? It is all about money. She wants to go back to the husband she divorced before my son because he has more money and she can spend, spend, spend with no consequences. This is a sad state of affairs.
We are going through the same thing right now. My fiancÚ ex wife just kept adding things. My fiancÚ never got to tell his side. He got 5 yrs in prison, and she wanted him to do 2 yrs. He was supposed to be released a week ago, but the DOC likes to play games. This woman is evil. Especially threatening to put someone else away.
I agree, we need . To be inocent until proven gulty .unless other victim as brises and more deep investigation. Women lie
Unfortunately I have experienced this first hand and I would have beat the charges but instead I did not want the children (all 6 of them ) to have to choose sides and cause friction between eachother too. I was falsely accused and the mother was threatening to punish whom ever told the truth. Something has to change very soon before anymore children are affected by this ridiculous law. Seperated from the children and EX has shacked up with a person whos Father is a retired State Trooper who is just as conniving and spiteful as her. I am not wishing any misfortune to anyone. I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO HUG MY CHILDREN AND BE IN THEIR LIVES. Thank you for this website and all the others who are doing what is "in the best interest for children everywhere".
Falsely arrested twice. Unable to see my one daughter, 10 yrs old 50 days. Unable to get any personal belongings from home. Afraid of police brutality. Wife has friends who are police officers
If you CURRENTLY have a Protective Order or Restraining Order issued against you, PLEASE do yourself and the rest of us a favor. FIND a lawyer who will CHALLENGE the CONSTITUTIONALITY of YOUR order!.... AND take it ALL THE WAY to the Supreme Court!

Not every lawyer will want to do this, but FIND one who will! Tell your lawyer to reference "crespo vs crespo" in New Jersey These orders were ruled to be unconstitutional, but it was later overturned on appeal. It is very rare that anyone challenges the constitutionality of the orders. This******WILL change.

These orders are a direct violation of the US constitution. The right to a trial, the right to due process, the right to face your accuser and cross examine them, and the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, under due process.

Find a lawyer who will challenge the constitutionality of YOUR order, and take it all the way to the supreme court. Google: "crespo vs crespo" in New Jersey. Use that case as a reference. Crespo WON! It was RULED that these orders are unconstitutional (duh), but it was later overturned. We need EVERY person with a Protective Order or Restraining Order to start challenging the constitutionality of these orders in court... and this BS WILL change! It is a DIRECT violation of our most BASIC civil rights. These orders are literally guilty, until you can somehow prove yourself innocent!

Please do yourself AND the rest of us a favor.... find a lawyer who is willing and do it! Please. It took me YEARS to figure this out, and I cannot do it because my life has already been ruined and my Protective order has expired... your order has to be CURRENT. I wish I had known when this first happened to me. Please fight this crap in court, for ALL of us. Thank you.
I just got kicked out of my house Thursday due to being acused of domestic violence. I have never laid a hand on her, harassed her, stalked, etc. But now I havent seen my son in over 2 weeks and she is pushing to take everything that I bought and that was given to me by family, and also going to try to take full custody of my son.
JOIN FREE: Federal Class Action for U.S. Child Custody Victims -

Friends, I just joined CAPRA as one of the lead plaintiffs in an upcoming landmark federal class action lawsuit against all 50 States and the Federal Government, because I qualify as: (1) a biological parent whose child custody was unconstitutionally removed without due process; and, (2) I have been directly impacted by that during the last four years, i.e., within the statute of limitations. This class action is on behalf of *both* types of "family court" -- for wrongful victims of divorce-and-similar-with-kids *and* for wrongful victims of child protection services -- and includes suing on behalf of ANY parent affected by either "family court" type.

It's totally free to join, and the federal court relief being demanded includes the full restoral of my child custody rights under law, plus a nice share of the large amount in civil damages expected. Check it out!

It just requires entering someone's referral Code to join, so PLEASE use mine - 42085JL619 - in the CAPRA registration form, located on the bottom of the homepage at

Plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page for all parents fighting family court, too -- Wow!!

Too easy to say rape to ruin a person's life, the hardest part is putting the kids against the spouse and using the child as a pawn. I think there is a lot of this goes on in today Society. It needs to stop!!!
People must wake up to the the fact that women are filing false charges of abuse against men. Women are not the meak like years ago. Look at the tv shows as avid evidence. Women who are really abused are not getting the attention they need.
Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.
This is a travesty! So many innocent men are losing their lives and freedom & nobody cares enough to correct this horrible injustice. My son and family were stalked for three years by a woman who constantly filed false charges and was proven to lie every time yet she still continues with no consequences!! This Is Not Justice!!
I am a male victim of restraint order abuse and my wife ha now played the system in order to get the upper hand on me in separation / divorce proceedings.
This psycho girl kept pulling up in mine and my wife's driveway. I called popo and shed lev. Then return wen theyd lev. All I did wuz throw a rock at her car. She had me arrested and I hafta pay her $2500 plus my fines. She sleeping with a cop also. Right before we went bfr the judge he walks in and goes to the prosecutor and whispers wit him a cupl mins. Then we go up and they make me look lil a fool. I never got to say nuthn. Then the loonatic had went to the next county ovr and signed another warrant. And her cop boyfriend had em waiting on me soon as I walked out. Now i got go thru all this crap again. I've got hundreds of text messgs from her threatening to sign warrants on me if Idon't get her drugs and saying her cop boyfriend saying he will make it Hell for me. I'm 47urs old and hav a clean record othr than traffic tickets. No dui no drug convictions no nothin jus traffic. I think she has 3 or 4 domestic violences. She don't work. She gets child support food stamps etc. Now how are people expected to hav faith in the judicial system? Someone plez tell me
There have been many times Ive been accused of******I didn't do, but more times I've viewed men and boys get accused of rape and assault and get put in jail or expelled from their educations. I'm sick of it.
Falsely accused 2 times of domestic violence in Alameda County, police decline to collect video and audio that could have proven my case there and then, now lost my job, she got advantage of child custody, and home. Thanks California went from making $50,000.00 to homeless, and join the unemployment checks. Of course found not guilty jury trial but to late now.
Stop these from terrorizing innocent people. Often used in divorce they are the nuclear weapons of divorce. Enact strong mandatory penalties for their abuse because there are people who need these protections!
You should look into Juventina Hernandez. Filed against an innocent individual MARTIN COUNTY 19th Judicial Court just to get residence in the US. At the moment she is still involved with this individual. Many women here in this town are accusing innocent men of false domestic violence.
If you CURRENTLY have a Protective Order or Restraining Order, LISTEN UP!

FIND a lawyer who will "challenge the constitutionality of your order, and take it ALL THE WAY to the supreme court"! Google: "crespo vs crespo" It was done once in New Jersey and it was ruled that these orders WERE in fact unconstitutional!! ...but it was later overturned on appeal. This WILL CHANGE!!

EVERYONE who currently has a Protective Order or Restraining Order needs to challenge the constitutionality of their OWN order, in your respective states. ALL of these orders are a DIRECT violation of the US constitution! 1.The right to a trial 2 The right to face your accuser in a court of law. 3. The right to due process. 4. The right to be presumed innocent, until proven guilty in a court of law (with these orders, the opposite is true). These orders are absolutely a violation of our most BASIC civil rights, as American citizens.... but it is RARELY ever challenged in court! Someone in New Jersey did and WON, but it was later overturned. Google: Crespo vs Crespo in New Jersey

We NEED lots of people to challenge their orders (individually) in their own states, and take it ALL they way to the Supreme Court! Not all lawyers will be willing to do this, but some will... FIND ONE!

Tell your lawyer that your Protective Order or Restraining Order is a VIOLATION of your MOST BASIC civil rights as a citizen... the right to a trial (these orders are done "ex-parte', that means: without trial), the right to due process (the burden of proof is automatically on YOU to prove you did NOT commit abuse), the right to face your accuser in court (and cross examine them), and you right to be presumed innocent, until proven guilty in a fair court of law (again, the burden of proof is automatically on the accused, to prove they did NOT commit the abuse), among others. Tell your lawyer you want to challenge the CONSTITUTIONALITY of your order, and tell them you want to take it ALL the way to the Supreme Court! DEMAND that they do their job! This******WILL change! They are finally realizing the epidemic of false accusations that THEY (our lawmakers) have CAUSED! Innocent until proven guilty really isn't that hard! Its a pretty simple concept.

Tell you lawyer to CHALLENGE the CONSTITUTIONALITY of your order, and demand that they take it all the way to the Supreme Court! Tell your lawyer to look at the "crespo vs crespo" case in New Jersey as a reference... they WON!... but it was later overturned. We NEED more people doing this!

In the meantime, contact your STATE legislators / representatives and tell them to END protective orders and restraining orders issued with NO trial, no due process, and NO burden of proof.... while also REFUSING to EVER prosecute the false accusers... 2-3 million of these orders issued EVERY year, but NEVER a prosecution for LYING to get one.... NEVER in the ENTIRE country! ZERO!! Go ahead, try to prove me wrong. Eve

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